Drum roll, please. Here they are, the five finalists in our All Hell Breaks Loose contest. We challenged you to come up with a single sentence that broke as many of Elmore Leonard's Ten Rules for Writing Fiction as you could. We sincerely thank all who took this challenge and ran with it. The winners will all receive a set of three Elmore Leonard books, including the just-published Rayan. Their work will also published in the The National Post. Michael Enright of The Sunday Edition dropped by the studio to read a couple of the winning entries. Listen here...
Read the winning entries after the break...
"An' den suddenly all hell broke loose jus' ahead a' da cheenook wints dat signalt a shange in da bidder code wedder and sno dat hat brot wit'em da inexplicable deaths of all males over da aich of 42 from lingering nose bleets!!!!", hoarsely gasped the 41 year old bald, cross-eyed, obese, 5 ft 2 inch Pat Dolan as he explained the reason he was hiding in the ladies washroom of the Conroy mall with two Vaseline smeared Q-tips firmly lodged in his snub-nosed nostrils to the two buxom and beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed, 6 ft 4 inch, 18 yr old identical twin sisters, who were armed from the tip of their pink painted toenails to their straight and pearly white, luscious lip surrounded teeth!!!!!!!!"
"The rain fell and swooned in puddles, pooling like a hysterical woman's tears at a particularly lovely sermon Sunday, where the preacher preaches with a passion and has a penchant for the elaborate slamming of tight fists and indignant raising of hairy knuckles and his thunderous voice pours down on his parish in a frightful and spittled "Who here would lika to be saaavvveeeddd??!!!".
Leila C. Beach
"Suzette, the stunningly nubile young blonde French actress dressed in a pink micro-mini skirt and white polka-dotted top asked angrily, "Vie do you bring me to zis 'orrible, dark, smelly, garbage filled alley-way zo zoon after zee weather has suddenly gone from bad to vorse and all 'ell 'as broken loose to tell me about zomezing zat 'as 'appened zo long ago!!!""
"On the wintry, unforgiving streets of Brooklyn, New York, the story opens in the far corner of a mysterious alley, behind the green dumpster and next to the sewer drain, to find two dark-haired, well-muscled schmeboygahs dressed in wife-beaters, sitting in the Caddy, when one violently and suddenly yells out, "Hey, howyoodoing, not for nutting, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts all hell breaks loose and these wise guys over here tell us to fuhgedaboutit!""
Vero Beach, FL
"Under the murky stratocumulus heavily blanketing the heavens as if all hell was really going to break lose, suddenly the voice of the bearded, spectacled old gent daftly admonishing her was surprisingly audible to the petite titivated woman on stilettos who was, in the middle of the busy only one-gas-tank gas station in this picturesque seaside village of eastern Canada, absent-mindedly soliloquizing at length that she soon must lightly iron her rags, finally exclaiming: «J'aime pâs la way qu'a hang ma skirt !!! »."
New Hazelton, BC