Note: You are viewing the unstyled version of CBC.ca because you can not see our css files, or because you do not have a standards-compliant browser or you are a mobile user.
Welcome to CBC.ca
(23:43)| Story Tools: E-MAIL | PRINT | BOOKMARK PAGE | Text Size: |
to
educate parents, children, medical examiners, and school officals
about they dangers of the choking game.
fifth estate associate producer Lynette Fortune: TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT JESSE?
Sharron Grant: Well, Jesse was twelve. He was
very athletic, an A student, the life of this house. He never sat
still. He was going constantly.
TELL
ME ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION YOU HAD WITH HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE HE
DIED.
Sharron Grant: Actually, the summer before he had gone to camp, and when he came back from camp, we talked about the games that he had played at camp and he told me that he had learned how to play this choking game. And I knew it from [when] I was a teen, I had seen it before, and I told him how dangerous and he just said that I was overreacting and he'd never do anything like that.
The night before he died, we had a conversation about going to camp and whether he wanted to go again or not and my sister was there and she asked 'what did you do at camp', he said that all of the jokes they had played and he brought up the choking game. And so I said to him 'why are you bringing this up again are you still doing this?' And he said, 'no, I'm not doing it. But, mom, it doesn't kill brain cells, I asked.' That should have been one of the warning signs his asking the questions.
I said 'I don't know who you asked' and he said, 'someone at school.' I assumed it was an adult at school. And, I'm thinking, well he probably told them, if I fell down on the ground and hit my head and passed out, would I lose all kinds of brain cells? I'm sure whoever the adult was didn't have any indication about what he was asking. I asked him if he was doing it. I think I'm a typical mother thinking that my child is, he's smart and he wouldn't endanger himself like that.
WHEN YOU LOOK BACK, WHAT SIGNS WERE THERE THAT HE WAS PLAYING THE GAME?
Sharron Grant: About a month or two before, Jesse started getting a lot more aggressive in speaking back and yelling and, very aggressive for his nature.
So, we just thought it was going through teens, when I noticed the bloodshot eyes a few times, my first thought was drugs. He takes care of himself. He hates smoking. He hates drugs, and alcohol. It was only a few months before that I noticed the headaches and they were really bad. Those headaches and the eyes and the questions about whether I lose brain cells when I pass out.
TELL ME ABOUT THAT DAY.
Sharron Grant: I found him in his room with a computer cord –we called 911 and tried to, we did CPR on him and we went to the hospital and I think it was like three or four hours later they pronounced him dead.
So, I knew it as soon as I saw him. I just knew that I had made a big mistake, that I should have done something sooner.
WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU SAW JESSE, DID YOU THINK SUICIDE?
Sharron Grant: He was too afraid to die. He was at that age that he wanted to know that we were going to be around forever, how long are you going to live for, how many years, that kind of thing. He was very conscious of that. And, because we had spoken about this the night before, I just knew it when I saw him.
He had too much going for him. He had too much lined up. He just joined the cross-country team. You know, he had joined all kinds of things at school. His brother told me that they had played together. A few other children had come forward and said, that, not that they had played it, but they had talked about it and that he wanted to play with one of them and they didn't want to.
WHAT DID THE MEDICAL EXAMINER RULE IN JESSE'S DEATH?
Sharron Grant: The medical examiner ruled that it was an accident and because of the information that we had, that the choking game was more than likely the cause of it.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR MEDICAL EXAMINERS TO GET IT RIGHT, TO BE ABLE TO, TO IDENTIFY IT AS THE CHOKING RATHER THAN A SUICIDE?
Sharron Grant: Well, I think the thing that's been happening or has happened in the past, it was that when the children come in looking like Jesse did with the circumstances that Jesse had, people, or doctors think immediately that it's a suicide and without all of the information that the parents and friends and schools can give on what the circumstances were around that, then these children are going to continue being classified as suicides and not from this deadly game.
I feel so much guilt just for not doing enough before he died, but to think that my child, was so sad that he had to take his own life has to be another blow on top of that and if the coroners looked at the child's situation, then they could do something to at least relieve some of and not anywhere near as much as we'd like to, but some of the grief that the parents are going to go through.
You know, family and friends all feel guilty and they're getting it right for the medical examiners would help the families, that's for sure. And it would help kids that are still doing it.
From what information I have I would say it's a very popular game. It's more popular than I anticipated it being. I assumed that it was about twenty percent of the students were doing it, that it would be a small amount, but the more information I have now, it's like seventy percent, seventy-five percent of the students know about it and only twenty percent of the parents.
FOR YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE JESSE, WHAT INFORMATION DO THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS GAME?
Sharron Grant: First of all, they need to know that it kills and it can kill not by just losing brain cells. It can kill by just falling over. There are children that have died because they have passed out and hit something and had brain damage and then died from it.
I would show him how many children have died and the actual articles that are out there on how innocently they were playing it. They think that they're indestructible, that they, they won't die from anything.
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY'RE DOING IT? WHAT ATTRACTS THEM TO THE GAME?
Sharron Grant: I think it's just a peer thing in the beginning. I think like, Jesse just thought it was funny when someone grabs someone from behind and they fell down and they shook and then I am assuming now he said he only did it once, but he got that feeling that was nice and relaxing, or he had a dream where your whole life goes in little pieces through your mind, and that's pretty cool too if it's harmless, and that's cool, then well let's do it again and again.
When it's so much of a subculture,
what other child is going to say, you know that's very dangerous,
you could kill yourself if parents and schools aren't saying that
to them, it's going to continue to grow like that.
NOTE: This interview has been edited for clarity.