POETRY

Haikus about the nüs (and other topical poems)

All the news that's fit to rhyme.
(Shutterstock / Faer Out)

1

Ninety-six tickets

On sale for Leafs playoff games

One left, post-StubHub

2

There once was a President Trump

Howe'er high Putin said, he would jump

Then he won the election

Spent a year sans reflection

Yada yada Facebook's in a slump

3

Ford was elected

But will he win against Wynne?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*, her name is win

*In my opinion, this is still only one syllable

4

There once were some pods filled with Tide

'legedly some folks ate 'em and died

Like, I never met one

Who would be all that dumb

But a friend of friends' friend's never lied!

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About the Author

Jeremy Woodcock

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.