Listen to DNTO: Apr. 10 (Names)

As a young Sub Lieutenant in the Canadian Navy many years ago, I recall the days when we would pull into a Foreign port, and host a reception onboard on behalf of the Dept of Foreign Affairs.
These receptions typically involved inviting local government officials, members of the business community, diplomats and the society elite onboard our ship. As a very young Officer, onboard, I was expected to attend these receptions and assist in hosting guests. I Like many of my colleagues, I found these receptions full of stuffed shirts and surly young officers who would much rather be spending their limited free time ashore, sight seeing.
The golden rule was to be on one’s best behaviour and avoid embarrassing Canada, the Navy, and our Captain. With an open bar at these receptions, it was often difficult to obey the golden rule.
In order to avoid being the subject of an indignant letter from a local official, we began the practise of replacing our Navy issued uniform name tags with ones which contained fake names. In my particular case, I became Sub Lieutenant Lance Canyon from Pump-handle Saskatchewan.
Sub Lieutenant Canyon had a chequered history. He didn't much care for pomposity and he was fond of flirting with the wives of the invited guests. On more than one occasion, my Commanding Officer received letters complaining about Sub Lieutenant Canyon. I on the other hand, had a spotlessly clean record.

(Name withheld for security reasons)
Halifax NS