BRUSH OFF

I bought one toothbrush online, and now Facebook's ads think I want another one just 15 years later

Uhhh I've already got one, guys. Figure out your advertising.
(Shutterstock / kurhan)

If you're like me, you've completely had it with these social media ads.

Not only are they annoying, but I've realized that these companies clearly have no idea what they're even doing!

Classic case in point?

I bought a toothbrush in 2003, based on an ad I saw on Amazon.

It arrived quickly, and in perfect condition.

I ordered it, it came, and I had it now. I have a toothbrush. I'm all set.

Then last week, I'm scrolling around on there looking for the right Instant Pot, when what pops up on the side of the screen?

An ad for another toothbrush!

Uh, guys, do you not get it? I. Already. Bought. A. Toothbrush.

Give it up! Get the hint!

You advertised, and it worked! Maybe spend your money trying to get a very important market: uhhhhh, people who don't already have toothbrushes! Maybe that would be a lot smarter!

You wouldn't advertise a mattress to someone who just bought a mattress, would you?

Would you advertise a car to someone who just bought a brand-new car?

Or a house to someone who just moved in?

So then save your toothbrush talk for somebody who's never bought one, or at least hasn't since they were a baby.

Because I may not be some fancy "online advertising" genius or "guy who listens to what the dentist says," but the way I look at it?

Same teeth?***

Same toothbrush.

***A lot of them, anyway. Almost nearly half.

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About the Author

Jeremy Woodcock

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.