I wish I would have seen this episode, it might have changed the course of my life in 2009. I can completely relate with these ladies from what I have read. I lived it and I did it. And I almost completely lost everything that was important to me. I left my wife for the pursuit of my 'soulmate'. I went on 'business trips' and she 'stayed with a friend'. We carried on a 6 month Secondlife affair and a 4 month real life affair beyond SecondLife until I left my wife to be with her. We were separated by international borders which in the long run turned out to be a good thing because it gave me time to think. Luckily, along the way, I asked myself what the heck am I doing and I found my way back to my family and they took me back. For those of you reading this thinking I am some weak minded gamer think again. I am an educated, entreprenuer with very strong opinions and strong will. I am a good father who is intimately involved in his kids lives. I just got lost and like many people out there was in a rut in my marriage, living two separate lives. Don't judge too harshly those who have found themselve down this path. We all have personal reasons for doing what we have done whether they are right or wrong. I don't blame SecondLife, it was merely the medium for which my infidelity occurred. I really didn't see it as cheating at first. Okay, well I did, but I rationalized it with many, many reasons why it wasn't and convinced myself that I was not cheating. SecondLife is a great place. I really enjoyed my time there. I met people I would never have the opportunity to meet. I created and sold products and it was a ton of fun. However, it is NO substitute for the real world. I still recommend SecondLife, but if you are married make sure your spouse knows you are there. Go together. Have fun together. Learn from these ladies and from me. Don't create a secret relationship. It IS cheating and it IS audultary no matter how many reasons you come up with to rationalize it or make yourself feel better. I have first hand experience of the pain a secret SecondLife relationship can cause. I am lucky. My wife took me back. I changed my life and myself because she and I together are worth it. You who are still reading this and judging, just don't. Until you are faced with a similiar situation, you just don't know what you are capapble of. To summarize my random rumblings above and if I can impart any wisdom on those who venture in SecondLife, all that I can say is if you are married let your spouse know what you are doing and do it together - it's MUCH more fun that way. It really IS cheating and it really IS audultary. Enjoy SecondLife for what it is: a place to meet incredible people, see beautiful things and experience things that you would not get the chance to in real life :).

hello how do you watch this? i can only view the trailer i carnt watch the whole programme theres no watch episode or anything has the video been removed now ? i would have loved to have seen this =(

I find it disgusting to see that a woman could leave her children under any circumstnace. Whatever happened to taking repsonsibility for our actions? In pursuit of her own happiness she has left her 2 boys very confused and they will likley will be suffering from her actions for the rest of her life. What a selfish bitch!

This is probably the best documentry I have ever seen!

Thanks CBC:
What a great show!
Great insight into this addiction.

Congradulations, once again a show has managed to single out some very poor examples to sell themselves twisting things to suit their own agenda of selling the worst of anything.

They don't mention the ten's of thousands of people that use second life for Business, run businesses on it, have their friends, home bound people that use it to have a personal life, handicaped that use it to feel normal, sick people that use it for support.

They selectively find a few addicts and focus on them and sell it as the norm.

The addicts are everywhere, no matter if it is second life, gambling, etc. If they were not on second life they would be somewhere else.

For the Msot part Second life is a wonderful place for peeple to spend time, make friends, make contact with other cultures and interests and for many who can't do things in real life, to do them in second life.

Cancer sufferers find hope and support!!

Some who can't get to churches come online to pray as a group!!

Yes these are all terrible things.

I believe that yes this game was created by professional writers, poets musicians, and just virtual reality gamers, however, I also feel that it was not their intentions either to promote homewrecking, infidelity, stupidity, selfishness, greed or whatever it was up to the individual that actually spends money online, creates a character that they wish they looked like, and gave up everything to go find and meet someone that is as perfect as their "character" or avatar. I know of someone that did just that, that this person travelled far and wide to meet someone that they fell in love with on second life while the hubby was at home keeping the house watching the kids. He was lied to he was convinced that his loving and "faithful" wife was out at some conference or meeting when really she was out chasing down a virtual reality fantasy world and cheated on him.
I dont blame second life for this type of behaviour but i do think that the people that are addicted to this game should really get some serious serious help.

Her life centers around this game, I have seen her sit there and sit there building a fantasy world with their online friends, i have seen her scream at her kids to clean up and cook and i have seen her husband walking around with no one to talk to while his wifes back is turned to him engulfed in secondlife. But im the one thats crazy right? in reality, i have also seen that many second life abusers are heavy obese individuals that find this to be their escape to how they wish they had their lives. Picture perfect.

Just finished watching the program and to say I was disgusted with these two women, who would leave their kids to chase a fantasy is beyond comprehension. The two guys who were with them in these virtual relationships are no better, breaking up families for their own selfish egos!!!! To see Carolyn frolicking in her virtual world, while her family disintegrated around her left me incredulous. Her selfish attitude was just so frustrating to watch. Janet leaving her two boys, so that she could be "happy", just shows how misguided and out of touch with reality these two ladies were.

To hear people defending Second Life on here is just hilarious, they say it's just a harmless, beneficial world where many worthwhile things happen. But just the way they describe it, with virtual institutions mirroring those in the real world, shows how insidious ans dangerous this Second Life can really be. Be interested to know how much time they spend on SL???

I blame SL and our society, which tells people constantly, that happiness can only be achieved by concentrating solely on our own needs, to the detriment of all others. Even if those others, are our own four children and husband or two now motherless boys in Calgary!!!!!!
If any people ever needed a session with Dr. Phil it's these selfish misguided people.

it makes me so mad and hurting for the kids when i watched this program.the lady can sit there and laugh her brains out while talking about barbie and ken(her imaginary life)i personally think this is cheating and neglect of her children.i truly believe its another form of child abuse and the kids should be taken away from her.the dad should be just as guilty for allowing it.for him to sit there after his kids addressing the hurt they feel,and him doing nothing.take his kids and leave for a week or two.maybe then she will open there eyes.these people are sick in the head and needs some serious help.its no different to ad addict that gets high 24\7 and neglect her family.wake up and get a freaking life.its just a game,its NOT real.its so obvious that these people are so passionate and believe this is real ,because they can't have it in real life.they are missing the confidence and balls to stand up straight and stand out for themselves.instead they hide behind the screen,feed themselves with false self worth. SAME ON YOU!!ENJOY YOUR PARADISE BECAUSE ONCE YOU WAKE UP,THE ONLY PLACE YOU'LL END UP IS HELL.FOR ALL THE SUFFERING YOU HAVE CAUSED TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!IDIOT

WOW!

I am watching the final minutes of this special and it is shocking!

The lady that flew to the UK seems to have completely lost touch with reality. I recall that she made a statement to the effect of: "if I could just flick a switch (to fix my marriage) I would". Can any person older than 14 years of age (not to mention a mother of four) have that much of a skewed perspective of reality and not have learned fundamental life lessons about working at relationships (and life)?!

I'm not sure what it takes in a persons life and to make them NEED instant gratification to the extent they shut out the real world, but I think it's profoundly sad.

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!GET SOME SELF ESTEEM,SOME BACK BONE,AND INTERACT FACE TO FACE.I PROMISE YOU IT WILL FEEL A LOT MORE REAL.EVERY ONE HAS PROBLEMS AND BY GOING ON TO THESE CYBER GAMES WILL ONLY ADD MORE PROBLEMS AND HURT,NOT ONLY FOR YOURSELF BUT YOUR KIDS,HUSBAND AND FRIENDS.LOOK AT WHAT YOU GOT IN REAL LIFE AND CHERISH IT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.IT MIGHT NOT BE PERFECT BUT ITS REAL.PLEASE GO GET SOME REAL HELP BEFORE YOU FRY YOUR BRAIN. GET A FREAKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

these are hurting people.people who live there fantasy on sites like this needs to wake up.its hurting a lot of people including themselves.it's obviously that these people were outcast,been rejected and just missing alot of things in there lives.the game says it all,its only a game and a fantasy.there are looking for that perfect partner in life that they will never get.so they go online to replicate it.its all good,until they take it seriously.usually ,this is not consider cheating.but when you take it that seriously and live it as it is real,then that is where the line is drawn.one of the lady spends 12-17 hours on it.neglecting her kids needs and husband.get a freaking life.get professional help because something is real wrong up there.i would be embarase to be one of these people because it says so many things about themselves.it says,i am weak,i have to seek fantasy internet games to make me feel wanted,insecure,have no back bone,just plain HURTING.wake up people and get help before your life is ruin.

I stumbled across this page while researching Second Life, a program which I have recently started using for purely creative purposes, and I am disgusted by the bile and vitriol spewed forth by some people with regards to this 'game'. Unfortunately I haven't seen the your programme since I live outwith Canada but, given the number of comments on here, I can see that it clearly showed two sad, vulnerable people who were unable to distinguish reality from fantasy.

Actions and behaviours like this are not unique to Second Life but I can understand how people of a less stable psychologocal predisposition could be affected by the freedom and idealism available to them in SL. However, Second Life itself is a valuable creative tool which, for me, allows creativity to try out ideas which would not be financially viable in the real world.

Yes, there are sexually themed areas but they are clearly labelled and you couldn't simply 'stumble' into them without actually looking for them. People will look at porn and have cybersex, you can't stop them but it's a personal choice whether you do the same. If someone wants to screw up their lives then it's their choice and is NOT the fault of a series of numbers organised and programmed into a user interface.

People are always looking for someone to blame for the ills in society and will scapegoat anything they don't understand. We're all responsible for our own actions, a computer is not. The people so quick to damn Second Life should take a look at themselves and their own bigoted prejudice before spewing their unbalanced opinions for all and sundry.

I highly recommend Second Life as a creative outlet but if you're inclined towards seeking out something to make up for your shortcomings in real life then so be it. The decision is yours.

Welli caught part of your show ...i'm glad to say that at least you haven't jumped on the bad press bandwagon about Secondlife...BRAVO !

We can agree then that Second life is much more than just gambling and sex mongers of cyber space,
but your tunnel vision is still to narrow.

Secondlife is also a learning experince ...ie cyber universities ...administration seminars.....charity orginizations.....fund raisers....religious instruction , sheva's , virtual synogauges, wicca , and many others....Business applications ...sales and services...real estate sales....small business...scripture....and cyber theatre, ie Broadway productions.....and yes clubs of every shape size and discriptions...butyou barely scratched what Second life is about..not just merely a game but there is that too and sooooo very much more.

Glad i caught the part of your show hope to see you look more deeply into this second life been there for years myself learned much and still learning.

Yours truely;

uncle_barry01@yahoo.co.uk

You read about children being 'hooked' on virtual reality shows, but I was appalled to see adults being drawn into this world as well. I feel so very sorry for their spouses and children - what on earth kind of role model are they being to their children. These people need to get a grip!! What kind of society are we living in today that people turn to the internet for this kind of escape?? I had to laugh at Hanna - the look on her face spoke volumes - I think at times even she couldn't believe what these people were telling her!! Certainly a world I know nothing about - I'm so technologically 'challenged' I'm still trying to navigate FaceBook! An excellent, insightful programme - thank you for presenting it.

I just watched your show on people being swallowed by make believe and ditching their real families.
I was shocked and appalled that supposedly mature and sane people would give up on their real lives for a cybor life and hurt so many people doing it
Boy, that is really scarey and sad

What is this game would like to try it who ever knows what the game is called plz tell

How can anyone blame either Second Life or CbC for the people who exist online. Second Life preys on people who are looking for something and they make a fortune doing it. Nobody makes people join SL. I think they are sad people who have low self esteem and they can be a bigger than life fantasy figure online. CBC simply told a storey.

Did you miss the interview ? Go to www.gamerwidow.com to get help for yourself, your loved ones or friends. I just watched the woman who started this website after finding her own life in shambles. She and her husband ignored all incoming mail, phone calls, cleaning of the house, and when her mother called, and she got angry at her disturbing her gaming, she realized something was really wrong with this picture. Go and view her interview on this site.

I guess it doesn't take much to get addicted in this crazy world of choices. Not everyone is strong, and some people live in a fantasy world of their own, without SECOND LIFE, or games like that. Look at all the websites for meeting partners. We have forgotten that human contact, not computers, is the challenge we need to face. We hide behind a screen, keyboard and mouse. We are afraid to face one on one. Why is that?
Lack of confidence. Fear. Now we have to go back in time. When we were kids we were sent out to play with our neighbours kids, our friends and schoolmates. We came home after a full day of play, interacting with our piers. Do we do that now? Not much. That's why these games are creeping into our lives and making real life a chore, and a fantasy life something we can hide from.

GET A LIFE PEOPLE.

Very interesting show indeed! You make it seem effortless when we watch it but I wonder how you guys follow such a story that spans a long time.

We built individualistic so called "self-sufficient" societies and extremely advocate profit over God given values urging people to work 7 days a week abandoning family and social life, and look to what extent people become so lonely, empty and very vulnerable. Very sad! We need a life balance. Our systems are still lagging behind. It is a wake up call.

Keep the great work up!

Wow,8 months later,and still no response? I guess that Debbie,who asked on Jan28/09 received her answer within the 10 month period,EH?

These people were unhappy in their relationships to begin with and would have found a way to cheat, whether Second Life existed or not. The program was entertaining, but anyone who thinks that represents all of Second Life needs to give their head a shake.

We all wonder why our society is so screwed up. We are only bringin this on ourselves by letting these companies create thes games and causing soo many of these problems. Our government has to put its foot down and draw a line when it comes to what these companies produce. Oh yeah, I forgot our government has NO BALLS to do such a thing anyway. These people have to get their heads our of their ass and GROW THE HELL UP!!! These are adults for christ sakes. How can you sit in front of a computer for 12 hours a day and play this crap when you have a family to take care of. They don't deserve to have a family. How can people spend real money on this, LOL. If these people have to rely on a video game to spice up their life, man o man this just blows me away.

This is one of the reasons I have stopped watching television.

When did The Fifth Estate become so desperate for viewership that it would reduce itself to sensationalist reporting?

REAL FACTS ABOUT SECOND LIFE

1) Musicans create and produce and promote indie music in second life. Poets do poetry readings, and network with creatives from around the world. Many people I know have been published, from their activities in Second Life.

2) I have, by use of a translator HUD (program) met and spoken with people from all over the world, in their own native tongue. French, English, Arabic, Hebrew, Spanish, Italian, Russian, German and more.

3) FREE UNIVERSITIES exist in Second Life, for the education and betterment of people. ESL classes offered, give people access to skills which enhance their lives.

4) IBM, Coca Cola, and most major Universities and Product Brands are represented in Second Life for business marketing purposes.

What you have done, is equivalent to this. Go to a crack house in Toronto and interview two people on "what it is like to live in Canada". Then use that as your basis, to represent the entire country.

You should be ashamed. You specifically went in looking for a sensationalistic story, seeking out the dregs of our Virtual Society, and then judging an entire electronic community, based on a percentage of maladjusted social misfits, who demonstrated NO LIFE BALANCE, responsibility, or integrity (to their spouses and children and first life responsibilities).

I CHALLENGE the Fifth Estate to come back into Second Life with me, Skylar Smythe, as a tour guide.

I will show you the artists, the poets and the songwriters.

I will show you the art that is being build, the fundraising that goes on, and the global friendships and business networks that are fostered there.

I will show you the PhD's and Master's, Professors, Lawyers, Doctors... the huge population of academics that go into that realm to create, without boundary and geographic/economic limitations.

But you won't.....

Because falsehoods sell.

The Fifth Estate has always been a respected Canadian Institution. You have lowered yourself to "Jerry Springer-esque" journalism, and I am deeply heartbroken and disgusted with the lack of integrity in your reporting.

Shame...

Skylar Smythe
Age 36
The Guerilla Poetess (c) 2009
Toronto, Ontario Canada

Well, all I've got to say about this is that this video is right on the money. You do not have to look further than all the newcomers who get their fix on doing inappropriate actions with a virtual avatar. These couples should have been ashamed of themselves and must have had problems in the head long before SecondLife.

They were married. What were they doing looking for love online?

