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Watch Video Broadcast Date: Friday, November 26, 2010 Download Flash Player to view this content. Video: Patrick Burke
Brendan Burke's older brother, Patrick, reads excerpts from Brendan's speech to his former high school after he came out. |
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Once again another fine example of the strength and dedication of the Fifth Estate journalistic ensemble.I never miss your programs,thank you.
good man.
wow, powerful letter. i would surmise two things. one, you have a wife and, two, you are likely a bit younger than me [i am 50]. as to the former, if you are married, i cannot relate as i am straight gay[no pun intended] i never had the option of getting married, though surely would have done so to fit in. i can only imagine your inner turmoil if you are. as to the later i would say don't wait too long as time screams by and, when it's gone, it's gone forever. if i were to offer advice on the other things you touched on i would say if your friend is a true friend he will accept you. at 49 i finally completed the coming out process [work being the last holdout now] and came out to a group of straight men that i go out wood cutting with. i was very surprised to find that, to a man, they all accepted it and treat me the same. the alpha male of the group [a hardcore redneck i have known since jr. high], was and is my greatest supporter. to be sure he still has a way to go as he isn't very comfortable talking about it yet but he has gone to great pains to tell me that he thinks of me as equal to any of the others in the group and is the first one to stick up for me. as to your thoughts of suicide i can relate to those as i am constantly on a roller coaster of emotions myself but can say it has gotten much better now that i am out to all the people that i count as friends in my life. my only regret that i hold now is not having the guts to do it 20 or 30 years ago and that bothers me greatly. i would encourage you to do some soul searching. i think it's obvious you realize that you are not really living now and owe it to yourself to come out. you only get one time around in this life and it can be a lot of fun. i know that advice is easy go give and often very difficult to follow. have courage. if you do "end it all" then they have won. don't give the religious nut bars and other intolerant fools the satisfaction of causing another gay man off "their" planet. take care my friend.
thank god at least two people out there understand that being gay is DNA caused and not a "lifestyle choice". it drives me crazy when i hear people say that. who would choose to be that which is, for the most part, despised. while it is absolutely unacceptable for people to make slurs about others that have birth defects, it is okay to do so about homosexuals. why cant they show us gays the same tolerance and understanding?? maybe one day.
I totally agree. Just as straight players do not feel the need to announce the fact, why should should gay players? It should be a non issue, but the change has to come from the top. Just as racial slurs are deemed unacceptable, so too should homophobic slurs and the message needs to be given loud and clear by the NHL itself.
I applaud and admire the Burkes for their courage to start the dialogue and inspire change.
hear hear. well said. i recently got into oilfield related work and am solidly back in the closet once again, much to my disgust. good for you that you have the courage to take this stance and i hope you continue to do so. it would mean so much to me if i could have a similar work atmosphere. unlike my straight workmates who naturally talk about their orientation constantly, i don't feel the need to talk about my sexuality all the time and i am tired of having to deny it over and over. at 50 it's soul crushing. as i am not a liar by nature it would be such a weight off my mind to just have it out there. but i fear it would cost me my job or, at least, any chance at advancement.
as i am writing this i am crying. i cry for a family that lost a truly brave young man who would have done so much good for the gay community. to show that we are not just a bunch of over the top, in your face homo's as, sadly, our pride parades tend to depict. as a 50 year old gay man that waited till he was 41 to even start to come out of the closet i know of what i speak. sadly i find myself, once again, back in the closet. this time back at work. i recently changed jobs and am in oilfield related work. once again i find myself having to be my own judas, having to deny myself over and over. it's soul crushing. i hope to be able to summon the courage that this young man had and come out. though i fear it will cost me my job or, at the very least, any chance of advancement. i came across a comment that this episode should be required viewing in schools across the country. i couldn't agree more. if only to show young closeted gays that it's within their own power to change their lives and communities. perhaps if i had viewed something like this back when i was in school my life would have taken a better course. it's too late for me but it isn't for the current generation.
