Is it time to call it quits? Your trickiest dating questions answered
Breaking down when it's best to salvage that love connection or just walk away.
Dating isn't for the faint of heart! Relationships can be tough to navigate – especially early on when you're just trying to get to know someone. The hosts of The Goods took on some of your most pressing dating questions to help you decode some behaviour that's on the questionable side. Let's see if these dating scenarios have red flag written all over them.
1. "I'm dating someone new and I'm getting frustrated. They don't take initiative and I'm left making all the plans. I have to decide where to go for dinner, what movie to see, and what fun stuff to check out on the weekend. It's all left to me and my wish is his command. Should this raise a red flag?"
We say: YES, and the the red flag is because he's being a 'passive partner'. It can get annoying when your partner doesn't put in any effort! We think you should be worried about this because relationships are a two-sided affair. Both sides have to invest from the beginning so you can grow and cope with challenges in a balanced way. Someone who takes your interests into consideration and puts a plan into place is sexy. If you aren't too deep into the relationship maybe you should ask for this and see what happens. If nothing changes, you might deserve better.
2. "I'm dating this guy and he pokes fun at me a lot. Sometimes it's in a joking way but other times it feels sarcastic and mean. He has something to say about the way I dress, the way I act and the way I look. I'm not used to so much criticism. Should I be concerned?"
We say: YES, this is a red flag because it could be a version of emotional abuse. A partner insulting and putting you down both in private or in front of others is a method of eroding your self-esteem. They may laugh it off and either claim that they are "just joking" or that you are just "too sensitive." But that's not acceptable – it's the age-old adage of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Show him the door!
3. "My friend has told me to be careful with the new guy I'm dating because every time we get together he gives me a gift. She thinks this is suspicious behaviour and he's covering up something. Should I be second guessing his intentions?"
We say: NO, this situation is all about what you're comfortable with. In our opinion, your friend needs to back off. This isn't necessarily a red flag because every man and every relationship is different. If your gut is telling you to trust this person, and he happens to want to shower you with gifts and compliments, we say go for it!
4. "My new girlfriend is obsessed with her social media presence. Whenever we are out in public she takes a ton of selfies and has to post at least one a day. Does this raise a red flag?"
We say: YES AND NO, the red flag here could be about self esteem. Selfies can be fun — but people who post too many could be showing signs of being a little too self involved. That could translate to some iffy behaviour in a relationship. Pay attention to how they treat you. Do they always have to be the center of attention, not just in their selfies? If so, end it.
5. "I've met someone new and I've come to realize that they have horrible texting etiquette. When I text them I only get one word answers back and I usually get a response a few hours later. Am I overthinking this bad texter?"
We say: NO, this is not a red flag because we feel that texting should not be the only tool for communication and it's certainly not ideal for long conversations. Today people rely on texting as a way to communicate, but call us old fashioned: if you want more than one word answers pick up the phone and call that person and have a real conversation.