To many people are blaming a game for the wrong decsion that others make for themselves. This show was very one sided and for someone who has never played second life, It is presented in a very bad light. For those of us who do play we know that SL is much much more than just hooking up and having virtual sex, which is no different than phone sex and we all know thats been around forever. Those women who left their kids well that was a descion they made on their own. Not that I agree with it, but it was their choice, we all have the free will to decide. There are also lots of good relationships that come out of this game. My finecee and I met in SL. We have been together now in real life for 3 years and are still as happy as the day we moved in together and no ones life was runied. I know more that have worked out well. Why not do a show on that.

I find it strange that people are blaming Second Life for people cheating on their spouses. If anyone was to blame it is the people who actually cheated. This is like blaming the hammer for hitting your hand. Second Life was created as a form of entertainment so people can kick back and have some fun. It does not control you nor does it dictate your actions. The people who cheated or are cheating on their spouses did it on their own free will. What I find scary is how people are becoming more and more willing to blame the tools to justify their actions and how other people are willing to accept that excuse.

What an unfair assessment of Second Life this was. I was really disappointed. You ONLY showed the selacious side, but SL is so much more than that. Believe it or not, some really good things go on there, all kinds of business, charities, non profits, churches, etc. operate in Second Life. People can get really creative learning how to design clothing in 3-D, building and scripting objects. There is also a HUGE and growing music scene, with all genres represented, some very very talented performers who you can listen to, and "attend" their concerts. You can get to know people from every corner of the earth, learn about them, their customs, languages, etc. But wow....you only chose to show this drivel about cheating spouses. And, in the end, have only succeeded in promoting the game. There are so many more users now. I hope they are having fun!

This is an interesting documentary Hana
To those blaming cbc of producing the negative effect of second life. What else do you expecting, help promote a game that is ruining marriage? Or is it because it has not happen to anyone of you. A game that de-humanise the constitution of marriage needs to be publicized to the society. In the case of a woman that left four children to be her concubine in england is lost in her identity. After four children, she still think are life is not complete, to say that fact she is selfish and did not think about her children. She is lucky that her husband accepteded her back. People are are now using game to cover their secret agender of proscuimity. They know that when they are married they are not allowed to disrespect that holy union. But in the name of game they are ruining their partners and children involved emotionally and psychologicaly. The Government are still batling with murder and gun violent due to mostly ineffective parental control. Supposing the wife and husband engaged with second life game to fullfill what thought ever they could have become in life and end up with their vitual partners, who will stay behind to cater for the children, GOVERNMENT? I guesss with the taxpayers money. People needs to wake and be a responsible. For those who believe they are single and having fun because of the attention you are getting from who know who a pedophile and sweettalker that you feel good, life is not always like that, it when you meet such person in reality then you decide is this so called 2L real is what you need to get on your life. That is my piece and I think this documentary is an eye opener to what internet is advancing to.

This show was...intersting. I was, at first, really angry at the people who cheated (yes, cheated) on their spouses...and yet "there but for the grace of God go I". I guess it's really important to know your limits and be couragous enough to stick to those limits...Otherwise you'll be someone who leaves their children and runs off to a different country to don a dog coller and a pistol. *shudder*

Second Life - heck, thats hardly scratching the surface! There are people who have these things called telephones and they use them to cheat on their spouses and defraud people with investments, sell shoddy windows and doors and some people SELL DRUGS on them and even have phone sex. If you know someone with a phone - then you probably know a perverted drug dealing sex fiend.

And there is this horrible thing called the postal system and people mail each other child pornography and smut and clandestine love letters and it goes on and on and on. If you see someone with a mail box - you know what kind of person they probably are.

And that is about how shallow your story about Second Life was. There are indeed pathetic people like those you showed playing the game, but a game is not responsible for the people who play it. People like these find ways to screw up their lives regardless. They just used Second Life in this case,

There is the side of Second Life that I know where the lands and community are PG, there are educational and artistic things going on and nice caring good people to get to know and relate to. They teacn and learn and put a great deal of effort and money into charities like Relay For Life or Doctors Without Borders. But of course - what kind of news story would that make.

Cheap shot Fifth Estate - unworthy of you.

By watching this i begin to wonder,
when will virtual reality fetishes begin.

This program brings to light something very frightening. I discovered Second Life when my college used it as a means of a Virtual 3-D world to help with Graphics Design. It's an amazing medium to work with when it comes to creation, but it's very easy to get emotionally attached to the people behind the avatars.

I caught myself spending massive time on Second Life to escape the stress of my day. Meeting and dropping lovers at a whim. One day, I looked at my young son, offering up a toy and saying, "Play with me!" I had to kick myself and ask why my fantasy was so much better than my real life. Because the highlight of my life was right there! Standing in front of me, offering up his toy waiting for me to pay attention. It was a vicious awakening from someone very small and very precious to me.

I met someone in real life that I met on Second Life... and he just happened to click with me. Now that we're together, we've made a pact never to go back to Second Life because now, we have a family. And there's nothing in Second Life that we can gain that we can't find in each other.

In the end, all Second Life does for anyone is fulfill that which they lack in real life. But when you're lucky enough to have a beautiful child... have a handsome husband. Who needs it?

Sometimes, we all need a little filling for the void. But when you have everything you need... a wife, kids, a great husband... Don't leave it all just for Second Life. In the end, your fantasy will destroy what you already have, and if you're not very careful, you'll lose something much more precious than what you gain.

I'm sure there are a few who will pick this apart and argue about it... But bottom line, who am I to judge? I was there once. I even have a husband to show for it, but we know what it is. It takes time away from our family. We were there once together.

And we're not going back.

I have to agree that the show was a touch sensational but I can't say it wasn't a good watch. Ultimately it was about two people cheating on their spouses who couldn't manage to admit that there was cheating going on. I mean let's grow up and call a spade a spade, shall we? That Janet blames Ric's wife for "not playing the game" is absurd. I'm sure if he were to start playing with another woman in the game, though, Janet would manage to find it unsavoury. I'm all for people being happy, but one has to own up to the amount of fallout one's "happiness" causes.

I've read a few posts on here from people who play SL who felt the game wasn't portrayed fairly. If it's any consolation, as a non-SL user, I didn't perceive the show to be a comprehensive idea of what SL is about at all; just the particular way in which the game, like a lot of other online activities, make it easier to cheat on a partner whilst being able to deny that you are.

And that CSI episode about SL was NO less sensational, lol.

Second Life. Let me get this straight. You sit down in front of your computer in your bedroom at home. You spend endless hours creating an "avatar" - that avatar is a cyberspace rendition of your fantasies, you spend endless hours on your own trolling for an equally useless avatar in cyberspace. Lightning strikes, your avatar finds its soulmate in cyberspace. You meet, no your keystrokes meet, in cyberspace, and you proceed to, no your avatar proceeds to, spend a glorious afternoon on a beach, with its newly-found, soulmate avatar and you get a tan and a "date" with, well your keyboard I guess, and you "have sex" with your soulmate, no I mean your keyboard or whatever you think it is. Sounds a whole lot like playing solitaire on your own to me.
So Bill Gates becomes the richest person on the planet by creating the 21'st century version of a skin magazine - and you, no I mean your avatar, somehow believes that this is something approximating reality.
Too funny - I think I'll jerk off with my avatar friend tonight and convince myself that I'm experiencing reality.
Black jack laid on the red queen, Black queen on the red king, and Bill counts his cash ...

Like so many on this blog, I could not believe what I was seeing on this program. The lady from Pennsylvania seemed really mixed up and "beaten down", and I found it a bit easier to have some sympathy to her. That Janet just floored me, however. When she talks, it sure seems like she has some intelligence and decency lurking in her. But to create some skanky character on a weirdo video game, have relations with another character....insane. Then she runs off with this idiot wannabe "tough-guy"....degrades herself by wearing a dog collar....I'm just shaking my head. My full sympathies to her family in Calgary.

OneSLavatarWhoKnowsHowItGoes: I was sceptical when Dutch claimed that a whole bunch of people have commented on their "fairy tale romance." Perhaps you were one of them?

Dear Ms. Gartner: Our comments apply to many TV programs. We enjoy your programs, but frequently cannot hear the person talking because of the loud background music.
We can hear the commercials on the same program, with background music because of lower volume. Staff like you are easily heard, because all of you TV people have clear voices. Many of those you interview have muffled voices. Please do not cover up what they are saying with loud music. This comment was sparked by a recent broadcast, Stranger in Paradise.

I thought this was a very ENTERTAINING documentary. I really didn't realize that someone could get so caught up in the Fantasy world. I can't believe how stupid some adults are. Hat's off to the woman who Left Ric! I felt VERY sorry for the young children. They would probable be better off living else where. These kids don't stand a hope in H**L. It's people like this who are to blame for the way our society is today! Good job Hana! I don't think they could have picked a better reporter for this one!

Thank you "Fifth Estate"

Very good program and very good work.

I hope your program will be an eye openning for many people.
Internet is a very powerful tool those days.
As shocking (and silly at the same time) it is, things like that happen and many lives are changed forever. A lot of people get hurt because of it.
Fantasy becomes reality, unfortunately.
I guess it is easier to play a game, instaead of improving your real life. It does not require much effort.....does it?

DO NOT PLAY WITH YOU MIND. MIND is a very frigile thing to play with and should never be played like this.
Game should be a game, but some of the games are a little bit dangerous to play and people with a weak mind get drawn to it and their minds are taken over by it.
Your program showed very well how dangerous those games can be, when they become reality for some.

Thank you.

just watched the show and read some of the comments those are some very pathetic people as presented by the program..... but in particular the completely selfish woman who abandoned her kids in calgary and felt it was her time to be happy... i guess happiness is a gun and a dog collar if youre already halfway to a serious disorder ( shes dangerous ) noticed there was no video of these people looking each other in the eyes in real life not too surprising

Just in case this was something other than a Fifth Estate April Fool's joke, here goes.

Her husband is a wimp

His wife married a doormat.

I got sick of listening to that Forest Gump nonsense coming out of his mouth.

What an insult to Forest Gump.

Not once did I see Forest Gump whining away about what a victim he was in life like this poor excuse for a man was doing.

He should have his kids taken away from him for being such a wimp and allowing this disgusting behavior to continue.

Near the end of the show, when the husband and wife were both sitting on the couch being interviewed, the wife was looking at her husband like he was Bozo the Clown and daring him to do something about it.

A real man would have walked into the bedroom, pulled the computer cord out of the wall, cut the cord, and taken the computer outside to the trash.

Then when she ran outside to retrieve the computer, a real man would have put her bags on the front porch and locked the door.

Does he also bring her meals into the bedroom, light her cigarettes, and wipe her bum for her so that she doesn't have to take her hands off the keyboard?

He's a WIMP.

She fantasizes about something better.

It's too bad they reproduced.

I think I'll go and check out Second Life now. It looks cool. bye

Simply aghast! What are people thinking? I'm guessing they are not.

Nice of CBC to actually come out and show women in a light that they really do not like to show them in.
Mental abuse is as much a problem as physical abuse which was displayed in the first scenario. So where's the men's "crisis hotlines" and men's "crisis centre's"?
The second scenario actually show's why abortion should be legal so as not to have mother's just simply discarding their kids! Abortion could have prevented this mother from ever being around which would left this "socially incorrect" problem never to appear!
Two sides to every story eh!

After watching your program, anyone who plays this game is disgusting to say the least. Its shows how desperate people have become in these present times. The fact that you have to us a credit card to pay for access is terrible. People are becoming more de-humanized by the day, and this is living proof.

Your story shows one side of a virtual world.
Second Life is also a vehicle for education. Not all members are in world for "Fantasy"

Take a look around, there are virtual universities, educators, writers, scientists, playwrites, actors, musicians, comics, etc.

The Learning Experience is one such place where people can go to learn. It is working towards accredidation to bring education to anyone wishing to learn. They are looking to provide this for free. Second Life allows students and instructors the benefit of working together, with useful tools in a virtual classroom , from anywhere in the world, without ever having to leave their homes. Second Life is not just what you have portrayed, it's the wave of future education.

I guess u can say in reality; internet is like another world in cyberspace and how you use it can dominate you life.

Good reporting Hannah but you did not tell us who owns Second Life and how they get the money from those fools who were buying islands and whatever!.

I wonder if the avatars can be sued for alienation of affection...

Cheating is cheating whether it's in real life of on a "game", even worse if it is emotional...really isn't there enough compitition in real life???? How can anyone justify even starting to play a game like that while they are in a commited relationship. To vent completely I am so sick of the cheating and family wreckers, it's disgusting and pitiful, no wonder theres so mant fucking stds killing people now!

I would suggest that anyone who allows themselves to let anything to destroy their marriage should watch the movie called FIREPROOF. It could change your heart and save you from making a mistake.

My name is Dirk. I am the son of Ric "the biker". I don't know how to feel about your program. I think it was fair because I to can see both sides to this very complicated situation. On one hand I am very excited to see my dad so happy but on the other I can see how it can hurt people directly involved with him. I am glad you gave him a fair shot at explaining his side of things. I know he was very upset at the way the Wall street journal portrayed him. What they said may be true but they told him something different on the way the story was going to be. It is respectable that you chose to show all sides of it. I don't really know why I felt the urge to comment on this but thank you for being honest. Oh and to all the negative comments I have seen, please don't judge a book by its cover. I don't think you would want someone to base their whole opinion of you on one situation in your life.

Second life is lame, i've played warcraft but never been addicted to it or felt a compulsive need to play. These people need to spend some time getting some achievements in their real lives and ditch the crappy second life.

If they'll do it in the virtual world chances are they'll do it in the real world. Thoughts become actions!

Cheating on your spouse is cheating whether it is with a flesh and blood human or a pixelated avatar. There is one litmus test to determine if you are cheating. If you hide the relationship from your spouse, you are cheating. Preforming the activity with your spouse's approval? Not cheating. Doing it in secret without their approval? Cheating. Deception is cheating. Got it all you wiggle worms that feel it's okay if there is no physical contact?

These people are sooo STUPID!! FANTASY AND REALITY ARE 2 completely different things!!! This is the same as people who become addicted to pornography or even child porn and then want to act out their addictions in real life,.. causing ruin to their families and those around them. STUPID is the only thing I can say,.. STUPID because that wanna be biker woman will be crying a lot harder once the idiot biker guy dumps her for someone else,.. or they get bored of each other after REALITY of life sets in. Its sooooooo pathetic how in their little stupid make believe world they have this amazing life,.. but THE REALITY OF THEIR REAL EXISTANCE was being confined to 18 hours a day in front of their computer!!! HOW LAME!!! What's the difference between that and being in prison? They are prisoners of their own making. These people need a slap to the side of the head.. Its stuff like this that makes me hate the internet.. and its effect on our society as a whole. We are tooo dependant(addicted) on the internet and technology... Its pathetic.

I played Second Life for 3 years and same thing happened, I lost my girlfriend at the time because I just couldn't get off the game. Did I play to find love? no! I seen that people were making literally thousands of dollars playing and thought I could to. I wasn't married while playing. I was 21 years old so I didn't really have much to lose. But good did come from the game, I DID meet a woman on there (not while with my girlfriend) and 5 years later I'm still with her. Would I recommend Second Life? Yea, it's an experience, but it's addictive, so not if you have a family or more important things to commit to. It's not like when it first started, now it's all sex this and sex that. But to each their own I guess.

Dear Ms Gartner,

I have been a fan and watcher of yours for many years, though not so much lately as it is difficult for me to access your reporting.

I appreciate your concern for the people in your report. Truly, like any other form of escapism, Second Life can be a dangerous thing. Many of the things you say about it are true.

But this report, while factual in many ways, also gives a false impression of SL as a lurking menace.

It is not.

Mostly, though I believe the people you interviewed told their stories truthfully, I did not appreciate how your editing team used the SL images to show the virtual world as a seedy, dark and dangerous place.

It is not like that, any more than real life can be. There are places of true beauty there. And there are beautiful, creative, loving people there who DO have it in perspective and DO enjoy it as it is meant to be enjoyed.

At the very least, you could have noted that your SL images were manufactured to go with your report. I'm sorry, but I don't believe they were recorded during the actual events that you report.

This is the thing I am most disappointed in about this report.

Also, just like any virtual meeting place, whether chat room, dating service, or whatever, there must be stories that refute the bleakness of these two. Perhaps you could balance these and depict the positive and negative sides of Second Life, or any other virtual "game".