Let a Gay man live his life with Gay abundance !!
I can't thank CBC enough for telling this story. i know all about being gay. I'm a truck driver for a large trucking company and there's a lot of my co workers that are OK with it and don't treat me any different. I bin married now to my lover for almost 2 years and I wish that Brendan could have experience one day having all of his family and friends in celebration and embracing one of the hardest thinks to except in life. My best regards to the family. I wish I could have met him. What an inspiration. Thank you.
I simply clicked on the documentary to see who Brendan Burke is/was. I found this doc so compelling that this should be mandatorily shown in every classroom throughout Canada, North America and the entire globe. To show that sexual orientation has no business becoming a focus of a persons many other abilities. I commend Brendans forthrightness in standing up to 'come out' publicly and hope his LEGACY will ultimately make a HUGE DIFFERENCE for the next heroes to 'come out'. Bernard
Here is an idea, maybe every single person in Canada should check themselves – what does it matter if someone you know is gay/lesbian? I believe a barrier many gay or lesbian people have in being open, “out” and truthful is fear of peoples reactions – if we all simply stated 'it does not matter, you are judged on you as a person not sexual orientation' we can shift the playing field for many people. Even if they don't want to 'come out' or discuss the issue you create a more comfortable world for all.
Racism was a similar battle to open all peoples minds and shift culture, we aren’t ‘there’ yet, but homophobia, gender discrimination/inequality, etc - are things are entire culture has to “come out about” with new thinking and values. This issue is clearly on the map and needs consideration.
I challenge every Canadian to check themselves and for them to publicly at every opportunity to “come out” – state it does not matter if someone is gay? (why should you even care? Unless you are married to someone of the other gender). Lets collectively end the fear and sense of not being acceptance for our sons and daughters, friends and relatives. Really why should it matter? Answer: it doesn’t.
I am not gay and have the societal luxury of never fearing saying that. Imagine the fear of always worrying about reaction to being truthful. I for one simply don’t care I someone is gay and would welcome and include any person on my team based on their skills, abilities and character.
After watching this documentary, I started a facebook group called:
"I Support NHL Players Who Happen To Be Gay"
http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Support-NHL-Players-Who-Happen-To-Be-Gay/199429626736039?sk=wall
This may be the kind of group you are looking for.
Hey Randy,
I understand your frustration I was in Brasil and couldn't watch it. But it worked fine here in Canada. I would suggest you update your drivers and add-ons and then re try to watch the episode.
Good luck
Robert
Robert
Hey CJ it seems like you already have the idea in progress. I encourage you to go ahead and start the group go talk to the Calgary Flames hockey team! I used to live in Calgary and now I live in Brasil with my new husband...I wish you the best!
Robert
As a gay hiv positive previous world level athlete I understand this article better than most. On that point I am lucky I'm gay and even moreso for being a positive athlete for Canada. This family has turned their personal loss and tragedy into a positive to inspire and motivate. Kudos to this family in their direction for doing the "impossible" to hockey and showning that its more than just a game, it's a way of life that appeals to the spectrum of all Canadian lifestyles. Perhaps stories like this should be heard, shared and understood more. Don't live in fear, what have you got to lose. This man's family is what I would consider a modern, progressive and liberal, shining example of what all Canadians should aspire to be. Perhaps once our GAY RIGHTS ARE equalized with more Bills like Bill 22 hopefully gay men will be INCLUDED with legal protection. Currently a gay male family is discriminated in Alberta with "no provisions" for them to protect themselves as a family. God bless this family for taking a stand for their son for the right natural reasons. Here's to any hope that's left. I miss my daughter so much and its because I'm gay that this parent has lost his intended child too...
Hockey is my passion. And I'm gay. And I live in Calgary, the redneck capital of Canada where hockey is practically a religion. So, I totally understand the homophobia that is engrained in the hockey world. And with all the drama surrounding the Sheldon Kennedy / Graham James abuse case, it makes it even more unpopular to be gay and a hockey fan in Calgary.
