Tuesday, March 11, 2014 |
Lena Dunham will be a special guest writer for an upcoming series of Archie comic books.
This particular modernization was the brainchild of former Glee and Big Love writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. Aguirre-Sacasa, the new chief creative officer of Archie told Comic Book Resources about the new Dunham series. "We sent her a box of tons of Archie books, she devoured them all, and maybe a week or two later came back with her pitch," Aguirre-Sacasa said. "I'm not going to spoil it, but it's really, really funny. It's incredibly contemporary. It's a classic Archie story, with a definitely unique, Lena spin, and it's going to be set in Archie continuity."
For those who cannot wait until 2015, here at CBC Books we've created some Lena Dunham-inspired Archie fan fiction.
1. Veronica opens her own business
Veronica convinces her dad to invest in a coffee shop that doubles as a publishing house. Things don't go as expected when it turns out that their number one money-maker is the homemade preserves that Ethel makes. As much as they try to push themselves as a publishing house ready to take millennial memoirs, people are lined up around the block for Ethel's preserves.
2. Jughead goes viral
Jughead decides to profit from his love of hamburgers and starts one of those "My year of..." campaigns. His instagram that documents the hamburgers he eats for every meal goes viral and he lands a book deal. After a round of press reveals that he's actually been living this way his whole life, he becomes even more popular. He lands a reality TV show where he goes around the world eating hamburgers.
3. Moose becomes Mr. Weatherbee's intern
Mr. Weatherbee decides to cash in on some free labour and advertises on Craigslist for an intern. The ad deceptively reads "seeking top quality, high performing human model of perfection for pretty much best internship ever at sports stadium (with education wing)." Not realizing that "sports stadium with education wing" is a euphemism for a high school, and being the sporty guy Moose is, he applies. Both Weatherbee and Moose are disappointed to see each other but it's too late to find another applicant. Moose ends up showing lots of initiative and makes Weatherbee's job a lot more efficient. Eventually, Weatherbee feels like the intern because Moose is doing all the work and making Weatherbee redundant. Weatherbee becomes a parody of an intern and spends all day whining on Facebook.
4. Reggie dates Miss. Grundy
After a string of celebrity men show up at the Oscars with dates twice their age, Reggie decides to bring the same trend to Riverdale. He changes his Ok Cupid profile to read seeking women 40 +. One profile catches his attention in particular despite the lack of photograph and real name. When the woman shows up, it's Miss Grundy. Reggie is so fixated on the fashion of dating an older woman that it doesn't seem to bother him that it's his former high school teacher. Betty writes a feminist reaction in an open letter that gets circulated all over the internet. Miss Grundy dumps Reggie.
5. Betty and Archie go hipster
Betty and Archie try to boost Riverdale tourism by launching a shuttle bus directly from Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to their town. However, the first bus ride ever is a disaster and breaks down in Duluth, Minnesota. They start the hashtag #RuthlessInDuluth and after a few nights partying in Duluth, the Williamsburg and Riverdale hipsters all decide they should relocate to Duluth. Veronica, left behind, can't tell if this is an ironic or sincere move.
Photo credit: Archie promotional image, art by Dan Parent
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