By the way, Second Life is not a "game" in the strict sense of the word. It is not reality, but it is not a simple game.

I would be pleased if you took a second look at this and other internet virtual reality networks, and perhaps filed a second report that covers a broader picture.

Regards,
Matthew

Good job of depicting the most pathetic and cruel self afflicted victims of this virtual world. Like the characters in most successful sit-coms, these folks show strong signs of personality disorder. Its funny in fantasy, not so in reality. Just sad. Their homes and families are in crisis; what kind of therapy or counselling can deal with this insidious growth on societies underbelly. What will we come up with next?

I must say, I'm extremely disappointed in Fifth Estate. Having watched the show for years, I've come to expect some intriguing, insightful journalism that will be well-researched. Instead, it seems you have chosen to take the easy road of boosting ratings by creating a moral panic based on some extremely bizarre, atypical cases.

I don't play Second Life, but I've done enough research on it to know that of the 1.4 million users who log in every month, those profiled in your show are unique. Like any social group, there are people who have personal issues, and in turn, will react poorly to things. There are also many, many people who use Second Life as a form of recreation and have no problem at all.

Using yellow journalism to create a supposed "problem" to project on ignorant viewers (many of whom likely had never heard of Second Life before watching your show) is a tactic best left to the FOX Network. I hope this isn't indicative of a new method of journalism Fifth Estate intends to take.

i think it's really sad story,,,I couldn't believe my eyes or ears watching that show.
UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!

To Debbie and all the others quick to jump to conclusions.
Reading a good novel can be the exact same thing, it's escapism. The only difference is that the novel has an end so whether you like it or not you have to put it down after a while. A game like that doesn't and that's why people lose the notion of time in there. Also they keep describing everything as being virtual, yes it is virtual but you need to keep in mind that you are still dealing with people in a form or another, it just looks like a game because if it was a single player experience you would put it down as soon as you did the book.

I'm not saying I agree with what these women did in this documentary but there are a lot of women just like them, some are lonely, some are confused, some are unhappy.. these two just happen to escape and interact with other people via an online game. It's sad that so many unhappy people exist in the first place, maybe you should take a look at those escaping by resorting to eating too much or drinking or doing drugs, but that somehow won't make such good television.

They could have emphasized a little more that Second Life is NOT an eHarmony video game. They're very interesting stories though.

The seduction of SL?? It is the real world person who controls the avatar. It is NOT Second Life that makes a person do what they do.... It is by your own free will that you choose to do what you do and feel what you feel.

It is not the Internet, It is not AOL or Rogers or your cable company, It is not Second Life. It is YOU on the other side of that computer screen who makes the choices of what you do or do not do, who decides what is morally right for you, or chooses to disregard it all.

I have been in SL for over 4 years....It is NOT all Sex! I help raise over $250,000 REAL USA dollars for American Cancer Societies Relay For Life. We do the worlds largest virtual fundraiser in SL, just like in the real world with ACS reps guiding and monitoring every single cent that is donated. And this year our goal is $500,000 REAL USA Dollars.

I have raised money for Dreams, the stroke survivors group that gives people the chance to be what they cannot be anymore in the real world due to limitations.

This is just another shock value story that is what the media craves to get ratings. The story should have been researched first hand...come in to SL, see the Good Side of it ...the Cancer support groups, the educational groups, the autism groups, the 3d Learning groups, the computer training....

SEX is NOT SL. Sex is there only if you are seeking it out and that is what you want. That is your choice...but not the choice of the majority of people who are in SL.

When it comes to people and videogames (videogame or virtual chat) some people can play/use them others cannot or souldn't...I heard that someone died playing World of Warcraft cuz he was soo addicted he wouldn't eat, or sleep, etc. until his body shut down, yet is WoW (world of warcraft) a killer videogame? Over 8 million+ people play it and they are alive and well[as far as i know] (i use to play it alot..like any game for me it ran its course) There are all sorts of sides to playing videogames, get out of reality, to have fun, for competetiveness, socializing, etc.

So again certain people are just not meant to play videogames. I wonder if there is a study out there determining who souldn't play videogames?

I cannot believe the two families you profiled on this documentary. The woman with the children who ran off to England to meet her avatar needs a reality check, as does her husband,(who is a total sap). She really has him over a barrel, because he obviously paid for her tickets to England and after threatening that she would not be allowed back in the home, he did just that. I am a woman and I cannot believe how she betrayed her home & family for an avatar? I think she needs psychiatric help. And I think her husband needs psychiatric help also, for being such a doormat. Those poor children!!
The woman from Calgary, who left her family behind to move to Arizona, where they now spend their evenings happily playing their weird lives on SL?? Too bizarre.

But I have to tell you, I actually checked out SL, simply because the graphics you showed on the documentary were so beautiful. It is quite a strange and beguiling site. But one has to remember - THIS IS A FANTASY WORLD....

To those who claim this was not a 'balanced' portrayal of SL..please..dont insult my intelligence. It is all I needed to see and it is a weak attempt from those that claim this is 'normal' by any means. If the empty, forlorn souls who get caught up in this web of fantasy choose to delude themselves that is their option but those who engage in this fantasy ruse who are married with kids then you are doing a disservice to your loved one and family. How dare you check out of reality and seek outside yourself at the cost of ruining not only your marriage but also setting a horrible example for your kids. It is laughable to think one can make an 'intimate' connection with another soul in this cartoon like fantasy world. It is escapism plain and simple and it is unfortunate that when given the opportunity to exist in the REAL world, you choose to escape to this kind of childish game. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry for these people..such selfishness! You will never get this wasted REAL time back in your lives and you really should examine your souls to see what is so lacking in your lives that you would resort to such foolishness! No wonder kids are messed up and isolated in their fantasy games.their parents are to blame and perhaps they are too lazy to put in the effort of being a parent? Unplug your pc and get outside and smell the roses people..it is a cowardly refusal to exist in REAL LIFE!

Wow, I feel bad for these women and their families.

The good thing about being single is you don't have a husband or child to ignore when you're too busy playing Second Life.

I am a never-married childless spinster in her mid-30s. I have no husband to cook dinner for and no kids to read bedtime stories to every night. That's how I can afford to spend 18 hours playing Second Life.

It's nice to get all my online game time to myself uninterrupted.

I swear, you don't know how awesome it is.

Oh ... my.... god.... people really needs to get their prioritys straight.

I think if you're going to create a story like this, as professionals you should check your sources. As nice as it was to give you a snappy line to use, no, you do not have to pay to play in Second Life.

As a resident for 2 years, I have been able to experience the majority of what SL has to give. Yes, that even means finding love. I have seen people begin relationships in SL and they have gone bad, but I have also seen some that move out of the game and these people are the happiest and most perfect couples I have seen. It's not always something that ends in tears. I had the honour of introducing my friend of 14 years to a girl I met on SL, and they are now living together and happily married. I myself have met an amazing girl through SL and we are currently dating and couldn't be happier.

There may be some that believe that having been in SL for so long that I have "No life" and that I "Live in a fantasy world", but the truth is I lead a very productive life. Just because we play a game like this does not mean we just throw away our real lives just for it. I am a student making my way through Television Broadcasting, go out with my friends, and everything else a well-adjusted person does. Do not group us all together simply because there are a few bad apples. Instead of demonizing a computer program, perhaps try and find help for those who need it.

Wow. What one-sided, slanted and skewed "journalism." I am stunned. I've heard about shows like this going around but this is the first time I've seen one.

If you actually look up Second Life, it is listed as a 3D CHAT program, not a game. There are plenty of games inside Second Life. Did your journalists not watch the shows or read about the whole gambling delema? That should have been a big tip to not mislabel such a powerful tool.

If you had actually bothered to create an avitar and join the SL community, you would have met a world that is entirely user built. It teaches 3D oject creation, very big in todays gaming market, business management if you happen to own a store or have a job inworld, product creation and marketing, not to mention the endless possiblities to create things that cannot exist elsewhere at this time.

You skip over the amazing museums that are loaded with user creations and rival any piece of work on the outside in the real world. You miss beauitful, detailed work of replicas build inworld, things that many people will never be able to see any other way and you go straight to the sex because it sells. Were the rest of your story ideas that weak that you had to badly rehash crap?

You see the one other thing you got wrong in your broadcast is that if those people were happy in their "real life", their first life, they never would have "lived" on Second Life to begin with. The fact they fall in love on a so called "game" is because their partner, knowing or not, is not giving the attention the other needs. This goes in ANY unhappy relationship on or off SL and in the end, human contact from any other person, someone who listens and can have empathy, can be very attractive. You also ignore the very benificial and theraputic effect of letting go and totally being yourself, or just not being who the world needs you to be, just for a short time.

I am disappointed in the way this was done, but not at all surprised.

Wow, is real life really that bad for these people that they need to escape it? Sheesh, we all have problems of our own, but some people just seem to can't face theirs so they turn to the virtual world. But once you put the game away, the problems are still there. I think by playing this many hours a day, they're also trying to avoid having to deal with them.

The people who think they are in love are actually in love with a perception that they want their online lover to be. But when reality and fantasy meet, it's kind of like pulling back the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. It was funny to see how that dream for the Penn. housewife was shattered when she finally met her romancer face to face. The biker babe... she might be in for a surprise later cause if her husband cheated with her, he might do it again later on - online.

Well.

I've been playing SL since November 2006,and as suprising as this may sound, it was a CBC news story that got me to Login for the first time!

The story I saw was about a kid..he had MS, was confined to a wheelchair, and could barely speak understandibly.
He used SL as an escape from his disease.
I was intrigued by this concept of being able to "live out your fantasy" so I gave it a shot.

A what a fantasy it was!
I found love, prosperity and friendships that still last to this day, however throughout my entire second life, I never 'forgot' I had a 1st one, and I've never met anyone in real life that I first contacted in world.

Suffice to say...some things should remain 'virtual'.

Its so messed up. I feel so bad for the families profiled, they looked so hurt. These gamers just checked out of their lives like suicides. They didn't seem to take any responsibility for the problems in their lives which they helped to create for themselves and their families. They seemed to lack creative coping and problem solving skills. They illustrate the destructiveness of low self esteem and depression. What a horrible message to impart to children. My husband and I are both heavy internet users but at night we always sit down, eat a meal together and play a board game with the kids. These are the precious, happy and real moments in life.

I love it. Such sick minded people out there. Many do not take marriage seriously. The biker's wife was right there in the real world. The emotions of some people are out of control, they realize that relationships do not last long.

Back then, it was prostitutes, mistresses, cheating. Now it is SL.

Sad thing is, a lady dumped me even though she promised to marry me. I figured out she married for money. So she will not get love there. Yet people around her are protecting her.

Me, I am consistent, I am family oriented. When a couple get married, they should build relationship on Trust, Working together to resolve issues. Just like that.
What is the world coming to?
Call me old fashion. But what I saw in Fifth Estate was blame the victim. The divorced woman was blaming her biker husband's wife. "You brought it to yourself..."
Take some responsibility and stop destroying marriage.

What a load of rubbish. Fifth Estate (which was a program I had previously admired and enjoyed) has not only rehashed (badly)an existing documentary that was extremely interesting, but also reduced Second Life to some kind of arcade experience.
I joined SL in May of 2008, after being involved in playing video games with my teenage son. I had heard about it and had no preconceived idea of what it was. I soon discovered it was an excellent social networking site, full of creative, artistic people. With 60,000 plus people in SL on any given night, imagine my surprise when I met someone who is now my Real world partner. In my late 40's, I had been separated for 6 years and was not looking for another partner in the slightest fashion, and had accepted the idea I would not have another mate for the rest of my life, yet because of SL my life is happier and more fulfilled than it has ever been. He lives in the US, 3000 miles and 3 time zones away, and our first meeting in real life was amazing. He and I had been unknowingly searching for someone like the other all our lives. The challenges are there because of the distance between us, but we have Second Life which helps maintain our relationship between real world visits. Will it last?? I don't know. We have great hopes and faith in each other that it will. I just wanted others out there to know that Second Life is so much more than what this program made it out to be. I would also refer anyone with any interest to Wagner Au's site "Second Life New World Notes" - an excellent site that would help you realize that art and education and music are huge parts of the world itself. Music is one of the reasons I met my partner, and I have several other now very close friends in other parts of North America who I never would have met if not for joining this fascinating world.
It's not all about people escaping their real lives, though many go into it for that reason.
Thank you for allowing my comment.

from the web site New World Notes by Hamlet Au 2/3/09:

"This long news feature on Second Life adultery from Canada's CBC "Fifth Estate" program recently went online, and you can pretty much guess its slant from the screen capture at left. ...

In any case, that's not the most interesting thing about the CBC documentary. This is: it's almost a complete re-hash of previously reported stories. One of the CBC's featured couples was also featured in the Wall Street Journal's 2007 article, "Is This Man Cheating on His Wife?" The second couple was featured in a 2008 BBC documentary on virtual adultery (a much better production.) In fact, the CBC transplanted whole long segments from the Beeb (which hopefully got a kickback.)"

Response CBC?

Off topic: CBC this white type on black background is murder to read. I just give up, eyes stinging. It's kind of graphics 101 not to have dark background and light type.

Run, Forrest, Run!!!

Also, had to smile at the Calgary woman who put down the ex-wife and rode off into the sunset with the broken down old biker....

when will people learn?? If you're having an affair with a married person and they are cheating with you, they will cheat on you! One of these days, she will be the ex-wife...guaranteed!

I suppose I'd be a lot more shocked and appalled if you journalists wouldn't keep recycling the same two couples for two years as your evidence of the sordid goings-on in Second Life. I'm surprised you missed the third...the couple from Cornwall...maybe you didn't have sufficient time to recycle the previously-aired footage and stories?

Really...if there are only three couples you people can dredge up in two years, I'd say SL is pretty darned tame when it comes to soul-destroying addiction.

Last night after watching your show, all I kept thinking was well doesn't this remind me of someone. My now ex-husband was, and probably still is addicted to video games in general. I don't blame the game Second Life for being attractive, there are many other games out there who have the same or more level of addiction. If I had seen this show three years ago I know I would have been personally extremely upset. As my new marriage had fallen apart due to my then husband spending countless hours in front of the computer playing online video games, his version of spending quality time with me became me sitting in front of one computer while he in the same room was sitting in another, in the end I couldn't keep up with the expenses, I asked, pleaded with him to get a job, help around the house anything that would show me that he still had some love for our marriage, hope for the future. In the end I left. He couldn't hold a job for a long time he always found excuses, and he always had time for his video games. It took me a while to get over the fact that the man whom I had fallen in love with was not the one I ended up with, he stopped socializing (with real people) he didn't wanted to do outdoor activities,unless it was online he only wanted to play with his online "friends". Now looking back I know he didn't believe at the time that he had a problem I had told him that he was spending too much tim e on the computer.

In the end I'm glad I did what I had to do. Yes, it hurt like hell, I would have died for this man, but in the end he really did show me that he was not worth the trouble. We were together for 15 yrs married for 1 and 1/2 . I'm glad he's out of my life but I still feel sorry for him...

I would be really interested to see how many other relationships ended up in divorce because of an online game addiction.

What awesome investigative journalism! I think the Fifth Estate should now go after all those other locations where married people meet and end up having affairs with others: bars, skating rinks, dance halls, stores, libraries, churches, and--worst of all--the workplace!

Once we've figured out where all these places are, we can ban them--or whatever it is you folks think should be done to Second Life--and thereby save ALL the marriages of the world!! Because obviously it's the PLACE where people meet that causes the affair; the otherwise very-happily-married people fall victim to adulterous thoughts just by stepping over the threshhold.

The funny thing is that these exact same stories have been told so many times over the years that I'm starting to wonder if they're the only two incidents of infidelity to be found among the millions of Second Life users. I guess the rest of us are too busy building or attending educational programs, devising new methods for product safety testing or training on hazardus materials, for example, or attending corporate planning and training sessions via Second Life to realize that we're all "supposed" to be having cyber sex. (Or maybe we're having all our affairs with penpals -- you know, those friends we only know via the letters we write and the photos we send each other through the mail?)

Oh, and by the way, you might want to look up the definition of "game"; you can find games in Second Life, but the application itself is no more a game than is the physical world.

News reporting like this makes me doubly glad I quit being a journalist many years ago.

