Thursday, April 3, 2014 |
Some fans of the hit sit-com How I Met Your Mother are so angry with the series finale that they've started an online petition demanding the producers re-shoot the last episode. More than 8,000 people have signed the petition on Change.Org, which is addressed to CBS.
If you haven't seen the last episode yet and don't know how main character Ted met the mother of his kids, then stop reading now.
If you've reached this point...
Then we'll assume A) you know how it ends or B) you don't care about #spoilers.
OK. So basically, Ted meets Tracy, the titular Mom, on a train platform after his buddies Barney and Robin (his on-again off-again love interest throughout the series) get married. But Future Ted reveals that Tracy dies, Barney and Robin get divorced, and the kids encourage their dad to go after "Aunt Robin" because it's clear he's still in love with her.
The ending had left a bitter taste in some viewers' mouths, and some have taken to writing up alternate endings or re-cutting video of the finale themselves. We here at CBC Books wondered how the series would have ended if one of these famous authors wrote the final scenes...
The George R.R. Martin ending:
An army of Barney's jilted ex-lovers, disguised as wait staff, invade his and Robin's wedding reception and slaughter all the guests. Ted is stabbed several times with a giant fork, but survives by crawling under the dessert table. He's later discovered alive by a beautiful paramedic, who marries him soon after and bears him two beautiful children. They all end up getting killed in horrifying ways.
The Haruki Murakami ending:
Ted, sitting in the rain at the train station, spots Tracy the bass player from the wedding. As they begin romantically sharing an umbrella and making conversation, both experience sudden and simultaneous convergent flashbacks and flashforwards, in which it is revealed that Tracy is essentially a parallel universe version of Ted, and her own existence has been framed by the search for the father of her future children. Both of them agree to part and meet again in exactly one year, outside the bathrooms at the Shibuya Kaikan video arcade in Tokyo, to see if they truly belong together. They do. And the episode fades to black as they play Beatles' hits on Guitar Hero together.
The Nicholas Sparks ending:
Actually, pretty much the same as the TV show ending, but with way more letter writing.
The Jane Austen ending:
At the altar, Robin admits to Barney that she doesn't truly love him and she felt immense pressure to save her family from financial ruin by marrying him. Her true desire is to pursue her own career as a journalist, but that she also loves Ted, who has a financially modest career as a college professor. Barney is relieved to hear this as he's keen to resume his playboy ways. They both decide to stay friends. Ted then approaches and reveals his own secret -- he's actually a very wealthy person who had inherited a family estate in England and has an income of more than 500,000 a year. He has realized his love for Robin and she accepts his on-the-spot marriage proposal, wondering aloud at the good fortune of having met a decent, good-natured man who appreciates her intellect and independence, while conveniently being rich enough to be part of the one percent. When Future Ted is finished telling his kids the story, his children tell him that the ending is nonsensical and even insulting to their intelligence because his previous stories firmly established that Robin was not in fact their mother and they actually seemed incompatible in so many ways. To which Future Ted nonchalantly replies, "If you don't like the ending, go start a petition."