Point of View

The 5 things a TV wedding show producer wants you to stop doing at your nuptials

For the love of god... save yourself

For the love of god... save yourself

(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

I've worked in the factual/reality/lifestyle TV space for more than 10 years and have attended an obscene amount of weddings to capture the "special day" to be broadcast to millions across Canada and the world.

Weddings are big business, and there's a reason. It's a status symbol. It's tradition. It's also a perfect way to share the start of your lives with your friends and family.

For some, it's what they've been dreaming about since childhood.

I, on the other hand, am jaded.

Consider this insider information from someone who has seen way too many couples tie the knot. Here are 5 reasons why your wedding sucks, and my (probably unhelpful) tips on how you can fix it. Because trust me, you need help.

Let's not do this

For some reason people think it's a great idea to throw a wedding for hundreds of attendees and spend an ungodly amount on dresses, flowers, catering and booze.

Real talk – it's one day of your entire life.

To spend the equivalent of a down payment on a home (or saving for college funds, vacations, retirement) seems ludicrous to me (but I also won't spend more than 40 bucks on a pair of jeans so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Do this instead: Go get married somewhere else. Take a vacation: Italy, Spain, Barbados. Do it on your own, or with your parents. Then, when you're back home throw a party. A house party, a garden party, or a bowling party (my kind of party). You may not completely sever the budget of a giant wedding, but you'll at least create better memories.

Please note I'm not endorsing a destination wedding here either. Unless I am an immediate family member or best friend who talks to you on a daily basis, I don't want to waste vacation days on week long celebrations of your nuptials.

Getting viral

​Along with the internet came viral wedding videos. You know, those "spontaneous" choreographed dance numbers? Yea, kill it. It's been done. Unless you have the most OTT, unbelievable idea that nobody has ever seen before. Then, sure. But generally no. Stop it.

Do this instead: Nothing! Focus on your guests experience from start to finish. Yes it's your day, but the whole reason you're having this dog and pony show is to show off to your friends and family. So why not make it the best experience for them? Think about the day as a business and things you could do to make your "customers" happy. They'll thank you for it.

Be speechless

Have I convinced you to ditch the entire wedding idea yet? If you're reading this far, I guess not. So if you're still into this whole wedding debacle, then please cut the speeches.

I don't care about that time your friend pulled you out of the water and had that one thing happen that was hilarious that you can't stop crying up there at the podium. Ha ha! Omg.

I don't care. And 90% of the people in the room probably don't care either. Your inside jokes should stay… inside.

Do this instead: Have your attendees write their favourite memory of you down on some Post-It Notes. Keep them small so people don't ramble on. Then you can still have the gushy, nostalgic moments and only you need to hear about them, not me.

Video killed the slideshow

Another excruciating wedding trend are wedding videos that really bring the night to a screeching halt. One wedding I attended featured a 12 minute spectacle complete with talking head interviews shot on location in New York. Why? Why do I need to see a reality show of your love when you're right in front of me. Let's bring a full stop to this trend.

Do this instead:  Go analog with an older, and somewhat simple trend. Print off some of your favourite moments from your relationship and post them up in a contained area of the venue. Let people browse at their leisure and don't force them to watch something they have very little interest in.

Cheeeese-y photos

If you've seen one wedding photo album, you've seen them all. The posed shots with your family, friends and bridal party. Have a little creativity, yeesh.

Do this instead: Stick to casual, candid shots. Natural will always look better. Or go hilarious and spin the traditional posed photo on it's head like these little rascals.

​But again be creative. Don't copy this. Put your thinking caps on.

However you plan to spend your day – don't do what everyone else does. Think outside the wedding box, go with the flow and smash it.