Leave it to the CBC to be behind the times, once again. This aspect of Second Life has been beaten to death both in England and the US. In fact, the footage of the woman in Pennsylvania and the Brit, has been taken from an American show on the same subject. If this is such a widespread issue in Second Life as you seem to infer, why didn't you find some new people to interview?

Hey I have an idea! Instead of regurgitating programs from the States and England, why don't you get off your cushy job pillow and perhaps be, hmmmm, original?

If you really did your research about Second Life you would learn that there are thriving and well populated Educational and Arts communities worth investigation. Try reading some blogs like: New World Notes, Impossible in Real Life, or the Learning Experience; you might be pleasantly surprised and perhaps create an opportunity to present something interesting and ahead of it's time for a change.

Thank you for carefully reading, considering and especially appreciating this comment.

I think that what is really happening here is that people are forgetting that life itself is a mystery & people want to find out about themselves or certain other things, but have to search alone to find a soulmate or to be with someone! Its great to see that people are searching & taking time but if you are already married or spoken for, why even bother to go to sites?? You are just putting yourself @ risk of losing something you already have or family for that matter...

I don't know what disgusts me more--people who lose their first lives in Second Life or CBC's one-sided coverage of the virtual world. You did not publish my earlier comment about the good educational content, non-profit work, and more than happens in SL.

Shame on CBC--this type of sensationalism would go down well "south of the border" in the States.

How about a balanced look at SL?

Oh, CBC, how you make me smile. Always just a little late to the party, your reporters dig up memes that have long since passed from the realm of sensationalized titillation to the land of trite cliches. So ponderously moralistic, and so blithely aware of history, you remind me of nothing more than the local news broadcasts we are subjected to in the United States.

"Are carrots poisoning your children?"
"The hidden dangers of microwave popcorn!"
"Cyber-romance on the information superhighway: true love or forbidden pleasure?!"

Why not do yourselves -- and your viewers -- a favor? Dig more deeply into virtual worlds such as Second Life, and see if there just might be some positive and prosocial applications of this emerging technology.

Or, if you'd rather stick with trite technology sensationalism, I hear that there's this newfangled thing called "instant mesaging" that is melting the minds of contemporary youth. Details at Eleven!

SL plays with your feelings, no question. This coming
from a happy and level-headed woman, mother, and wife who just got into the game for fun. I only spend maybe an hour a night on SL after the kids are in bed. Well, guess what? My avi met another avi. He is very charismatic and compelling. If I were single, I would consider meeting him. I thank god I am in love with my husband and enjoy being a mother. Even then, there are days when it takes a lot of willpower to stay off the computer. I will not risk my family for a game, but I can see how others fall into it.

So let me get this straight... The average age of a second life play: mid 30's.

How can a 35 year old person play a game for 14+ hours and become EMOTIONALLY attached to something that doesn't truly exist?

More so, who are they, people who have trouble with a game in which you do nothing but walk around and look at really bad graphics, to rain down on the Teens and Twentys about how they are "addicted" to games like WoW and Everquest or even games like GTA4 when they are having virtual sex and destroying their own lives and marriages. Isn't that just hypocrisy.

If anything, thanks for showing that its not KIDS with the problems. Kids have grown up with this technology since they could walk. We understand the boundaries of this virtual world. However, those who do not enter it or grasp it till their 30's are bound to think that anything this 'game' could offer MSUT be real since it's supposed to be a second life.

Atleast kids don't go outside, call some kid an orc, then shoot them. Yet we have married people running off with their virtual lovers because they feel a 'connection'? Psh, please...

I found this episode sad, especially for the children of these two women. I can understand that it is possible for marriages not to work out and perhaps even end in divorce. But there is no excuse for abandoning your children. These children will forever suffer from abandonement issues and low self-esteem because as children do they will blame themselves - mom didn't love me etc. Once you sign on to be a parent it is for life. What they have done/are doing is irresponsible.

I think that the biker wife is suffering from serious depression. I couldn't believe that she said that his ex-wife "brought it on herself." She scares me. Wearing a dog collar? Are you serious? She strikes me as someone who would do ANYTHING for her man!! Her husband is no winner either.

And the other woman's husband is worse than a doormat! He needs to stand up for himself and his kids!

What a sad commentary on the emotional problems of so many adults who are living their lives in complete denial of issues that are plaguing their ability to live a healthy, happy and functional life. The stay-at-home mom who sits all day in front of the computer ignoring her children and husband, who thought her cyber boyfriend was going to become her real boyfriend, has more problems than this commentary could fill. She needs professional help. Not only for herself, but also because she is, by her actions, causing significant damage to her children - you cannot "check out" of your responsibilities as a parent and not expect your kids to notice and suffer because of it. As for the Calgary mom who gave up her kids to marry her cyber boyfriend, she also need professional help. Being lonely and depressed is certainly something that many people go through, but the solution to this problem is not to become completely obsessed with, and dependent on another person such that you would abandon your children. I feel terrible for those boys, who must be very traumatized by this experience. I find it very difficult to hear adults talk about "their time to be happy." She had a choice to get married and have kids and she made that choice. To now blame her children for her unhappiness is beyond selfish, its utterly ridiculous. The fact that she can now claim to be happy and in love with a man who would require her to abandon her children is truly unbelieveable. This woman has zero self-esteem and is willing to be a door mat - that's probably the reason why she had children in the first place and certainly the reason why she's now living in Arizona. Her life is going to come crashing down on her at some point when this new husband leaves her for wife #4 and when she realizes her children despise her. Hopefully at that point she turns to professional help as opposed to cyber space.

Both of the women in this episode commented that they felt a 'void' and were 'looking for something'. The answer is Jesus Christ. Shut off your computer, pick up a Bible and start reading the Word. Everything you will ever need to know can be found inside. Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. John 14:6

I hope Janet's children scorn her the rest of her life for abandoning them for some loser guy who makes her wear a dog collar. Where is this callous, selfish woman heart not to mention her brain?

Janet, what you really deserve is misery. What goes around, comes around, hon.

Wow, what a sensationalist piece of garbage. I'm deeply disappointed with the CBC for producing this. It starts off with a misconception right off the bat - that Second Life is a game - and repeats that over and over again. It would have been nice for the program to do some research into virtual worlds (NOT games) before airing this (ie: Taylor 2006, Boellstorff 2008).

This program also doesn't address the millions of people in-world who don't let SL interfere with their daily lives, but rather enjoy it healthily and in moderation. Too much of anything is a bad thing, obviously, but as a SL user and an educator in virtual worlds I'm disgusted with the portrayal that shows all SL users as pathetic, basement-dwelling losers.

I also think the documentary is framed against the woman from Pennsylvania, and I feel for her. She may be online more than is healthy, but she has a right to feel unhappy in her marriage and to seek to do something about it, even if that solution is online. We may not agree with it or want to do it ourselves, but it is obviously bringing joy to an unhappy woman so who are we to judge her for that? She was not in love with a "fantasy" as the documentary states, but rather speaking to a REAL person who wanted to listen to her problems.

If people are going in-world because they are unhappy with their daily lives, then maybe the problem is with their daily lives and not with Second Life. I think in many cases SL is just a catalyst, bringing to the surface problems that already existed. SL is being treated as a scapegoat, being blamed for breaking up marriages when obviously things were not going well in the first place. Those scenes of her husband shopping or doing the dishes - maybe if he had done those things BEFORE his wife would have never needed to use SL in the first place! I don't approve of cheating in any sense... but these people shouldn't be villified for doing what millions of others are doing (seeking companionship and intimacy) just because they do it online.

I would have expected more from you, CBC. So much for balanced reporting. You might as well be a tabloid.

I couldn't believe my eyes or ears watching that show.
WOW! That anybody would walk away from their children and family having pursued a "romance," through a computer just blows my mind!
Furthermore, the lady that accepted and WORE the dog collar and accepted the gun as a gift, in my opinion is headed straight for REAL TROUBLE.
UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Hana and The Fith Estate for bringing these scenarios out to inform someone as naive as me what exists on the internet.

These women are looking for something outside themselves for happiness.

Janet in particular seemed shallow and ruthless. Her now husband's ex had "no one but herself to blame" for not wanting to abandon real life for a non existent virtual "reality". And the venom in her voice when she said that! Yet, I still find myself shocked that she abandoned her children. And that she excuses it with how "busy" she was, all while having sufficient time to devote to a computer game.

The housewife has also abandoned her children for her own emotional "needs". To dump your kids and scurry across the ocean, or play online for most of the day while your kids are left to fend for themselves is outrageous.

How very sad for these women - to have fantasy gripping them so much that they would forsake their real lives. Janet (Calgary) really affected me - to rationalize abandoning her children by saying it was "her time to be happy", and fooling herself into thinking they were accepting of all of it - Don't fool yourself, Janet. You have scarred your kids for life! Isn't it the right of every child to have parents that their children make them happy. And if the guy she left her kids for didn't want them - did he really accept all of her?

I regularly watch the Fifth Estate and looked forward to the piece "Strangers in Paradise" when it was announced. While watching the show I was disturbed by the lack of balanced reporting, a balance that for me, with few exceptions, has been the hallmark of CBC journalism over the years. I then read the comments on this show posted to date and noted that there were two distinct categories of reply, those that were more or less outraged by the actions of the two women and those who in one way or another pointed out the lack of balance in the piece.

Now in my experience good investigative journalism is clearly designed to make you think and gives you enough of the story to form opinions of your own to seek for the deeper truth of the situation. Lesser forms of journalism on the other hand have the primary objective of getting an emotional response from the viewer. That form of journalism taps into such things as our perverse fascination with car crashes, our deep fears around change, our tendency to finger point and our desire to be morally superior, to name a few.

This piece had such potential but sadly in my opinion was designed to push all of the the viewers emotional buttons without much regard for balanced reporting or deeper thought. My question for the Fifth Estate producers and staff is from a journalistic point of view how does this piece serve the Canadian public? My question for the CBC is simpler, when did our national broadcaster move into the "shock" journalism business?

It is a good training course for Schizophrenia.
The game is well propagated,being lucrative business
Thank you

I laugh at people who are so quick to say these "cheaters" are "despicable" . I am also amused by those who defend them. People, like me, in the 30-50 age demographic are just experiencing the rush and power of Online connections. Our kids take it for granted and know the difference between RL and VL friends.

Intimacy, however, is a challenge to every person in every relationship. Anyone who can call another person "despicable" for seeking emotional connection with another human needs to look in a mirror. We all crave that connection, whether in this life or a Second one....

Nicely done show and well filmed in Sl. Yes all that goes on in Secondlife as it does in RL. It would be nice if you also did a show on the creative, commercial and educational role that Virtual Environments may play in our future. That truly would be an eye opener for Canadians and make for more intelligent discusssion!

I loved seeing the program. I was never on SL and Hope I dont Honestly. As I am Addicted to another program Online. Paltalk.com... Im on this now about 2 yrs spending like 10 hours a day. I prayed to god More time then I could to stop....to get the Courage to get off....and I cant. Paltalk is a Web cam program. To enter a room and turn on cam and to view other cams as well. I find myself *doing up* for to go on Web Cam and go into rooms every day. For someone to notice me and be like Wow Ur so beautiful......Would u like to talk is like a little piece of Heaven for me so to speak. I was married for 12 yrs to a abusive man that treated me like dirt....called me ugly fat useless and now to go online and see a man say im Beautiful....Im addicted. Maybe they are LIEING I DONT KNOW. But I truly wish i could go. I cancelled my net like 10 times always to get it back. I have 4 kids that I wish i could break free from the net and do more with them. They are all in school so from 8 to 3 pm im online on paltalk...I dont work getting EI due to lay off. I miss my life...going out seeing friends...I look like shit...over weight as I eat fast food so much. I got high blood pressure and sugar. Believe me if i could go I would...I want to get off the program but i cant. Its like a drug...the more u get the more u want....stupid but true. Like the lady who said on the program I wish i had a switch to turn on and life be back to normal i would.....I would too....Long ago.

Stressed to the Max in Newfieland
Judy Aka Miss Thang

Thank you, The Fifth Estate, for bringing to light the startling truth that people have failed relationships. I never would have thunk it, myself. If there were such a thing, then Hana and crew would deserve the Nobel for hard-hitting investigative journalism for that astonishing revelation.

It seems to me the piece could have been saved if it had argued some kind of causal relationship between virtuality and infidelity but I don't recall anything like a hypothesis, hard data, or anything other than haughty dismissals of a world the presenter clearly knew nothing about. That was unfair. Hana might know more about Second Life than the piece lets on but, if she does, she wasn't telling.

My belief, based on anecdotal evidence, is that there is no hard and fast relationship between "playing" in virtual worlds and being an amoral, self indulgent, me first, borderline personality. However, it remains an intriguing hypothesis and if the Fifth had gone down that road I would have happily tagged along. The problem is that such a thing would have required research and, whatchamacallit?, critical thinking. Strangers in Paradise was a sensationalist smear; it was an exercise in pointing and snickering at "losers" and that, I learned when I was four years old, is just plain rude!

To those who now think Second Life is nothing but the sad people depicted in this "documentary", I would like to recall to them that a single counter-example is enough to refute such a gross generalization. I would offer myself as counter-example but I might be delusional so, instead, I will offer the tens of thousands of Second Life residents who have wonderful productive first lives chock full of real friendships and loves and kids and taxes, people who are as much disheartened as anyone by the banality and sordid messiness that the Fifth Estate saw fit to televise.

K.

again, the emphasis on sex, perversion and obsession, in a show about second life. second life is also about, music, artistic expression, and the joy of community. Check out burning man in second life for the sheer wondrous joy of artistic creation.
sl is also about community building, and gives people who previously felt cut off from the world a real connection, to others.

Liz Rosch deserves a Gemini for her editing in this
episode.

The Second Life scenes she edited together along
with the music and all the camera perspectives used
through the SL client were wonderfully entertaining.

I laughed and smiled every time one of these scenes
was presented. What a wonderful compilation and
communication of romanticism this editor brought
to this virtual environment.

Liz, you rock, you really did an amazing editing job
and brought Second Life to, well... Life :)

It's incredible what's happening on the internet. Obviously, the people who allowed it to break up their marriages, already had problems. The woman, Janet who left her kids to be with the biker appears to be wearing a slave collar. She doesn't seem to be deliriously happy with her choice, but who knows? I do feel sorry for her children. It's one thing to live it in virtual reality, but how many would really want the real experience? I'll stick with my fantasies.

Some important info was missing from the report. Sue and Ric were only married just over a year and in that time she helped his mother through an illness that took her life in addition to helping him deal with that loss. She had to stand by and support him while he was unemployed and ill himself. This "woman" '10' is deluding herself into thinking that Sue did this to herself just because she didn't hop right onto Second Life and be his plaything there. Had she done that, who would have worked and paid the bills and made sure REAL LIFE didn't crumble? He sure as hell didn't get off his butt to make sure he could support his own addiction. Now he doesn't have to because he convinced a simpleton to do it for him. The comment about not letting the door hit Sue on the way out infuriates me to no end. Zero regard for what she had to put up with while he got to be completely selfish and disregard a vow that was made.
The theme he has must be very convincing because he's obviously very good at manipulating his wives into believing that they are happy. Both Sue and the new one have said, "I just hope my family realizes how happy this makes me." But if it has to be at the expense of your family, how happy can you truly be? '10' cries an awful lot in this interview for someone who says she's got it all now.
Also, the story portrays Ric as a "biker" which is hysterical because riding a motorcycle was something new and also quickly put on the shelf once he found Second Life. He stopped doing anything outdoors and real life-related once he got on that game. There was zero activity away from the computer during his marriage to Sue after he got started on Second Life.
I really hope people take a lesson from these two stories and I thank this media company for highlighting the reality of online addiction. Yes it's new and to most people who don't understand it, it seems harmless, but to those it has affected, it's completely altered their lives .... and not for the better. I'd be curious to see how long real life lasts for Ric and Janet. I hope very much that the other couple shown here learn from Sue's story.

