Wednesday, April 1, 2015 |
The party is about to end for the critically acclaimed TV series Mad Men. While many Mad Men fans will fondly remember the show for its incredibly accurate set design, great outfits, and superb acting, the show also gave TV audiences one of the most complex anti-heroes in recent memory: Don Draper. Intelligent, suave, but also self-destructive and mercurial, Draper's existential angst has informed the entire series.
And nobody on TV talks quite like Don Draper -- in the boardroom or out of it. We wanted to imagine what it would be like if the brooding advertising maverick gave us his trademark insight -- on some classic children's books.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling
"Most people will tell you this is a story about good vs. evil. And about magic. But they're wrong. It's about a boy. A boy with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. There's a scar in all of us. There is no good, no evil, no magic, no Hagrid. Just us ... and our scars."
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
"I knew a girl named Anne... a long time ago. She was the kind of woman who walked into a room and brought her whole past with her. Like a shadow that never leaves you. You can never have a future with someone who can't escape her past. She's not looking for kindred spirits. She's looking for a way out."
Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
"Let me get this straight. This is a story about a pig who becomes friends with a spider? Don't waste my time. People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be. Eventually, you'll see through it all. The day you make a friend is the day you start losing a friend. And that's probably why I'm rarely invited to birthday parties."
*Lights another cigarette. Makes an Old Fashioned with rye*
The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
"Success comes from standing out, not fitting in. This little engine, who saw opportunity where bigger engines only saw risk and obstacle, isn't just an anthropomorphic piece of technology -- it's the American dream. You want some respect? Go out there and get it for yourself."
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
*Suddenly looks interested*
"This is the greatest advertising opportunity since the invention of cereal. You know what would go great with this? Toast. Toasted. It's toasted! Draper... out."