I wish I could fully be myself at hockey games. But honestly, I fear getting gay bashed ..... Luckily I don't set off many people's gaydar. But the fact remains, I cannot fully be myself at a game. I always have to keep part of me "in check".
If there were more openly gay hockey fans that the players knew were cheering for them in the stands, I wonder if more players would be more comfortable coming out?
Everyone talks about the players needing more support from the NHL organization, clubs, management, etc. But what about support from the fans? Imagine if an NHL player came out of the closet publicly, press conference and all, with the full support of his teammates, and coaches. Then stepping onto the ice after coming out, the whole stadium gave him a 5 minute standing ovation for his courage and determination!! Wouldn't that be something to see!
Maybe I need to start a "Calgary Gay Hockey Fans" group....safety in numbers?
I happened to stumble upon this documentary after reading the recent GQ article on Brendan's death. The documentary is timely and poignant. From what I can gather, Brendan was a real leader and the type of person who we as society need to create change. The courage he exemplified makes me feel more committed to being brave and challenging injustice that confronts everyone as a combined humanity.
May he rest in peace.
I just stumbled upon this story randomly, and I am glad that I was able to view it in its entirety.
I can completely understand the type of situation Brendan faced. While I'm not as athletic as he is, I am not what many would consider a completely 'gay stereotype', so I know what it's like to feel that fear of your friends finding out about you whenever they question why you don't discuss women or talk about dating women just because they assume you're straight. It creates this burden every time there's a social outing or get-together because you'r afraid of how they will react.
Luckily for me, the friends and family I have come out to so far have been very accepting, but I still have others to tell that I know might have trouble with my coming out.
Brendan is such a lucky guy for having such strong and supportive family and friends. Gay men and women are very lucky to have Brian as a role model to look up to.
I also thank cbc for putting up excerpts of his speech when he visited that high school. He would have made a great motivational speaker and I wish I could have emailed or met him in the future.
What a great loss, thanks
I admire Brendan Burke not only for his great courage, but also for the intelligence with which he approached the process of coming out to the world. It's rare to find so much courage and so much solid judgment united in such a young person. The very success of his public coming-out, the wide support and respect that it inspired, is very much to Brendan's credit. His family should also be celebrated for their loving support, and his father Brian Burke and brother Patrick deserve kudos for carrying on Brendan's message. Brendan's death was a tragedy. The world can't afford to lose people like him.
Hello Mr. Justin. For some unexplainable reason the US media does not consider our country (Canada) to have any TV or film worth viewing over the American airways yet we are a people who tend to think profoundly and offer those who live differently the opportunity to be who and what they are naturally. In this way do we learn to live in tolerance and harmony with the other. However, not all Canadians (natural or immigrant) would agree with me on this as we have many with racist, intemperate religious and/or ideological values tainted with a lack of respect for those who walk to a different beat. It is sad that the only Canadian TV programme the American people wanted from us is an awful, disrespectful one with very low ethic and moral values on display. It is the Trailer Park Boys. Husband and I have never watched it and never will. I read about this via the internet a few years ago. We have much of value to offer and would send this programme (of Brendan Burke) to you to view if we were able as it is very sensitive as it explores the thoughts, actions and life of a courageous, intelligent young man who's DNA caused him to be born homosexual. What difference does this make? Absolutely none. If you are burdened with a gender that is not acceptable to your family or community I pray that you find your way supported by those who do accept you and by the inner strength which resides within you.
This deserves a Gemini Award - SO very well produced and documented; a VERY moving, monumental piece....
Hang in there Joe - it can be tough, but it gets better. Trust your friend - I did and my best buds are still my best buds.
It breaks my heart to meet so many people regardless of orientation still stifled by fear of rejection in our hyper-masculinzed popular culture. It's not about being politically correct it's about being true to ones self and that's a challenge in any climate.
