THE TALK EXCHANGE

Pickup lines overheard in the financial district

CBC Comedy sent one reporter to every financial district in Canada to casually lean against the wall and eavesdrop at the popular chain of after-work pubs, Sorry, I’ve Got To Take This.
(Shutterstock / Elijah Lovkoff)

What are business people ever saying? What are the allegedly English words coming out of their mouths?? And do they ever stop talking like corporate robot aliens, or is that how they sound around the clock???

CBC Comedy sent one reporter to every financial district in Canada to casually lean against the wall and eavesdrop at the popular chain of after-work pubs, Sorry, I've Got To Take This. The only good news is that thankfully, nobody ended his or her pickup line by saying "Thx," probably because it's impossible to pronounce gracefully outside of email.

1.

"Hey girl, I'd like to take this offline and leverage your assets."

2.

"Hey man, I want to ideate some deep dives into the synergy of our ecosystem."

3.

"HEY GIRL, I'd like to touch base about my low-hanging fruit."

4.

"Hey lady, I want to get your buy-in vis-á-vis my core competencies."

5.

"Listen, you've got a lot of moving parts and I like the look of your vertical. Hoping we can move the needle on this."

6.

"Hey boy, can I incentivize you to come back to my place and onboard you with my best practices??"

7.

"I was hoping we could drill down on this moving forward, but the take-away I'm getting is that you want to put a pin in this. Oh well. It is what it is."

8.

"The price point of these drinks is pretty high, but it's worth it if I can impact you, girl."

9.

"Let's not reinvent the wheel here: You're on my radar. I want to empower you to believe this game-changer could be a win-win."

10.

*There was one guy who just sidled up to a woman at the bar and blurted out, "CONTENT IS KING." We have no idea what he meant, how that relates to asking her out, or how that would in any way be an appealing proposition. We doubt he knows either. Good luck out there, pal.

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About the Author

Sophie Kohn

Writer/Producer

Sophie Kohn is writer and producer with CBC Comedy, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.