A very interesting and real depiction of what can happen in SL. I have been on SL for 2 years and for a period of time found it to be highly addictive. I choose to remove myself from the game for two months to think about it clearly. My observations were that most of the people on SL, including myself have something lacking deeply in their life. Be it poor self esteem, boredom, a bad marriage, anxiety issues, anything.
It is a game, but there is strong emotions that come into play when certain things are missing in ones life.
Many times I would say to other avatars on SL "this is only a game", 90% of the time I would be browbeat for my comments. Today, I go occassionaly on SL just to chat and waste time. If these people could just remove themselves for a few hours and get out of the house..live life for real, they would be happier. Most who cannot do this, need mental health therapy.
They are not fucked up, they are lacking something in their life, and who isnt really?

I thought I would mention that Second Life is not the only place where people meet up for these type of virtual relationships. I played City of Heroes / Villains (CoH / CoV) for two years on the role-playing server and watched first hand people having relationships with virtual characters. Not all the role-playing that happened in the game was relationship based, but the game provides places for players to roleplay with other players however they want. They even have a virtual club where you can role-play your created characters publicly, and meet new people and talk in character ((or out of character)) about any subject they want, whether it is about the game or not.

My friends are currently into World of Warcraft (WoW) and roleplaying can get so serious in that game, that I even watched a wedding happening between a friend of mine and his partner in the guild. There are millions of people playing World of Warcraft and some playing 12+ hours a day. Of course it was up to the individual of that game to participate as they want, but when you have a game like World of Warcraft, where you cannot really beat the game alone and is designed for the player to join groups and guilds to fight for a specific cause, people can make the game and the social part of the game however they want.

Even now, consoles like the PlayStation 3 has their PS3 Home, which is similar to Second Life, where you create an avatar and talk to other PS3 players. You meet new people and try to arrange to meet in other games.

We can even go to a website to post about ourselves for the purposes of meeting others for dates, relationships or more, or chat in forums to other people and want to meet them in real life, if possible.

Second Life is the most famous of the social networks, but it certainly isn't the only one out there. And I will bet that there are hundreds of stories like the ones in this report that turn out better, and there are some that are probably worst. As the Internet gets bigger, individuals will always find something, video game or otherwise that wil be an escape. And as games become more multiplayer, the escape from reality is no longer a lonely one.

Bravo to Fifth Estate for deftly exposing the stupidity of people who engage in role playing video games.

I have been a resident of Second Life for almost a year now... yes there are good and bad sides to everything, even video games. But SL is so much more than a game, it's an experience. I have been thru the gauntlet of emotions from bliss to hell while there, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Before judging the women on the show, perhaps you should consider exactly what drove them to the decisions they made, but as well.. it's not just women but men who have made sometimes horrible life altering decisions based on SL, but some have made wonderful discoveries and love. Personally I know Ric and Janet's characters and I truely believe they made the best choices for themselves. Is it wrong to want to be happy and loved? I think not.

I have also loved and lost, and found love again thru SL... why should we be condemned for that, when you don't condemn the folks on match.com or other services online? I have been lucky enough that despite it all, I have found the most loving and wonderful man that I want to spend the rest of my life with while in world. Real Life relationships can and do develop there, and sometimes they ruin lives, and sometimes they result in the ultimate bliss.

Don't condemn the game for the actions of the humans behind the avatars.

I think somethings need to be said in defense of Second Life Not everyone here has sex, Not everyone is leaving their family to "be with" some one they met here. In fact My husband and I both Second Life together our family life is great and we like most on S.L. have a Good Normal Life, I really wish You To come to places on S,L, like NCI new citizens inc. and see the better side and show the whole story about second life. There are good people here as well.

Thank you for having this information available. I thought I was going crazy. My 10 year relationshio all of a sudden started to fade away and I had no idea why. Now I know. Time to join the Gamewidow.com website and hope for help to get things back on track

Unfortunately many GOOD relationships can be ruined by internet relationships. Not just secondlife, but other mediums. The good marriage and real life cannot have the perfection of a relationship based in unreality. Addicted people lose themselves in the dream and their real life pales by comparison.

I am disappointed in Fifth Estate, a program I have come to expect balanced, thorough journalism. This sensational, negative story regarding Second Life was just another in a long line. The silly music that went along with the SL footage I found truly annoying.

Many people have pointed out the positive aspects of SL and I echo those sentiments. SL is not much different than the internet in general except that it is a 3D variation thus it is prone to some of the unfortunate things that happen elsewhere on the internet. What makes SL different is that it is a world where the content is created by it's residents. The experiences one has in SL is up to the user and many people don't bother or focus on the sex stuff; on the other hand, many do.

If someone behaves irresponsibly in their actions in SL (i.e., they are married and get involved in an intimate relationship with someone in SL to the detriment of their RL marriage and family dynamics) that is their fault, not the fault of the "game". They could have avoided that behaviour if they were motivated to do so.

I won't dispute the fact that SL can be addictive. I have been involved in the "game" for two years and have gone through a variety of phases. I am a single mother with one child in RL and there was a time it was a bone of contention for us but eventually I found the necessary balance. I build in SL and do have one significant relationship in SL with someone who lives overseas. I consider him a best friend and we have always been completely mindful of the distinction that must be made between RL and SL.

I just really resent all the holier than thou people passing judgement on a couple of troubled individuals who made poor choices in their attempts to find happiness and feel loved. Chances are if it wasn't SL it would have been gambling, alcohol, some other substance, or an office affair. Unhappy people break up their marriages and neglect their kids in so many ways. Some people don't "get" SL and that's fine. Lots of people do and like any other human organization it is not some homegenous thing where everyone is the same or should be tarnished with the same brush. There are some wonderful things about SL and shame on Fifth Estate for not pointing those out. A million stories in there and they pick these two...

Loved the show.
And I agree with Debbie. These poor children.
While the mom was on the computer, you could notice the children doing the following: sitting around doing nothing, watching TV or playing on the computer. Plus, they were probably eating take out and unbalanced meals. Not only are these kids growing up without a mom, they are on a road to join the rest of our growing population - the Obese!!

I saw this documentary when the BBC aired it, some time ago. It's shameful, what these individuals did when they cheated on their loved ones.

It's even more shameful that this is the ONLY side of SL that mainstream media report.

Today, the first-ever Second Life Educational Support Faire ended, with presentations, booths by exhibitors, and discussions of effective teaching with technology.

All of it held in Second Life. Not a bare breast or simulated sexual act to be seen. Yet there were talks about training ER staff using virtual worlds, providing links for students separated by oceans, and making realistic simulations so readers can "walk through" a novel they are studying in a course.

The virtual world will mature, in that other sense of the term, as more educators, corporations, and non-erotic gamers interact there.

So grow up, you folks who are afraid of the online world, and help us shape it in creative and productive ways. And yes, there will be addicts: but there are addicts of all sorts with real-life substances and habits, too.

Shame, shame, shame on these dispicable people for "loosing reality" and losing their family over such a rediculous, childish "game". I think kids have more common sense than these "adults". ANYONE who particpates in this needs to have their head examined and get a grip on "LIFE".

I feel so sorry for the husband who is a doormat (in some respects he deserves what he's getting for not sticking up for himself and his KIDS!). But for her to laugh at him and undermine his feelings, she is a total waste of skin.

The other one who joined the "lovely biker dude". What is she thinking. The guys a total loser and so is she. She reminds me of someone who is being beaten behind closed doors - a mouse if you will. To leave your two kids for this guy?? Actually, you deserve each other.

We all have problems in this fast-paced, stressed world we live in, but COME ON people, get a grip. Instead of wasting your money on such fantasies, hire a professional psychiatrist and spend the money wisely and find out the real cause and issues of your life of why you're throwing your life and your FAMILY'S out the window. The poor, poor kids. As a child - try and explain that one to your friends or even try and come to grips with it. Who's the adult and who's the child???? As if kids today don't have enough issues with peer pressures, Internet, drugs, etc. etc. You people are disgusting!

My ex-husband reminds me of "Gump." Just the nicest sweetest guy you've ever seen. Only my husband was a passive aggressive jerk who cheated on me constantly, was abusive, dirty, tried to pick up women right in front of me, and lied constantly. He sure put on a nice face around other people, and knew how to play the victim role to get sympathy. I tried to work things out with him, we went to counseling, and he would always say he would stop, but every time my back was turned, he was with some other woman. Then he would beg forgiveness and promise to never do it again, until the next woman came along, and he was off with her again.

I'm not saying the woman with four kids -- Janet? -- was in the right, because I feel sorry for her kids. I'm just saying there is more than meets the eye, and her husband did a good job of playing up the victim role. Maybe Janet tried to make her relationship with her husband better but it didn't work, and SL was a last resort before cutting her wrists? Gump seems caught up in his own little victim drama, and if he's that sick in this aspect of the relationship, there has got to be other aspects to him that are not conducive to maintaining a good marriage. Janet's boundaries are off the scale though, it seems like most mothers would have stopped and thought about their kids. I just wonder, what drove her to this? Or maybe she's just selfish. It could go either way, I don't know because I'm not there.

For the past three years I have been on SL. I met a nice guy on the other side of the country. We flew back and forth and spent time together in person over the course of a few months. We decided not to pursue our relationship because of our children (we are both divorced parents).

In real life, I can't go out running around with my friends at night when my daughter is in bed. But, I get lonely in the wee hours, so I sign onto SL. I chat with online buddies around the world, tend my store, build, stay in touch with real life friends and family members who moved to different parts of the country, listen to music, visit various parts of the world, time periods and fantasy realms -- all while my daughter is asleep. When my daughter is not with me, then I go out in the real world with my real life friends and do real life things.

Looking at Tenaj's situation from another point of view...I made the choice not to leave my daughter behind, or move her away from her dad...but it's difficult to be a depressed, lonely single mom. Maybe she thought that finding a little happiness was better than having her sons grow up with a depressed and hopeless mother? Maybe she was afraid she would grow to resent them? I don't know. Maybe their real life relationship is an extension of the online fantasy and is doomed to run out some day?

SL isn't going to ruin a good marriage. Being online long hours is a symptom of a bigger problem.

I felt so bad for the husband and family of the woman who was "in love" with the man in england. Now that reality has shown that neither was what the other expected, I would like a follow up. I would like to know if she's still online or spending time with her family. As for the Calgary woman, she may have found her man, but I was disgusted by his comments about his previous wife, he's selfish and if she doesn't go along with what he wants, then he'll probably say the same thing about her, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

Thank you for your show Strangers in Paradise. While I agree with many posters here that perhaps it depicted one aspect of Second Life, that aspect must not be ignored because it can be a compelling underlying reality of adult gaming and adult gaming addiction.

I was a SLer for 2.5 years until just before Christmas 2008. I got into the world quite by accident, but the degrees of SL that I chose to experience were not by accident at all. Yes, I lived many fantasies (Owning, decorating and landscaping ocean-view property, throwing unique parties, group sex, erotic dancing, prostitution and more!). Common-law married in RL (and faithful) with a child, I had a string of romantic attachments in SL, the last and longest one resulting in a marriage (complete with the white wedding I never experienced). But more than that...In SL I was having an emotional affair with someone who was also married with a child. The only thing that separated us is an ocean. We came very close to meeting and I wonder if we ever would have taken that big step in real life if it were not for how torn we felt. The fantasy was so compelling and might make us happier in our real lives. But at what cost? He is running a successful business with his wife in the Netherlands. And I have a great family lifestyle, self-employed and with shared real estate here in Canada.

In retrospect, I am so happy and so relieved that our collective good judgement won. We both recognized the power, draw and seduction of the game. Although it took several attempts we finally left Second Life permanently and broke all ties (msn, e-mail).

In light of all this I can so relate to the brave people you showcased. My life was unravelling around me while I spent up to 18 hours a day living my second life. I was sleep deprived, lost weight, then gained it all back and more, my fitness level dropped, my house was a mess, my work was often procrastinated, and I walked around in a haze most of the time. I even got more traffic tickets! When I was not in-world, I was thinking of the next chance I would get to go in, what I would do, say, write, who I would be with, etc. I did not feel connected to my life. There was one particular time when I remember actually feeling I wanted to crawl into the computer and stay there rather than be in my real life.

My family vehemently voiced their feelings of neglect. I ignored it and defended my actions, lying to cover up my actions. They had no clue what I was doing in SL (and still don’t; I do not want to hurt them more than I have already). Life is finally getting back to normal as I pursue real life intimacies, challenges, hobbies and social scenes.

You know…it is hard to believe that this could ever happen to ME, being well-educated. The amount of hours spent online equal the work of a post-graduate degree that I could have done instead. BUT, and this is not a justification—I did learn a lot about myself. I called it my mid-life crisis. I am just so grateful now that the crisis part did not become full-blown.

Do I regret it? No. However, I do regret the toll that it took. I now see living online for what it was and is…I was online addicted. Addiction knows no social status boundaries. And what compelled me most was to get my daily fix of feelings that came from the intensity of an online relationship. I once told an online friend this: “We are feeling junkies.” Caroline and Janet are not so different. We can moralize about the neglect of their children and the choices they made all we want, but something is fundamentally not right with each of them. Only they can answer that to themselves…as I did…as anyone who becomes addicted to gaming, to a fantasy world, to online relating and ultimately, to any substance, can.

Quoting a previous comment: "It is a testament to the power of the game that two fairly rational women would turn their backs on their families to pursue this fantasy."

People have turned their backs on their families for various reasons since the dawn of history - they have not always had Second Life to retreat into. Like any other medium, it compels some more than others; for the majority of those that I know it's a positive thing, a communications tool and a creative outlet.

Blaming SL for the behaviour of these people is like blaming the post office or the phone company for making it possible for people to communicate with someone who they can cheat on their partners with and leave their children for. For each user of the medium, it becomes what s/he makes it.

Positive things in SL are many - to name a few: The SL Shakespeare Company, Scilands, the International Spaceflight Museum, Ontario Public Service in Second Life, Relay for Life (which raises tons of money each year for cancer research during Second Life events), countless art galleries and of course, the live music. Google any of the above to learn more. For many, the friends we make and the ideas we share are an enriching experience that does not involve any (real life or second life) behaviours that are hurtful to previous commitments.

Technology tends to accelerate existing behaviors. The bored housewife with 4 kids? Clearly, she would have cheated anyways, simply because her husband is a doormat. The difference is that she can cheat 10 times per day online, instead of going to a seedy hotel.

The biker said he was on his 2nd, 3rd marriage? Ok... so there's a pattern there. SL just provides him with a wider pool for his future exes.

I think everyone in the future will be an avatar. Until now, we were a walking PIN number, a SIN number, a bank account, a binary code... It only makes sense that we would try to humanize our virtual universe by putting a face on it.

I Agree with Angie. These couples disgust me. More so the first couple because I really felt for the husband. Though I do believe he held on to hope for far too long, he should have ended the marriage right after the apparent signs of a poor marriage. The wife abused his kindness and her children's love for her. With the second couple I don't have as great of a hate towards them, but the husband did cheat on his wife and the new wife ditched her own kids! The fact that they spend so much hours on a virtual, life simulator is beyond me. They all fail at life but I guess they knew that.

Come to think of it, don't the really good documentaries have the host unequivocally right in there where it's happening? Wouldn't this have been SO much more a**-kickin' if Hana's avatar had interviewed the other avatars, instead of Hana sitting in a trailer somewhere pursing her lips while somebody pretends to babble authentically? I think I would have been considerably less sceptical if the documentarist had become thus truly engaged, and given those of us who know nothing about SL (which includes me) an honest first-hand tour of at least a tiny piece of the battlefield....

Was this a documentary, or a set-up? It just didn't ring true, despite the affirmation on this board from two of the alleged participants. The picnic in England-- like, who does that authentically with a cameraperson lying in the grass in front of you? I know some kinds of "reality" shows rely on people getting used to having cameras around and not noticing them any more, but that didn't seem to be the case here. These people seemed to be playing for the cameras just a little too often.

Honestly, I felt I was being set up. And Ms Handford's comments in opposition, above (waaay above) seem quite balanced and authentic.

And how long ago was this filmed, and who by? Some commenters have made me wonder....

Dunno, my jury is still out. Good documentary journalism pushes a thin line, and I wonder if this one didn't step a bit over that line.