Why can we not watch these docu's in Britain??? What a shame!
Man, I wish I lived in Canada so I could watch this!
Thank you for making this documentary!
:,(
One of the most thought-provoking and poignant stories I've watched for many months. Hockey, and all other major league sports, must learn from this. They must address the issue in public and make it clear that they unreservedly support any player who chooses to disclose their sexual orientation. It is quite clear that a major factor causing the these players stress is the concern over what the reaction will be to a disclosure. They face the unknown with their own families and friends. Hockey can ease the burden with an up-front, welcoming and supportive policy.
I find CBC's streaming technology to be pretty poor. First, there's the irrational restriction to Canadian audiences only. Second, I couldn't even stream it IN Canada. Oh sure, the commercial ads worked just fine. But the video itself stuttered, sputtered, and stalled. Streaming itself is a concept that is not ready for primetime, and probably never will be. A download option should be preferred by default. You either want your idea out there, or you don't. Those who are open will win.
Do you realize how difficult it is to be a gay male in socitey, let alone in sports? The pretense of being straight to be accepted is what drove Gareth Thomas to have a wife. It was to stave off any accusations of him being gay. Society has not come to the point where it's ok to be gay. How many people commit, attempt, or contemplate suicide because they're gay. It's a terrible stigma to live with. There are a lot of men and women who marry someone of the opposite sex just to cover up the fact they are homosexual. They feel that they would lose all their friends and family, their jobs, everything would come falling down around them if they came out.
Not until society turns around on this subject will homosexual, and bisexual, people feel comfortable with being open. Too much religion runs this country. It's a sin to be gay, and society does not want to know there are those people out there.
I've given up my religion and all belief in god because of the way the bible is presented and represented by religious people.
Homosexuality is the last prejudice, it's completely ok to be openly homophobic and ridicule those who are gay.
I am only somewhat out, but not openly. My best buddy doesn't know (for sure). I can't tell him. I can't lose the friendship we shared for over 20 years. I constantly think about death and suicide. I wish it were all over, so I don't have to deal with it any longer. If I take my own life, we lose the house.
I hope, someday, that society will change. It's better than it used to be, but there is a very long way yet to go. It needs to begin with religion. They have to stop preaching that homosexuality is a sin. They need to begin accepting everyone in "god's flock". Eliminate the notion that being gay is wrong.
It was an honour to have Brian Burke, wearing his late son's hockey jersey, march with us in PFLAG last year in Toronto's pride parade.
A change is coming, and walls are being broken. Brendan marches with us, and we carry him in our hearts.
Not to detract in any way from the courage and contributions of Brendan and Brian Burke, but the person I found most impressive was Gareth Thomas. A very high profile athlete in one of the most "masculine" environments imaginable. What a study in courage and integrity.
Thank you for sharing his courageous story. What a tragedy. What is also inspiring is how positive the comments are. I am often saddened when reading comment boards about gay issues by how many hurtful homophobic posts there are about "gays burning in hell", and other ignorant comments. This is either a heavily moderated board or an enlightened audience. Thank you!!!
Too bad we can't see this in the US...
Excellent show. I will show my class tomorrow.
video cant be streamed outside of canada...
epic fail!!!!!
A moving story, told well.
I wish I'd been born a dozen years after Brendan. I didn't figure out I'm gay until I was 39 because there weren't any masculine, but gay, role-models in the 1980s. Brendan could have been that role-model for today's pre-teens. Who will step up?
I'm now out to family, friends, co-workers and team-mates. Being gay is a non-issue to them all. Most importantly, I'm out to myself.
This was one of the most touching and heartfelt programs I've watched in a long time. My heart goes out to the family. What an amazing young man. The Burke Family should be so proud to have raised such a wonderful person.
