Western semi-finalist 09

(April 6, 2009) It takes a big man to admit his mistakes. That's why I’m blaming my loss on someone else: ABBA.

I was fine until we reached the music challenge. I had to rewrite the lyrics to “Waterloo.” How many times did I listen to that profoundly annoying tune, trying to replace, “Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way.”

Western semi-finalist 09

(April 6, 2009) The Canada writes trip and show was epic. Amazing, everyone was very sweet and it was a great experience.

I don't think I have ever been so nervous as when I was waiting to see if I would go down that trap door, Katie can attest to the fact that my hands were as cold and clammy as a freshly shucked oyster. David was quite content to leave the show first, like Obi Wan Kenobi being struck down to become more powerful than ever. I was pretty happy with how my song went, I thought it could be the theme song to a Canadian sci fi series with props made out of old cardboard boxes.

Eastern semi-finalist 09

(March 16, 2009) First contestant to get the trap door? ME?? Well, it happened. Was it my superfluous nod to hallucinogenic drugs or my lack of references to winter, Tim Hortons, Stephen Harper, Molson Canadian, the recession and/or Rex Murphy, all of which my fellow contestants managed to slide in the net like hockey pucks? Kidding aside, I do wonder how I'd have fared in the pressure pot of the lightning rounds. From the lonely oubliette, I played along with the micro-story challenge and in sixty seconds of real time came up with:

Eastern semi-finalist 09

(March 6, 2009) In a vain attempt to disguise my all-too-evident hangover one Saturday morning, I found myself up and at it, cleaning my room as I listened to the echoes of CBC Radio as it traveled down the hallway from my parents' room. Normally I'd have my own AM/FM radio tuned in, but I went out west last summer for work and returned to find my room ransacked and my alarm clock/radio (among many other things) in the possession of my youngest sister.

Eastern Finalist 09

(April 27, 2009) I've learned now, that life is what happens to a writer between writing contests and drafts. Alas, as the sun sets on Canada Writes, I bid adieu to the cast and crew of GO! and feel an array of emotions: happiness and bliss for making it to the final round, yet humble sadness for not being crowned Mr. Canada Writes (ha ha ha). But I feel an overall sense of pride and accomplishment for having made it as far as I did, and the endless support from friends and family doesn't hurt either.

Eastern Finalist 09

(April 27, 2009) Before Canada Writes, the only thing I excelled at was having babies. Number 1 arrived in only five hours. I didn’t even break a sweat. I had the knack. Right down to the last one. I squoze her out in two hours while painting a watercolour with the rest of my family watching and eating the homemade bread I baked myself before walking to the hospital.

Winner Canada Writes 09

(April 27, 2009) Canada Writes Finals! …It’s hard to know how to wrap this up. I’m having trouble remembering what it feels like to live without the constant stress and excitement of the Canada Writes competition. To be truthful, I know I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss the random practice challenges from friends and family. I’m certainly going to miss the king size bed in my hotel room in Toronto…

Western Finalist 09

(April 27, 2009) Toronto. A far cry from the crisp mountain air of Banff. A thrumming mass of humanity fuelled by caffeine and street meat. The final showdown of Canada Writes 2009.

The main thing that I will take home from this experience (aside from a swell prize) is pride. Not so much for myself, but for the amazing talent that we have all across this country. It was thrilling to meet all of the other finalists. In true Canuck fashion, we were all genuinely supportive of each other, and commiserated about the crazy thing we were putting ourselves through.

Canada Writes 07, Finalist

Part one:

My tale begins in Fall 2007. Within a one-month span, I went from being a complete unknown to a relative unknown who was also one of five national finalists on Canada Writes. Along the way...

Canada Writes 07, Finalist

Canada Writes ’07! The Ecstasy! The Agony! Free Breakfast!

It was a huge thrill to make it to the finals of the very first Canada Writes! Everyone was so lovely and I had a great time. While I did drink to forget parts of the day, I also learned some good lessons, proving once again that the CBC is entertaining AND educational.

Canada Writes 07, Finalist

Oh the glamour! The riches! The fame!

One day you’re sitting at home with nothing but a laptop and a dream, the next you’re being flown to Toronto all-expenses paid…and then the next you’re being booted out of the competition by Elvira Kurt.

Canada Writes 07, Finalist

Having more in common with a mouse than a tiger when it comes to competition, I was relieved that my fellow Canadian Writers were all friendly and supportive.

Canada Writes 07, Winner

Canada Writes 2009, hey? I guess I'm about to be de-crowned …

So I've been trying for 30 minutes to figure out what to say… It's hard! Nothing I write seems good enough. It's odd, because the reason I won last year (yes, I was the "Best Writer In Canada", and that's not showing off, it's a fact—check the internet) was my ability to write little stories quickly.