Janet's abandoned kids... YOU NEED HELP ..I feel so sorry for the kids the family don't know what to say

I have played Second Life for 2 years, and I am 23 years old. The media loves to paint Second Life as a glorified medium for cyber sex and escapism. The people presented in this special are extreme cases, and not representative of the many creative people in Second Life.
I will admit that sex and relationships are a big industry, but people utilize Second Life in as many ways as people utilize the traditional internet. For example, many people can choose to be architects, or artists.
Harvard University has their own architecture department on Second Life.

Very well produced and directed episode, Hana's expression spoke volumes on this topic. I was really amazed that this kind of thing went on but not shocked. I have some experience on the new cyber way of connecting with people, but to see people/parents completely distroy young lives around them with no sense of remorse or regret to seek their own happiness is really disturbing, not to mention in a cartoon way of expression (which was very creatively done). What is the world coming to when we tolerate this behaviour as a friend, family member or general public. I hope "forrest gump" gets his gump back and saves his kids from this hell. I hope the family in the other story continue to be strong to say this is not acceptable, and your happiness is not worth the pain your boys are scared with for life. Thanks for the eye opener and better understanding of what we deal with in "cyber land" I'm happy to stay real.

The NPR (National Public Radio) show Science Friday broadcasts their show live into Second Life every Friday. People from around the world come to listen via Second Life and discuss what they're hearing using open text chat. They can also ask questions, which then get forwarded to the radio host to ask his guests live on the air.

This is an example of a positive use of Second Life - a way to give radio show listeners a better (more social) experience, and also a way to get more audience participation.

Yes, every technology can be used for good or ill. For example, you can use a hammer to hit people in the head, but I don't see The Fifth Estate doing a show on hammer homicides.

The Fifth Estate used to be pretty balanced. What happened? Does this kind of "reporting" get higher ratings, perhaps?

I'll admit to playing second life. I had fun with some friends. Never got in a relationship. The actions in this Doc. is heavily scripted. after playing SL since launch i've come to realize that SL is more buisness centerd. People are constantly buying and selling very few clubs are populated and It's not as perfect as this Doc. shows it to be. Constant bugs riddle Second life and not to mention Griefers (don't ask.)

One last thing the women Janet. She is the most horrible selfish women i have ever had the misfortune of hearing about what kind of women abandons friends, Family, Even their own children! Just for their own enjoyment!

P.S Thank you screwattack.com for informing us about this Doc.

I watched your program about Second Life last night as I have belonged to it for over a year now. It seems every time someone in the media does a program or report on SL, it always has to be the negative part of it. I wont disagree that there are people that only go there for one reason romance or sex as it is suppose to be a adult place. But there is also alot of us that enjoy going there for friendships.. the live music, that runs 24/7. Being a divorced, working mother of 3 children, my time is very limited. Where else can a person sit in their comfort of their own living room and listen to real musicans from around the world and chat with friends. Yes its a fake world, but the person behind the avatar is real. Unfortunately always the negative things that happen in Second Life are the only thing that media tends to take interest in. Why dont you check out a different side of Second life, the music!!! check out Music Hall of Fame, owned by Bringiton Paine. There are over 300 musicans listed in this hall, folk, jazz, pop, classical, rock, classical rock, country and many more. Please come and take a listen.. you wont be disapointed... aka Valan

Usual response - o horror - o immorality - o the children. all the usual triggers. we live there now so get used to it. real life is so awful right now let people find love where they can. beats a singles bar

I am truly disappointed in the poor level of journalism in this story. Did you do any other research into "SL" before airing your show? Did you interview any other residents in "SL?" Although I do not agree with the actions the 2 portrayed in your piece took, I disagree with the way you showed it.

Second life is not all about sex and affairs. As so many before me have pointed out, There are many talented people in "SL" that are there to design, create, make music, build, run businesses, and so much more.

Also, it's not falling in love with a "Cartoon" as you so very un-eloquently stated. You are not attracted to the avatar, you are attracted to the personality of the person behind the avatar.

I suggest for your next piece maybe you should actually venture into and get to know some of the residents. You will soon realize that it is not all about "SEX" as you so portrayed. I personally attended the after election party for Obama after he won the election, which btw, was help in "SL." Something I never would have been able to do in "RL."

Show the true side to Second life. The side where it's a new canvas for artist's and musicians. Where it is a new platform for businesses to hold meetings, where they once would have had to spend thousands of real dollars to travel to get to a corporate meeting, can now be held in "SL" for little costs, where Harvard, Yale, and countless other Ivy league collages have campuses in "SL" where you can attend classes, a place where you can attend a debate on "RL" economics, politics, news, and countless others.

However, now, because of your portrayal of "SL" I now get to look forward to mass influx of "Noob's" flocking to "SL" thinking of it as a place where they can have sex with anyone at any time. So, yeah, thanks for that. I will send them your way when they get shot down time after time and reported for abuse for harassing the residents who are there for better reasons other then sex.

SL Resident,
Vy

I recently watched the Stranger in Paradise piece on the fifth estate and I was actually very disgusted with the people being profiled. These people act like they have it so bad, like their lives are so boring or meaningless. When you consider that people half way around the world don't even know if they'll eat from day to day, or if they will end up a victim in the cross fires of war it kind of puts life into perspective and makes me feel that my life isn't so bad. The people that were profiled have kids and spoused who love them, and they neglect and ignore them for a damn video game. There are people in the world that would love to have children but can't for whatever reason, or would love to have a nice family to go home to every night. I just think that the people playing these games need serious help because they have obviously taken their lives for granted and need a reality check. I irony of all of this is so sad that it's almost too crazy to discuss. I think the people playing these games should be ashamed of themselves for being so selfish that they sacrafice their loved ones physical and emotional needs for their own selfish fantasy world.

I too was caught up in the fantasy of Second Life (SL), and it was almost too wonderful to believe....meeting individuals who actually cared deeply for you. It is unfortunate that marriages come to an end....but the Second Life infatuations in the documentary were only a symptom of troubled marriages. If the marriages were strong and stable, then these women wouldn't have needed to seek human connection elsewhere.

The woman from Calgary found love in a Domination/submission (D/s) relationship (evident by the owner's collar that she wore). The D/s fantasy-lifestyle is very popular in Second Life....although I don't know why. It is more prevalent in SL than in the real world. It was through SL that I found out that I myself was draw to the D/s lifestyle and, through the courage I found on SL, I sought out the lifestyle community in my city. I have never looked back...although I am no longer on SL...as it was only a game, really. But, how many games will help you discover something wonderful in yourself? SL does that.

I am one of those who frequent Second Life. And, I see that you are presenting scenarios this evening regarding the lives of two women who, for whatever reason, jumped over the fence from Second Life into Real Life (as we put it...!)
Fundamental to SL is a concept of being able to meet people in a "safe" environment - that is behind an avatar with relative anonymity thus allowing the possibility of conversation without initial social judgment or chemistry. How intriguing it is to have a "down to earth" discussion early and saying and revealing things that might be said on first encounter in a real life situation.
In this day and age, many people (especially women) have lost touch of the core issues in their relationships - that of communication, understanding, intimacy, and a sense of respect and love. Thus, over time, Second Life provides a channel that begins to provide the above. If the idea the "Love is a function of communication" falls true; Second Life provides the ultimate forum is which love can grow without outside bias. One can explore deeper issues as is needed in any relationship to delve into areas not spoken in a real life situation. Having a avatar running around buying clothes, looking young, going to dances, going to theater, and participating in real life subjects across a wide spectrum of interests truly creates the life style most of wish for and can't seem to attain.
Some relationships find compatibility, intimacy, and a common sense of values. This generates the real life curiosity of meeting someone beyond the reaches of Second Life.
True, fraught with suspicion, the potential downside is relevant but, in most cases, each SL couple have already gone way beyond just the avatar stage by internet messaging, online voice, and, in some cases, meeting each other in real life.
What Second Life provides is nothing more than an extension of the social networking already in place such a Myspace.com, Facebook.com, and any number of web sites generated sole for the purpose of meeting people. This is simply an outcrop of dating - we have a new tool in the age of technology - it allows us to get to know each other before any physical encounter and to explore deeper issues not dealt within the standard of real life dating experience. For every SL relationship that has explored a real life encounter, there are dozens and dozens which have simply dissolved in the normal course of any dating situation; without the pain and suffering of the aftermath of extricating ourselves from a bad romance in real life.
I hope that your show shows the outcome of a Second Life relationship that has had a positive outcome.

I loved the show I didn't know what to expec when I was told it was going to be on. I alos am in SL and have been there almost 1 year. I also met a woman on there from the USA and we have been together twice to this date. It is planned for her to visit here in july. I also am waiting for the 1 year period to file for a divorce.. I am happier than I can remember. Second Life is a great escape even if you are not looking for love. the handicap people who are confined to wheel chairs or their beds are able to experience things that anyone can in SL.. I hope many more people that have waited to make a change in their life can do it , it feels wonderful.. And really there is no difference between SL and all the other dating sites, we all are looking for something wether its out of boredom or a need to fufill that is stronget than any chains that could be used to hold us someplace we are not happy.

the funny thing is my spouse and I play second life. I admit we play a little too much. we aren't partnered in with each other or anyone at least not for long, we just do our own thing. we do have a child and our computers are in the liveing room where we interact with her and take care of her. while I admit we play too much its not to the point where the kid is emotionaly neglected.

the problem with shows like this is they don't tell the whole story. there could have been problems long before sl. people don't just suddenly walk out and leave. I mean geeze they don't even tell us Dutch was recovering from medical procedures. Dutch had to tell us that. So we're all judgeing everyone based on distorted evidence.

there could have been child custody disputes. the husband with the mom holed up in the bedroom could be doing the best he can to weither his family through this. its not our lives, we were showen a smidgen. what would our lives look like if a journalist showed the world some of it?

as much as I feel for the kids and the ex, I can also relate to Ten's need to be happy. there are times where I feel I'm being taken advantage of like what happens to me isn't as important as what happens to other people. so, sorry I judged you guys before.

oh and people lay off the dog collar, its friggen cool.

I want to thank Christine Handford for her comments on the positive things about SL. I realise that the Fifth Estate has a certain amount of time to cover a topic - and I believe you did cover very well the sadness that can come from relationships ruined (either wholly or in part) by new relationships formed in SL - but "fair is fair" and I appreciated hearing some of the positive aspects of SL.

what's wrong with these women , there's enough house work for the dirty one to keep her busy for a while she should drop down and ask her family's forgiveness. Take a look in the mirror you are no barbie you are not even a good mother or wife . Get yourself a job , diet, new hair cut and color, that should help ,the one with the dog colar you are crazier then the other one for leaving your kids you should be ashamed of yourself.. i am sure your kids and family are. The colar looks good on you but chaps don't

Very interesting show. I agree with the majority here who think that emotionally investing in ANY person, whether on-line or off, is REAL. We are emotional beings who interact. That's no game. When and where one 'crosses the line' fluctuates from person to person. Lines are crossed all the time, both in RL and on-line. It is part of the seductive and alluring pleasure of it all, be it casual 'flirting' at the office or at the post office/grocery store, or all out 'cyber sex' in SL. And yes, 'crossing that line' is definitely 'cheating'. Let's not kind our Selves here.

People on-line are looking for 'outlets' for their imaginations, fantasies and personalities. The on-line 'sphere' can be an intoxicating place that allows one to explore these realms without immediate 'fear' of condemnation or consequence. For sure, it demands little REAL effort and is mostly 'free'. And yes, addiction is rampant. People who have 'lifeless', 'boring', 'draining', 'constrictive' and/or even abusive RLs, seek escape, adventure and 'holi-daze'. They want 'out' and SL and their offshoots offers an 'in' to a 'fantasy'.

I'm not condoning any of it, I just think it is very much a sign of the times for a certain type of person who EXISTS more fully 'on-line' then in RL.

What 'disturbed' me most was the lifeless zone of the RL HOME environment as depicted with those couples. The mum was 'plugged in', the sons were 'plugged in' in the other room, the 'daughter and dad' were watching t.v. ... ALL of them were 'plugged in' to their own 'modules' in one form or another. That was the disturbing part, cuz as much as the internet and television can enhance communications and provide 'entertainment', they also isolates us profoundly, especially when everyone is watching 'alone'.

The closing shot of the couple together who continue 'their life' with their on-line personas while sitting beside each other as she giggles and types, and he grandly puffs on a cigarette and types, was just too SAD, ODD and WEIRD for words. She says she is happy now, but I hope she got the part where he says he's treated his RL 'ex-wives' with scorn and contempt. Note: wives. This guy's a oaf - LOOK AT HIM girl. He's an OAF.

Heaven help the children. Neil Postman said it best, 'we're amusing our Selves to Death' ...

My wife and I met 10 years ago on PALACE, the fore runner of 2nd life.
After 2 years of spending time together there, we got married online.
A year later we met in real life and got married again, this time for real.
7 years later we are still happy and in love.
You see, it's not ALL bad.
However, this is no place for married people. The heart aches this game can cause are very real.
The psychological impact this game can have can be overwhelming.
Actually, it's no game at all. That's why it's called 2nd life.

Those of you who sing the praises of Second Life have nodoubt already been lost to your families. SL started out as a great education site, hubby shared his new sites until he enter new terrain....virtual sex. finding your husband having virtual sex with some hottie on SL when he claims he is just learning the game is a shock..a stake through the heart would be no worst. For those of you who say well she must be a cold hearted bitch who doesn't share her husband's sex drive that's just not so..this is a sick society that lures people into believing that such behaviour is ok. SL has wrecked many homes and causes otherwise good induvaduls to turn into cheating liars.
My husband claims it's just a game...well 16-18 hours a day is not a game when you shut your family out, lie to your wife and tell her it's none of her business.

Strangers in Paradise, really got me thinking last night. Maybe my opinion lacks experience for my age. I see both sides of the story, and can see how these women fell for this fake world: DEPRESSION. When the life you have seems pointless and trivial. Yet, I am a firm believer that you have to sleep in the bed you make. These women have children and should be their until these kids become adults. Second life should only be an escape if and only if you do not have any responsibility.
People should understand that this is not a real world and that the people you meet are not always who you think they are. Finally, the amount of joy this game can bring equates the amount of pain it can bring.

I think it's fine to find love online. It's dangerous, but if you find love, good for you.

However, cheating and neglecting your children are inexcusable. Children ALWAYS come first. ALWAYS.

I found the story on SL really thought provoking. During my nearly 25 years of marriage, I always defined cheating as a physical act and resented it when family and friends suggested that once you are married, you can not have an emotionally intimate relationship with any unrelated person of the opposite sex. Others suggest that it is only harmful when you compromise your relationship to your spouse. This story really goes to the core of how we relate to each other and I am still searching for the boundary between acceptable and not acceptable.

I really enjoyed the watching Strangers in Paradise. I have been a SL member for almost 2 years. Yes I am getting a divorce and yes I met a man through 2nd life.
I however had ended my marriage after only being on 2L for two weeks. My marriage of almost 9 years had really ended before I even set foot in SL. Talking to the man in 2L (whom I'm with now in RL)just confirmed that I was unhappy and I deserved to be better treated and loved.
Please note that the man whom I'm with in RL now did not know my true identity before I made my decision to offically tell my husband it was over. I only revealed who I really was after the fact I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I had decided I was better off on my own regardless if I ended up with the man from 2L or not. The man I was with in RL was emotionally abusive, never helped out around the house, not once in our marriage did we ever have a vacation away with just the two of us. I wasn't allowed to continue having relationships with male friends from my past. My husband's family never accepted me into their family , etc..I could go on and on...The bottom line was we just existed in the same house, we both weren't living.
Like it or not we are a computerized world, and I have personally found there are wonderul people in 2L and amazing graphics. 2L as in RL it's what you make it.
While I do have children from my RL marriage 2L has not caused me to abandoned them, or neglected the care of them or the house hold. As everything is in life balance is of most importance.
The man whom I had met in 2L and am with has treated and loved me and my children as we should be. He moved across the country to be with me and my children. We do things together and with the children as I had always pictured a family to do. 2L has brought me true love and happiness and for that I am thankful for.

I'm just so upset and disgusted with the women and their obvious neglect for their children. They should be ashamed!

It's one thing to join in a game like "Second Life" and be someone else for a while, it's fun. But it is totally another to use the game to "hook up" with someone else while you're married with children.

