Against my better judgement, I'm going to tell you a little story about how a bowl of breakfast cereal can get you into a lot of trouble.
On Monday, as is my habit, I sat down to a large serving of 100 per cent whole-grain Shreddies. About three bites in, I hit something hard — and there was a little tooth.
I wasn't sure from what kind of varmit it might have come. I was glad not to have swallowed it, but figured I might as well finish my bowl. My wife and kids now tell me that was a gross thing to do.
And they got mad at me because I wasn't getting mad at Shreddies. They said I should be talking to a lawyer.
The next day I did draft a piece for CBC Hamilton about finding a tooth in my cereal. I included a little Shreddies history. Did you know you can only get them in Canada, the UK and New Zealand? And that every Canadian Shreddie is made at a plant on Lewis Avenue in Niagara Falls? It’s been that way since 1939.
And I explained that Niagara Falls is close to my heart. The girl I love is from the Falls and we visit there often. I got my first daily newspaper job at the Niagara Falls Review. And 200 hard-working people make my Shreddies in that famous city. So I wouldn't be suing anybody. You don't call a lawyer on family.
I wrote that I would notify the Shreddies people about the mysterious tooth. That was my public duty. I filed my tale, which was set to be posted on this site first thing Wednesday morning.
At 11.38 Tuesday night, I sent the following e-mail to CBC Hamilton:
"I'm brushing my teeth just now with my electric Oral B. Something feels funny. Don't know why I didn't notice it before.
"Inside top row, right side, hard up against a big filling, there's a chunk of tooth missing. Oh, oh. I go to my desk, get that little baggie that holds the toothy item I found in my Shreddies. Sure looks like we've got a match.
"So I've got to call my dentist. And you guys have to kill my Shreddies piece for tomorrow! "
You can imagine how warmly I was greeted in the newsroom on Wednesday. And it turns out several of the CBC producers in Toronto had been hot on the tooth-in-the-Shreddies story. Now they're not. It didn't make The National.
Thanks to Shreddies, I’m getting plenty of fibre. But my diet could be a little short on brain food.
You can read other CBC Hamilton stories by Paul Wilson here.