GROSS ROMANCE

PRESS RELEASE: Harlequin introduces new book titles for germaphobes

We here at Harlequin understand that romance is a beautiful but truly disgusting business.
(Shutterstock / Sonsedska Yuliia)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – We here at Harlequin understand that romance is a beautiful but truly disgusting business. Kissing, lovemaking – it's all just so endlessly fraught with horrific germs. We've long endured our readers' cries of "gross!" and "did he even wash his hands first?!" and today, we've listened. We're proud to present our new line of Harlequin romance titles for germaphobes.

Caught In a Tangled Web M.D.

When Christabelle and Sergio's eyes first meet, they're strangers at a coffee shop, both anxiously researching West Nile symptoms on Ask Jeeves dot com. Moments later, both appear to be exhibiting the symptoms of love.

Thankfully, Only Her Laugh Was Contagious

Arabella-Grace has a laugh that drives men wild. The gentle birdsong of her amusement has them howling with glee in mere seconds, but fortunately her severe influenza is well past the incubation stage.

Dirty Talk, Very Clean Sheets

Lacey loves it when Jeremiah talks dirty – but she'd love it even more if she didn't constantly have to buy his laundry detergent! UGH!

The Day He Asked For Her Hand Sanitizer In Marriage

Gregory-Michael-Gregory has put on his best suit and is headed to the hotel bar to meet Kandle-Ann. That's right – tonight's the night Gregory-Michael-Gregory pledges his life to Kandle-Ann's bottle of squeezable Purell.

The Night At The Spanish Hotel That Had Five "Cleanliness" Stars On Yelp

Jessalynne and Horatio speed down the Barcelona highway, frantically searching for somewhere to spend one last passionate night together before flying home to different states. Not just anywhere, though: somewhere that's heard of Windex.

Sealed With A Kiss, But A Quick One, Pal, Not One Of Those Slobber Jobs

When Johnstone VII and Penelopia get engaged atop a stack of eagle nests in Arizona, it's time for the smooch of a century – but let's keep it quick, okay champ?

The Day He Got Cold Feet But At Least It Wasn't A Cold

Tragedy strikes Glendolyn Manor as Elisabettina prepares for her wedding day –but Chaddd has gone missing. After an exhaustive search, friends and family determine that Chaddd has indeed bailed on his promise of eternal love, but oh well! At least he appears to be relatively free of any mild seasonal viruses!

Burning The Midnight Oil Of Oregano

Lance and Lyddiah-Lynne are working late in the office on the big file but Lance still has that pesky cold. In this tale of a sordid workplace affair, natural remedy meets supernatural attraction.

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About the Author

Sophie Kohn

Managing Editor

Sophie Kohn is the head writer and managing editor of CBC Comedy original editorial, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.