As for the husband comparing himself with Forest Gump? What kind of role model is he being for his sons? He's basically saying that its okay to have a wife that virtually sleeps with another man on-line and visits him in another Country. Just take it and wait at home like a good boy. Kick her to the curb for pete's sake!

Thanks,
Angie

I watched this show with my daughter who has a friend and her Mother plays this game. Of course people who play the game will defend it as I saw on posts here today.As mentioned on the program one player said he was not sexually stimulated , I find that VERY hard to believe. I do believe that it can and will cause damage to a marriage that most likely can not be repaired.If I as a mother of 3 was to play this game , my husband would see it as cheating on him as I would think the same if he played it.The internet can be a good thing in ways but over the years I have seen the damage it has done to my daughters through internet bulling ..it can be a VERY dangerous place, with very dangerous outcome. I hope your program has opened the eyes of many people as it has mine! Even my daughter sat there with her mouth wide opened when the woman left her children to be with this man. She said..she is SELFISH! I agree!
Thank you
KF

I don't have children but if I did, I find it very hard to believe that I would dump them for some overweight, smoking, old guy on a harley in the US. When you have children I believe you give up your rights to be #1 and their needs must always come first...at least until they are old enough to be out on their own. Come on people! Get a life! A real life...with it's up and downs and all the joy and pain you can take. That's what life is. Good, bad and otherwise. Life is what you make of it. My heart goes out to the broken hearted spouses and children of the idiots in this piece.

There is so much more to SL than recent stories have depicted. There are some incredibly talented people in the virtual playground. Live music for one, the artists are incredible. I have a great RL and I enjoy my time in SL, chatting with some great people I have met along the way and listening to some awesome music. I would love to see a show about the live music scene within SL.

I think there are a lot of people here who are for shaming the women, the men who get their lives caught up on MMORPG's and are forgetting that while yes their behaviour is not great, that they are still human beings. Perhaps the reason for putting such content on the air is to help show people how life can get away from someone and they can get caught up in a virtual world, not to hear the judgement of others.

Honestly i'm sure we've all spent time doing something we shouldn't for long periods of time at one point or another. However with MMORPG it seems to go to the extreme.

For those who are suffering, who feel like they are alone, please find gamerwidow and join or the online anon gamers forums. You are not alone, and not all hope is lost.

The SL part is really nicely filmed.
Congrats to the people who had the courage to find and follow what makes them happy despite what the herd thinks.

I watched your show last night , and I just wanted to say there is alot more to Second life than love affairs and sex . There are Educators from universities and schools on SL ,Major corp have sims on sl to hold meetings etc , there are live musicians from all over the world you can hear live they stream into second life and we can hear them like they were in your own living room , its amazing , There are businesses on sl too . I personally go on for the music and to build stuff and meet people from other parts of the world , its very interesting . Second life is a fascinating virtual world with lots to offer . Your show was great but tha'ts just a small part of what Second life is about..... come back and check out the live music scene , there are some amazing talanted musician/song writers playing every day on there .I just don't want your viewers to think all Second life is about is sex and love affairs because thats wrong , its way more than that................ Secondlifer Shelley :)

I watched the show and I am appalled at what video games are out there and the time people spend in a day and night playing them. The woman who left her children and family from Calgary after playing this game, totally selfish (and deep down she knows it as a mother) saying it is her time to be happy! Happiness is now leaving your children for a video game hook up. That is totally sad and it will be interesting to see when she wakes up and realizes truly what she has done, wow regret with a capital R. I am not saying she does not deserve to be happy but!!! I am a 57 year old woman and certainly grateful that I am the age I am because what is out there today in the media and the internet, well, Scarry! Really scarry! To the family that this woman left behind, she did you a favour, she needs HELP!!!

14 hours a day on the computer........4 children.....what a winner! She puts motherhood to shame.....get up off your backside an be a participant in the real world

I have been an active member of Second Life for 5 years now and I find it amazingly curious as to why the media only reports on the negative aspects that involves breakups of families.

These 2 situations might be abundant in Second Life, but keep in mind the other online structures such as eharmony or match.com, etc etc also have the same outcome.

Second Life is NOT dedicated to match making and/or breaking up fammilies. Just as any interactive venue, the opportunities are there.

People primarily go to Second Life out of curiousity ... now because of the media coverage and because it's fun and exciting and depending on what you are involved in while you are logged in, can be a great source of entertainment - be it romantic or otherwise.

Also, as a side note, this very piece was aired on BBC and would have been nice to see it have Canadian content which is current and not years old. This is our Canadian Broadcast Company afterall.

My husband and I watched this show with our mouths wide open in shock. The neglectful mother and wife who doesn't seem to see anything wrong with what she's doing and how she is destroying her family? Unbelievable. The passive husband that enables her to do this? There are no words.
This provoked a lot of discussion between us on where we think the limits are in fantasy and reality and their effects on a relationship. Thanks for the food for thought and eye opener.

I thought it was interesting that one of the participants said that she didn't consider the virtual sex cheating. The other said that sex is 95% "in the mind" - I guess that works out to 95% cheating? That's probably enough to crush your real life partner's heart.

People in relationships that are already in perid should avoid this "game" like the plague - but the irony is that those in unhappy relationships are the most likely to be attracted to virtual escape world in the first place.

It would be interesting to see statistics on the number of relationships that have received the final death blow as a result of a spouse or partner spending most of their time in a virtual world, instead of interacting and working to fix the problems in the real world.

In any human social endeavor there will be a negative aspect. SecondLife is no different in that way. But imagine going into a real life city and focusing on the small percentage of crime and poverty and totally ignoring the universities and museums...the art galleries...the cafes...the concert halls. All of this and much more can be found in this online "community". It serves as a very effective communication platform...a tool for creative individuals..."inworld" architects, artists,and musicians. Many institutions are using the platform for meetings and seminars.
I would love to see a followup story on the potential of this and similar mediums to bring individuals together and the benefits to creative thought and communication that are possible through them.

My husband and I couldn't believe what we were seeing last night. I think its just really really sad. Fantasy is one thing, but letting something like that take over your life is a completely other thing. Why not just do the things you want to do in this life?? You can still do things that are enjoyable even if you don't have a lot of money. I think this game has the potential to ruin many lives with its addictive nature.

Hanna and FE crew,

I have been playing in the SL environment for close to 3 years, and very much enjoying the experience. And, yes, relationships, emotions and even sex are all part of that experience. But these activities also form part of other MMORPGs as well as RL (real life). So there in lies the fun part of the SL experience. By no means is Second Life a replacement for my RL, though I have met some who do think so, and your program last nite does show 2. But I dare say these are the exceptions. With over 12 Million ( not 2.5 as stated in the piece!) participants in the SL environment (though only 60,000 to 70,000 online at any one time), SL can be a passing fad for some, a lifeline for others. My most touching SL experiences were with the physically handicaped, people confined to wheelchairs, beds, who within the SL "world" become fully mobile and can interact with other people without a jaundiced eye. Wonderful to chat with these people and learn how they have blossomed in their sl "world".

Oh, just thought you would like to know that I was introduced to SL by the CBC. Whilst in Calgary a few years ago, listening to one of your afternoon radio shows, I learned of this strange new online environment from one of the CBC's reporters who couldnt stop gushing about how "cool" and "fun" it was, and that even the sex appeal factor was enticing more people to sign up. Wow, sex sold 3 years ago, and sex in SL still sells today. Amazing!

Cheers!!

Giovanni Ge (SL resident, RL canuck)

I cannot believe she left her children behind! What a selfish person.
I started off with sympathy for her until it all came out. What goes around, comes around!
You'd think that once they had each other, they wouldn't need the game anymore.

That was truly a sad story. Here you have people who are clearly not happy in their "real" lives and instead of dealing with their issues they chose to "escape" to "the game". I feel for their spouses and families who suffered due to these "players" inability to cope with issues in the real world. They deserve to be with each other in "second life" and in all honesty it appears their spouses and families are better off without them.

In short, theses people seem to lack coping and communication skills and truly deserve each other. Have fun in the make believe world folks.

Watching this episode was like watching my life unfold. When I heard this program was going to air, I sent the info to all my friends who have been affected by my wife's addiction to her game. I thnk a lot of people think I was exaggerating about the problem but this show has brought the reality to the situation. I thank Anna Gardner for doing this program because this is a reallife (not virtual issue). My wife (a well educated, beautiful women)said I was blowing it out of proposrtion. The reality was she spent over ten hours a week day (and she works) and aver 18 hours on a weekend on the game for months. She even had her computer blocked at work for playing there. I am no longer with her but she still plays the same amount. She has a new job because she was going to be fired.I am in the process of setting up a new life that will be a more normal situation for my two girls age 15 and 12 who still live in this septic environment with their mother. I am hoping they choose to live with me. If this program was aired a couple of year's ago it may have helped us all out. I hope it is an eye opener for people who are experiencing the nightmare that still continues for me and my kids.

Greg

Thought not exactly the same, I was unsatisfied in my relationship with a woman, and while bored at home, turned to chatting on the internet. I was NOT looking for anyone at the time, but I met a woman who just captivated me... we talked for hours the first time we met, and I couldn't help but want to chat with her more and more...

I eventually left the woman that I was involved with and traveled overseas to meet the woman of my dreams. And it was the most perfect time I've had in my life. A very lucky accidental meeting. We now plan to marry.

You did a very good job of portraying the dark side of SL. That is very real and does happen. But generally there are 40 to 75 thousand people playing from around the world and most are not involved with what you displayed. There is alot of good in SL. I have met others from around the world and made some great aquaintences.
I was surprised you did not show the presence or religions and education that exist in sl. Even the the latest US election was present and campaigned in the world of second life.
I suppose none of those things would draw viewers quite like sex and heartbreak. I expect Second Life will become busier now since your show as others will now be curious. Perhaps I will meet some new people I may call friend as a result. Thank you!

The people shown here are seriously flawed. The husband is far too lenient with his selfish wife who closes the bedroom door to carry on a vitual affair with a stranger she eventually has to meet. Who paid for her trip to meet her online lover?

The other woman is so emotionally needy she abandons her children for a physical relationship with the biker. Both apparently have nothing else to do but sit in front of their computers and let others earn a living and care for their homes and children. Her biker has already been married several times, and I expect this marriage to fail. Did she leave her kids behind because he didn't want them around? Shame on her!

The online relationship addicts are selfish, the wife was correct to divorce her husband, and the woman's husband should either set down some rules or leave and take the kids with him. She has abandoned the family whle still enjoying free room and board. A court would surely grant him custody and give her scant spousal support.

These woman need to get a grip. They're in danger of losing everything for comic book characters.

The documentary reflects loneliness in an uncaring, insecure, complex and fast-paced society as well as disappointment in personal relationships. At first I thought the online relationships were bizarre, even sick. As children (before television) we acted out scenarios with paper dolls and put on impromptu skits in school and scouts. We weaved ghost stories at pajama parties and around beach fires at night. We all have an inner life throughout life. I prefer our youthful outlets.

I wonder how these people manage to have the time to play out their fantasies and the money to purchase virtual goodies and for travel. I can't imagine how virtual sex can be a satisfactory substitute for the real thing. Couples counseling and talking out frustrations may help. In any case, the husband is enabling his wife in an activity that has become a vice. She has abandoned him and their children and neglected household chores. He should insist she contribute her fair share to the functioning of the family. If he leaves with the kids forcing her to earn her own living, she'll learn what real suffering feels like.

On the other hand, I've always lost myself in reading, and in retirement I spend countless hours doing crossword and jigsaw puzzles online. Mine may be a different way to escape in kind but not in degree.

actually now that I seen the entire video, i take back my intial comment. its not romatic. I feel for the ex. she shouldn't have had to join sl to get affection from her spouse. but this break up would have happened eventually weither or not there was a video game involved. people cheat. they drift apart from their spouses and go find someone else.

I enjoyed watching your story about "Second Life".

If the medium is the message, then the message here must be a sad commentary on the state of the emotional lives of the people involved.

On the other hand, these "games", do tend to keep these people, staring at their own navels, and keep the "real" world uncluttered for the rest of us. :)

I know "Dutch" and "Tenaj" in the game Second Life, and I have always wished for what they found. I have had several relationships, and even went overseas as well to meet the man I fell in love with on the game. There are those who scoff at the thought of finding love through a game, but it really does happen... but then again you also can experience extreme heartbreak too. I have felt all the range of emotions through it, love.. heartbreak.. grief.. and love again. Currently I am working on a new relationship.. with plans to take it into "RL" (real life). I work hard in-game, and I'm sure there are times that I do spend far too much time there.. but like anything else, you just have to learn to balance everything. I'd just like to give my kudos to Rick and Janet (aka Dutch and Tenaj) for their bravery, their perserverance, and determination.. you guys are our lighthouse of Beek Haven, our lighthouse on the stormy seas of love in SL.. our inspiration!

After watching "Strangers in Paradise", I could not help but to feel sorry for the children who are abandoned by their mothers when engaging in and seeking out "virtual relationships" in search of happiness. If only the mothers invested in their children's "real life relaitonships" as "mothers". Perhaps their children's lives would be enriched with their love that could last a lifetime. If only these mothers would give their children the amount of time, interest and energy that they invested toward cyber fantasy.
I also could not help but to feel sorry for the two women, to have to resort to such behavior in their belief that others have happier lives when they do "this" or have "that". Maybe others are happier in some instances but I do not believe that everyone lives in "fantasy". I think these two women had too much time on their hands because when I was raising my three children, while i worked full-time or studied college courses full-time, I had to make time to use the computer when absolutely necessary for class. All other time was spent getting the children ready for the next day, cooking, housework, laundry, shopping, taking the children to swimming, skating, tae kwan do and dancing lessons, also took them to parks, beaches, movies, restaurants, church, and volunteered at their school. As a family, we went on trips to British Columbia and Ontario, and within the province of Alberta.
As a woman, I participated in women's talking circles, took courses in Christopher Leadership, public speaking, self-esteem, job search, anger management and parenting courses and I sought out counsellors when I felt the need to do so. Women will not stray from the normalcy of life when they invest in themselves and in their children.

I find it rather sad that a married woman could be that lonely to be taken in to such a fanasty world and bring such trauma to her children's lives. Some day she'll be saying "what was I thinking?"

I would be curious to know how many relationships have ended because of social networking sights such as myspace and facebook?
Strangers in paradise sparked feelings in me that reminded me of a failed relationship.

I truly believe that if my ex didn't have a myspace account and access to other social networking sites, we would still be together today.

It is emotional betrayal.
When you are interacting with people online... you aren't interacting with the people who are there in the here and now... in the flesh!

At least no one would have sexually transmitted diseases!
Cyber sex is safe sex... but that doesn't dismiss the emotional heartache that can come from this type of betrayal.

I think these women should be ashamed of themselves. They have sacrificed their children's childhood for their own enormously selfish pursuits. What kind of mother in their right mind leaves their young children for some virtual reality GAME? It is sick and it won't be long before AA welcomes virtual reality addicts, onboard with alcoholics, drug addicts, and gambling addicts into their help groups. Because any parent that puts themselves first and foremost before their children needs some serious help. Janet, in particular, is an embarrassment to her family. I know. She is my cousin.

I discovered SL a month after I retired, almost 3 years ago and was swept up by the fun, the imagination, the creativity of the game. Little by little I got seduced to the point where I was playing from 8 to 10 hours a day. I think this disturbed my family because emotionally I was "somewhere else". Many people play to create - the landscapes, the animations, the buildings. You can find the Louvre, Ancient Greece, outer space - truly the sky is the limit. The creativity is breathtaking. And where else can I bar hop all night, listen to live blues from Australia and be cute and sexy as all get out !
But I quit about 7 months ago when I realized there were movies to see, books to read - a good real world. But I have total sympathy and understanding for anyone who gets caught up in it. It may be a fantasy cartoon, but believe me, the emotions are REAL.

I look forward to other comments from players and explayers although I think players would rather play than think about the time they are spending there. I wish them all well.

