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how to divorce and not wreck the kids Roland and Carolye with Celia and Max. Photo credit: Roland Rickus
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How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids

Thursday July 9 at 8 pm on CBC-TV & Saturday July 11 at 10 pm ET/PT on CBC News Network

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How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids

Watch the full episode online.

43:47 minutes

 

How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids takes viewers inside one of life's most devastating transitions as three Canadian couples, determined to keep the needs of their children first, work through their separations on camera.

The "divorce from hell" stories grab headlines: couples who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars destroying each other and, incidentally, their children. But in this country, there is another reality. Grassroots Canadians are at the heart of a quiet revolution - couples working on "good" divorces, which acknowledge that the end of a marriage isn't the end of a family. Because research says: separating parents who co-operate can raise children who are as emotionally healthy as kids from intact families.

family Lionel and Sally with children Rhys and and Gareth

As filming begins, the split between Sally and Lionel is still fresh and raw. And cooperating will be a challenge for Sally since she didn't want the marriage to end. Sally and Lionel were married for 17 years and are parents to three boys, from 11 to 4 years old. They agree to a new and controversial process called Collaborative Divorce, because they believe it will help them focus on what's best for their children. If only anger and bitterness don't derail the process.

Roland and Carolye were married for 13 years and have two kids. They transitioned out of their marriage into something of a friendship -- but that friendship will be tested as Roland seeks 50-50 custody of their children. Carolye and Roland will try to hammer out an agreement without professional help, using a do-it-yourself divorce kit.

mike and melissa Mike and Melissa with their twins.

After five years of marriage and three-year-old twins, Mike and Melissa split shortly after Christmas, the busiest time in the divorce world. They're each passionate about being there for all the important moments in the children's lives, even though it's uncomfortable being in the same room together. When they reach an impasse in their separation negotiations, Mike and Melissa turn to a mediator to break the deadlock.

Three courageous Canadian couples invite you to witness the end of their marriages...as they struggle to overcome their anger and fear and stay focused on How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids.

How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids is produced by Bountiful Films Inc. in association with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

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Episode Features

NEW: Information for Kids

Want to help your child understand what's happening as you separate or divorce?

Take them on a tour of "Changeville," a pioneering on-line resource for children 6 to 11 - whose families are breaking up.
It's fun and it's FREE.
Enter here.

Discussion

Talk about this film online with other viewers. Visit our discussion board.

Listen Online

The Current interview a couple trying colloborative divorce and the director of How To Divorce and Not Wreck The Kids. Listen to the interview online.

Facts about Divorce in Canada

  • According to lawyers in Canada and the U.S., January is the busiest month in the divorce business. And in Britain, January 8th is actually called "D Day" because that's the day when most divorces are initiated.
  • In Canada, one in two unions fails, most before the 14-year mark.
  • Only 5 percent of couples actually sit down and tell their children they are separating, and what it will mean to them.
  • Women initiate approximately two-thirds of separations and divorces.
  • Joint Custody, when there are two loving and interested parents, works best for children.

Problems Divorced Kids Face

  • More problems with authority figures, their peers and their parents.
  • Two times more likely to develop psychological problems like anxiety, depression and self-esteem issues.
  • More marijuana and alcohol use, compared to married family children.
  • Lack of parental monitoring.
  • Divorced kids drop out of school two to three times the rate of married family children.

For suggestions in avoiding these problems read: Dr. Joan Kelly's Top Ten Ways To Protect Your Kid's from the Fallout of a High Conflict Break-up

Divorce Toolkit

Find out what a collaborative divorce participation agreement looks like. This is the document couples and their lawyers sign which sets the tone for collaborating, not litigating.

On the night that Sally and Lionel decided they were going to separate, they sat down together and drafted this statement, which became their guide for their own behavior as they worked through their separation. It's a very good example for other parents.

Download a copy of Dr. Joan Kelly's Tipsheet and her suggestions for talking to kids about divorce.

Shared Parenting Calendar Software

Visit our resource section for more links.

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