Laraque didn't seem to appreciate the significance of an out gay hockey player. One's sexuality is expressed in so many ways— what goes on in the bedroom is a small part of this expression—and closeted members of professional sports leagues presently—for whatever reason—feel the need to stifle this expression.
If a homosexual can proudly penetrate the macho world of male team sports, he'll serve as an example to closeted gays everywhere—athletic or not—and moreover encourage greater acceptance of homosexuality within the straight community as heterosexual men and boys find gay athletes to look up to.
+1 re: making this available in the states.
couldn't watch, notice said it can't be streamed outside of canada.
why only available in Canada? I wanna see too!
I have to say, I did watch your Program both Sat. Eve. as well Sun. Morning and I was so touched with the story of this Courageous Man. He was certainly loved and admired. His father Is a Great Man as well for just accepting his son. I am a Gay man of 45. I too had/have a great support team with friends as well family. I came out at 15 years old in Vancouver B.C., I was constantly picked on in School. I did not let the Abusers win. I really wish I had a friend such as Brendan. Thanks to CBC for showing such great TV.
It is indeed sad that many gay athletes are afraid to reveal their orientations. However, I don't believe that any individual should be glorified because their orientation is politically correct at present. I was particularly intrigued by the blantant one sidedness of the piece on Gareth Thomas the Welsh Rugby star. He was applauded as a hero for "coming out" however it was mentioned that he was married to a woman for ten years and that he frequently engaged in anonymous gay sex. His wife's name or viewpoint wasn't even mentioned. He chose to live a lie while she was forced to do so. He chose to come out near the end of his career when he didn't have really much to lose. I think he was a coward really.
I thought this documentary was very well done. I thought George Laroque's point was glossed over though, when it was actually very meaningful - why do we put it on the shoulders of gay athletes to come out publicly? We do we not put it on ourselves to make gay athletes accepted the same as straight athletes - for example why don't the teams take it upon themselves to stop the slurs? Why should it take gay athlete to change the climate - why don't the people around gay athletes (team mates, clubs, fans) take it upon themselves to change the climate?
Anilla, The name of the young man with Brendan was Mark Reedy, he was 19, a freshman at Michigan State. You are right, of course his family is equally devastated by their loss, and he deserves more notice in the story. Unfortunately, this story on gay acceptance in professional sports only involves Brendan's story, but you're wise to point out that another dear person was lost on that terrible February afternoon.
Am so glad I watched this; was truly inspiring to see all the love and courage displayed by the Burke family. Thanks to CBC for doing a story about this it somehow made my own personal struggle in life a little bit easier
Amazing episode as usual thank you fifth estate for the best docs on tv
Excellent program should have more like it.
What an amazing famly !! Great piecce by the Fifth Estate...keep up the good work in Brendan's memory <3
Great episode. The Burkes are to be applauded for their efforts. It's just too bad that he died in an accident.
How can I watch this if I live outside Canada?! I'm very interested!
when will they repeat this documentary?
Hats off to The Fifth, and to be lucky enough to live in a country where issues like these are topics of importance. But like Laraque said," Why should it be important."
I feel this should have no merit on anyone that is gay because they have the right to play any sport or walk this earth like all of us. I can remember a time when my son came to his father and I to tell us that his best friend of many years was gay. He was worried how we would handle it. His father and I both at the same time told our son that we had always none he was gay and we were waiting for him to come out and say it to everyone. This doesn't not change anything about his friend to us or should to him. My son was more worried that we would have a different feeling towards him. I say with this days and times things need to be changed for the better. Theses athletes need not feel that they are alone and take a stand for their cause. If I were Brandon's Mother and father. I'd be very proud of him too.
A very likable young man. But I would have liked to hear little more about the accident. Who was driving, what exactly happened. After all another boy died with Brendan; his family must have been devastated yet his name was hardly mentioned even for a second where as Brendan was glorified throughout the documentary.