I have long been interested in virtual worlds as social phenomena, so I was looking forward to seeing "Strangers in Paradise" when I saw adverts for it on CBC. After seeing the episode, I was very disappointed because of the overwhelmingly negative view of Second Life that the Fifth Estate presented. The episode, "Strangers in Paradise" portrays the real world consequences of virtual actions in Second Life, but it leaves viewers with a number of unanswered questions. Are there any positive aspects to Second Life and might they outweigh negative aspects? Is it just a "game", or can users have meaningful experiences in a virtual world? Are the experiences of the interviewees fundamentally new and particular to Second Life, or is Second Life just another thing that can facilitate addiction and hanky-panky? And what actually is Second Life? The Fifth Estate doesn't seem to know.

Second Life isn't a game - it's a user generated virtual world. There is no levels to gain, no goal to reach. Residents of this world are pretty much free to do as they wish, and unsurprisingly behave much as they would in the real world, beyond the occasional flying. Residents socialize, create things and trade them. The in game currency, the Linden Dollar floats relative to the US Dollar, depending on the volume of economic activity in Second Life. Some users even derive their real world income from virtual activities. None of this was mentioned and instead Second Life was portrayed as some fantasy game that some troubled individuals can't escape.

Virtual worlds can be just as important as the "real" world. People can have experiences that they may attach the same importance as they would to experiences off line. A virtual world does not preclude having meaningful experiences. In other words, it is no less real than anything else one may chose to do.

The actions of the interviewees in "Strangers in Paradise" are not new or particular to Second Life. The causes of the problems lie somewhere else - the real world. Besides, the episode ignores the positive experiences of millions of others who reside in Second Life. I was very disappointed to see such shallow and sensationalistic journalism from something that calls itself the fifth estate, the supposed watchdog of the fourth estate. I've seen better portrayals of Second Life on CSI.

Are these people out of their minds???!!!!!!
Get a grip folks, get a job, + give your heads a shake. These are cartoon characters. How about putting that much time + energy into your real life + perhaps things would improve so you didn't have to use this 'escapism'.These pathetic individuals are giving up everything for a virtual life. How sad. Especially for the families involved. I am just stunned by this.I could hardly believe this story.

Did anyone else wonder why Lee did not have his internet access turned off? I would have removed every computer in the house that would frustrate me so. Poor man.

About Dutch and Ten, who really cares where they met? the point is they met and they are doing good. would we think it was a bad thing if they met through a dateing service or in high school?

I rather think its romatic.

second life is a comunity. if you think of it as just a game you are going to miss out on its best feature, other people.
it wouldn't be fun without the people I hang out with. so what if two of them decided to meet in real life? It works for them.

The internet really has enhanced the ability to pas info and research dat etc both for home and the workplace...but because all sorts of info and games are available 24hrs in a day..it really has created a real problem in some peoples's lives
Some people are using this tech to communicate with loved ones fron far distances and that is awesome, and then there are others who are using the game rooms, to escape the real life situations....there is nothing wrong with fun in moderation...but what about those who are left behind....family friends etc, because you have been playing games for the past 13-14 hours a day.
The gane seems to be filling that void that seems to missing in your life or relationship...but really isn't it just an advoidance of your real life problems...there are real people out there, from all age groups with real gaming addiction problems, trying to fill that void that is missing

I am a father of two -- currently going through a divorce because of the my addiction to Second Life. When my wife found out what I was doing, she kicked me out of the house and filed for divorce less than 10 days later.

I have since left Second Life, and had a close friend "lock" me out of my accounts. Yet my wife refuses to let me come home and does not wish to go to marriage counseling. I only wish she had the same capacity to forgive as the husband in the documentary (Lee) had for forgiving his wife (even after she went to England to meet with her online lover). I hope the wife in the documentary understands just how lucky she is to have such a spouse in real life.

One question about the documentary -- I found that it conspicously lacked any comment from Linden Labs (the company that owns Second Life) -- in fact, there was no mention of the company at all. Further, every written mention of "second life" here on the web site (and I believe during the broadcast) is in lowercase letters -- an interesting (and I'm sure deliberate) choice on the part of the Fifth Estate writers.

It would be great to hear from someone at Fifth Estate as to the lack of comment from -- or about -- Linden Labs, and the lowercase usage of "second life."

Thank you.

I'm still saying: What? ...What? No way. What? It's been a very long time since I've been so shocked.

Addiction seems to be common. Some are addicted to interior decoration, renovations, fashion, blackberries, work, etc. No addictive substances required.

With all due respect, these people are sick and obviously need more than a computer game to sort their issues out.
I truly feel sorry them.
How can they live with themselves?
People who are truly happy don't ball their eyes out on t.v. and talk about leaving their families behind.
TWISTED!

Overall not too badly done. :) There are a few parts which need to be corrected and clarified:

* Ten did buy an island for Dutch. However it was not a desert island. It was created and landscaped to look like southern Alberta...with a huge log cabin not a mansion.

* "His life in the real-world was sitting in a pair of shorts and T-shirt in front of the computer for 17 hours a day". No argument. But when one is suffering medical issues and recovering from surgery, it is about all one can do.

* Sue did not divorce Ric - other way around. Sue walked out and was shortly thereafter served divorce papers from Ric.

* "Dog Collar"? Maybe Hana should have asked what that collar symbolized.

This show was fascinating! Not for those of us that play Second Life, but for those of us that just don't get the addiction to a site like Second Life. Don't these people have a life? Obviously there is something lacking in their real lives that they turn to this fanatasy world- one where you don't have to do situps to have good abs or work hard be able to afford to have a mansion! This show is taking over the education world too- Universities and colleges all over the world have Second Life sites that they use to teach "online" classes. Instead of just messaging, they "talk" to each other's avatars in a virtual classroom. Do you really think that this will enhance learning? There was a presentation at an IT conference recently by an educator that was old in real life but had a beautiful young avatar that she used to teach classes and meet people within this virtual world. What happened to email?? People's lives are being ruined by sites like this! I have a friend that talks about Second LIfe actually being his REAL SECOND LIFE! What was good about your show as well was the fact that you highlighted the sexual aspect to Second Life. That question was asked at this IT conference and the presenter just brushed that question aside as if it was a non-issue! It is adultry and cheating in every sense of those words! I just don't get the attraction to something like this! I guess I have a wonderful husband to talk to and 3 kids that I love to play with- I don't need to go seeking this out on a screen and keyboard!

I just watched "Strangers in Paradise". It's amazing how many self-deluded people there are in the world. One good thing about the internet, though: I think it's helping all of us understand that infidelity begins looong before two people stand face to face with their clothes off. P.S: I wonder how Janet's kids feel about being the price their mother paid for her "happiness"?

I am very dissapointed that all that was fucused on was the negative here,,,, I am an old-timer in Second Life, been playing since November of 2006 .. Yes this stuff happens, but there is soooooo much more that you did not mention,,,,, What about the agoraphobics (become confined to his or her home) that cannot step foot outside their homes in RL(real life) , but have found dear friends and are actually then able to start working on the RL ...
I have a biker bar in the game,, and I met a man a long time back , that had been a rl rider his whole life, happily married,, was in a motorbike accident and lost a leg.. he was unable to ride, to take his wife dancing , to work,, he became so depressed he was near suicide,,, one day , he heard about second life,, and made an avie,, he explored for a few days, had his wife come watch, she made an avie also, with-in weeks, they were out riding virtual motorbikes, dancing in romantic jazz clubs, he was able to take her sky diving, every thing and more that he 'thought' he would never do again, they hung out with us at my bar for some time,, then , slowly , I didn't see them log in for a while, was worried, (you get very attached to people in this world) he logged in one day ,, I IM'd (instant messeged) him immediately.. "are you two ok ?"... He was soooo happy , he had ordered a prosthetic leg, had been doing therapy , and had taken his wife dancing RL !!!! Can that be as bad as the stereotype this episode of your show portrayed ???
I met a wonderful woman that was attacked in rl , very disfigured, never left the house, in SL she is a confidant, beauitul woman that has oceans of friends, that "know of her rl" but because people are sooo open in communication in game ,, she is never judged on her appearance , but on her personality and friendship...
Now I am not saying that what you portrayed does not exist,,, but that is completelty CHOICES..
There is sooo much more in this game and world ...
I am a builder in SL, I have built entire islands, I have been in realestate,, rented out land for people to build their own virtual homes and lives,, I have had staff in my bar, paid them , hired people, shown people how to get started and how to do things in the game ..
It is a world of experimentation, and yes fantasy, not always erotic...people can experiment things in the virtual world that they would never consider in RL .. skydiving, being blonde rather than brunette, being an exotic dancer , running a business, ..
One Friend referrs to the SL world, as his "Land if what-if" . His description is sooo perfect ...
It is like RL , Choices !!!!! If you are not suppose to 'fool around',,, Don't ...
Some people do feel betrayed, whether even if it is just a "toon cuddling"...
So don't blame the game,,,, blame the player .....
Sincerely yours
Virtually and in Reality,,
Chrissy AKA Krisie =)

It is very sad that these people can't get help to getting on with a 'real life ' - I am amazed how unhappy people are and are persuing on line chats with strangers, on line dating etc., we need help as a society to be able to live in reality I suppose - good to keep us aware as to what is happening in cyber life though -

I couldn't believe this show!
How unreal....literally.

These people were having affairs and emotionally rationalizing it. Thank goodness Hana Gartner looked confused by these peoples actions as I had the same sentiments.

Unfortunately, Second Life is a virtual playground for real-life escapism. If you spend 6,8,10,12,14,16,18 hours a day in Second Life, you are not living the one you were given.

The couple who "found fairytale love" had made this happen at a great cost to others. Children raised without a Mother on hand, and a poor woman who had to contend with seeing her husband "build" sexual experiences that he participated in.

The woman who met her British Second Life lover simply had to much time on her hands in lieu of raising her children properly or actively partaking in her marriage to make that "spark" happen that she so desperately needed. Only saving room to hurt those who actually loved her. She needs to find ways to communicate with her children and husband in fun and loving ways, which is of course, much harder to do then play a game online and get that fulfillment. It is a singular act that burdened others...well at least she could rationalize it to herself.

I feel somewhat saddened that we have found a way through technology to defer our emotions from those around us. Life was good for all those involved, even the woman who had two kids and two jobs, and as the old adage goes "you are about as happy as you make-up your mind to be."

Idleness breeds discontent and while these people were spending long hours as second lifers (and many like them), they were bypassing constructive avenues of life such as volunteering, learning a new skill, spending time with family and friends or working on personal development.

Words almost escape me over this story. Frightening, horrific, appalling, disturbing?

It is a testament to the power of the game that two fairly rational women would turn their backs on their families to pursue this fantasy.

I find it terribly frightening that this "game" could have such a huge impact on a loved one. I also find it surprising that these people could view virtual sex as "not cheating" because there was no physical contact. I think that they all knew the line that they crossed but didn't want to admit it to themselves.

The great tragedy in all of this is that there are marriages being broken, families torn apart, and relationships damaged beyond repair over something so trivial as a video game!

I watched your show tonight on Strangers in Paradise. I was wondering what happened to "Forrest Gump". Did he and his wife stay together after her trip to England?

I have to say I was absolutely astounded by this show. I could not believe the two women that were profiled. I understand the allure of a game and also the addiction, I love playing games on the computer. However, I still function, am a mother to my children, a wife to my husband and work. It is sad that both women had to abandon their life and especially their children to be happy.

This poor husband needs to get a backbone!!!..Any person who still smokes in the house with children shows selfish behavior...she needs a REALITY check!!.. maybe the CYBERSPACE Hotel would make her realize that most people actualy don't have 8-14hrs a day to play on a computer.

Spending time as a "MOM" is not condusive to her children as she is teasing them how to be a "cyber whore"

Holly smokes what is this world coming to. I found the show very interesting, however just as disturbing. I find it difficult to spend 1/2 hr on the computer to read the mail, news and check the sports, before I want to do something with my wife and family. I experienced a real life affair (wife had one with her boss), and right now totally enjoy my "second life" in real life, with my second wife.

Once you start to have feelings for someone else whether you use a "second life" or real life, you have crossed the line. If you don't think you are hurting someone...try being on the other side, how would you feel!!! It is not just your spouse, but there are kids and family members to consider.....

Just a thought!!!!

You were telling my story tonight. I was the wife who lost her husband to his Second life PARTNER. This was his way of dealing with our problems - total escape. I wish you could have offered some help for us - talking to therapists don't help because this is such a new thing. A new kind of devastation. Add to the ususal trauma of a divorce having it be via a game - some find it that much more humiliating. These people did what they did to be happy. WELL WHAT ABOUT OUR HAPPINESS? For those of us trying to cope and live with this in the real world of the loneliness and loss that this has caused - how do we find it again? I thank God for a strong faith to get me through. But many others are not so lucky. Maybe you should tell their stories sometime - it might help! And what about doing something about these games? Things go on in there and many children are exposed and involved. And the money that is spent - how is that reported and taxed? People need to expose more about this world. This was a start. I hope to see more!

My husband, though not involved in "Second Life" became really close with a "female friend" over the Internet. He swears that they never had sex, indignantly protests that he's "allowed to have friends" - I definitely felt like Sue did, that he spent all of his mental and emotional energy on another woman, when I was "right here" and completely ignored, going to bed alone while he stayed up on MSN. He even went so far as to visit his "friend" several times (like the wife who went to England in your show). I didn't want to forbid these visits, I wanted him to not want them, to respect our marriage, to see how damaging his behaviour was. Yet he insisted that he was "allowed to have friends" even though she was female and single. I stopped wearing my wedding ring in May, when he went on his last visit. He never asked me to put it back on. We separated in December, at his request, and I am heartbroken. I still hope it's merely a "midlife crisis" on his part, I've had counselling, but we haven't been for therapy together (and he hasn't been at all) because I'm waiting for him to make the appointments, which would show me that he really wants to save our marriage. I still love him, but I won't wait forever. It's so difficult for me to accept that, perhaps, he's "just not that into me" anymore, after over two decades of marriage and two children.

Is there a children's Second Life where Janet's abandoned kids can find a virtual mother? Who cares about children when you can hook up with an oft-married biker who clothes you in a dog collar and teaches you to shoot in the desert. Tragic that she has such low self esteem. More tragic for the kids. Of both of those women.

I am all for people having fun and entertainment via their computers but let’s get in touch.
Ruining your marriage and family for cyber fantasy is going too far.
I really feel for the children being left to try and understand this.
In a few years these woman will want to know why the kids want nothing to do with them.

It seems to me that people are just making use of new technology to pursue what they would using old technologies....bars, phone lines....etc.. These people are allowed to delve further into their fantasies and the technology allows it. Naturally, things will occur here that may not have happened in the old ways..like contacting someone in another country, or walk of life..but..I think it is just the same old same old....if a marriage or relationship or life is in flux, people look for change.

You've marred a thoughtful show about an interesting topic by playing weird music all the time. Really - what's with the music? It gives the show a jarring Disney feeling.

wow
I am frightened by these people.
I love Hana's expression through this. (I love you so Hana)
And the forest gump guy....such a REAL good person. Hope he gets out alive

wow.....so scary
dog collar?
left your kids?
for a guy who otherwise laid around in his underwear?

ok
whatever. This should double up with the week the women went.

Typical gutter level coverage - recycled even. this is the 21st century. times have changed so grow up. if you want to know how it is then talk to us who live in Second Life. and Skype and all the others. time to put the old analogue minds out to pasture to go live out their lives and grumble.

I am glad that I caught this program. I have watched a friends marriage deteriorate over the last couple of years. He is still hanging in even though he and the kids have continually complained that her whole life centres on the computer. She seems completely oblivious to the familys concerns and unaware as to how many hours she spends in this fantasy world versus the real world. It doesn't matter that her husband and I have addressed the downside of her obsession with the game, nothing seems to get through. It is an emotional addiction. The fact that, in many cases, the fantasy world can trigger divorce and/or separation of parents from their offspring is a sorry reflection of life as it is today.

I was watching some of the show, Strangers in Paradise.

These people are playing with fire. They are going to blink their eyes, and their children will grown away from them, their marriages are suffering. What kind of fantasy is that.

You have one of your love one struck down with cancer, and then your video games will be a fastasy alright.

Get your head out of the sand. Don't you know what happens when you do that, you get your ass kicked.
Grow up.
We live in the real world. There is enough trouble going on in this world with drugs, and kids being molested, and kidnapped. Their families need them. NOt this fastasy world. Read a good novel.

Thank you, Debbie