First impressions 101: Be yourself, and other age-old advice that holds up in today's dating landscape
The Bachelor Canada’s Noah Cappe shares his top tips on how to present your best self
The hosts of The Goods sat down with Noah Cappe, host of the Bachelor Canada, who's seen more than his fair share of relationships grow and fall apart within minutes on the show. Noah definitely knows a thing or two about how to make first impressions count, and he shared his top tips on how to put your best foot forward.
A picture worth a thousand dates?
Since most connections start online these days whether it's a dating profile, or someone's business or social media accounts, the first thing you see is the person's photo. Pick a photo that represents you and shows your personality accurately. Don't choose a photo just because you look good in it – you want something recent that reflects you as a person. Avoid wearing sunglasses so people can see your eyes, and skip using selfies: ask a friend to take a flattering snap instead. Opt out of using group photos so you're easy to identify, and if you have a professional or casual style profile choose a photo to match.
You need to be honest in your description, keep it free of spelling mistakes, and write more than a single line about yourself. But don't overdo it – people don't need your full biography. All the things that apply to traditional dating should still apply online. Be yourself and be honest about what you're looking for. If you want a connection, swiping left or right on Tinder isn't likely to work out because you're basing your interest off of looks alone. If you're really serious about finding a partner then get on apps that offer more than a purely superficial way of getting to know each other.
Once you've gotten past the pic and profile and you've started connecting, it's time to dig a little deeper. Be positive, and be careful not to accidentally interrogate the person you're interested in. It takes time to get to know someone and you don't want to get too personal too soon. Expedite the process by getting together in person. If you're looking for a partner, there has to be that necessary human connection, too. You can't just text forever and expect to really get a sense of how a person is in real life.
Too close for comfort?
Noah says he's a hugger and likes to break the ice, but stresses that you shouldn't get too intimate right away. Keep a comfortable distance when chatting because nothing is worse than a close talker. In other word, don't come on too strong – good things come to those who wait. You'll feel it when the moment is right. There could be a simple moment, a contact or touch, a spark… enjoy it if it happens, but don't try and force a romantic moment when you're just getting to know someone.
Where are you looking?
Remember that old saying – eyes are the window to the soul. Well, people will check you out – it's human nature, but you want to let the other person know they're being heard and respected. Connection happens with the eyes. And if your waitress or waiter is a cutie, it's obviously incredibly rude to flirt with them on your date. If you're that taken by them, you can slip them your number on the way out, but it's likely they just want to be left alone when they're working tables.
Right here, right now
Being in the moment certainly applies to dating and connections too. Let the other person know that nothing is more important than them at this moment. Have a meaningful interaction, ask them meaningful or interesting questions about their lives and put your phone away during a date!
Ooh I'm impressed!
Lots of people feel the urge to brag when they're getting to know someone, but this usually just makes people seem insecure. Don't try too hard by being a name dropper, putting others down or bragging about your paycheck. Be who you are, not who you think you should be, and don't play games. For instance, don't book a pretentious restaurant if you're a fast food kind of person or go somewhere fancy when you really just love to walk your dog.
Apply these tips and you may even end up with a 2nd or 3rd date. And if it doesn't work out, don't sweat it. The old adage is true – there are plenty of fish in the sea! And, in today's connected world, meeting someone new is just a swipe away.