Congratulations on producing such a powerful and important documentary. Hopefully, Brendan's story will inspire others to come out and speak their truth. This is the real courage that we need to see displayed in professional sports at all levels. The rampant homophobia, shame, and silence must end.
Great documentary and so important. The universe could not have chosen a better conduit for its message.
I watched the show last evening & was really taken by the way brendans family supported him.I hope this will help people understand, that sexual orientation should not be something we judge a person for. we need to accept people they way they are, not the way we think they should be molded to suit ourselves.Long live his legacy to the world.
Thank you for his story, an inspiration to us all about being who you are, hopefully they wake up and smell the coffee
Great episode on Brendan Burke, what a courageous young man. You need a loving , accepting family. I'm sure that Brendan Burke and his family have made the world a better place.
Brendan's story is incredibly moving. I hope the hockey community will not let his courage go to waste. I look forward to a day when sexual orientation is a non-issue for professional athletes.
Would really love to watch this--and other Fifth Estate episodes--in the United States. Could you please make them available on your website or through iTunes? Thanks!
The bravery of Brendan Burke is so admirable and uncomprehensible to me (as a straight man). I am in awe of him, and of his family. This episode was touching, beautiful, and so sad. If more gay athletes were open about their sexuality, and had the support of their teammates,owners, and leagues, I think it would quickly dispel the stereotypes that are so prominent, especially with men.
I really enjoyed this episode. As a gay female hockey player myself and a huge fan of the NHL all I have to say is, it's about time this is brought to further awareness. I am currently taking my Masters in Counseling Psychology and my goal is to assist youth, adults, and their loved ones through disclosure or non-disclosure. This episode was inspiring for me, and emphasizes my long-term professional goal of assisting individuals, society, and ultimately society.
Thank you for presenting this topic with great sensitivity for both homosexuality and the Burke family. To be honest, I tuned in expecting to see a hockey memoir, but the emotional weight of this amazing story was so heavy, I couldn't help but keep watching. I'm glad that this somewhat taboo topic is getting recognition, and I admire Brendan Burke for his heroic efforts. Thank you.
Brendan was indeed an incredible and unique, very bright and obviously talented individual. What he started, I hope and pray his father will continue on with .. until that day comes when any and all can play sports - gay or straight. God Bless you Brendan for making a difference.
Great episode. The Burkes are to be applauded for their efforts. It's just too bad that he died in an accident.
my congrats to the show and to the fearless family of this corageous young man and the fortitude he showed...thanks
Great episode so far.
I will be watching Friday night. This is a fascinating subject since there is more homosexuality in our society that people would like to admit. Just the thought of two hockey players in warm embrace is extraordinary!
WOW! I am anxious to see this edition of The Fifth Estate.
Brendan Burke was without doubt, a brave and wonderful kid. The loss to our world is huge.
However - Mr. Brain Burke has really stepped up, both in support of his son and magnificently to support all those young sports kids who also happen to be Gay. Additionally to some of those who would otherwise have passed over that gay sports kid.
Admittedly I have never been to a Leafs hockey game and probably looked the other way when it came to sport when I was in school. I was always the last kid chosen when it was time to pick a team. I suppose there was always my fear that someone might find out 'the truth'.
Brian Burke is making a real impression exactly where it needs to be made. I, for one, stand and give him an ovation. If I were Tom Robinson or Boo Radley, Brian Burke would be my Atticus Finch.
"Before Jem looks at anyone else he looks at me, and I’ve tried to live so I can look squarely back at him." Atticus Finch - To Kill A Mockingbird.
Thank you Brian Burke. I will be watching Friday night.
David Marsden
Neil Mens, you are right on the mark. Brendan Burke's courage in revealing his orientation may encourage others to do the same. There should be no stigma attached to a person's orientation.
Combating Homophobia in sport and society needs inspiration, courage and dedication to human rights. Coming Out asks our straight allies, friends and family to replace fear and discrimination with love and acceptance. Canada and the world is better place because of Brendan Burke and his family.