By S. Elasoff (Richmond, BC)

How my date got arrested and I got a ride in a police car:

Sorta nice guy with a fancy red convertible took me out for lunch on our first date. After a sorta boring lunch, we were going to go for a drive. Trying to impress me, he squealed out of the spot we were parked in, right in front of an unmarked police car. Promptly pulled over, it turned out he owed thousands of dollars in fines from unpaid speeding and parking tickets. The paddy wagon was called, he was hauled off to jail, and before he left, offered me the keys to his car. I don't drive a standard, I said, whereupon he asked the police officers who arrested him to drive me home. They were funny guys who agreed to do it, and on the way, questioned me about whether I would see my date again. If you decide to, give us a call and we'll check him out for you. It was my first ride in a police car, and told the officers I was a little disappointed that it was an unmarked car. I'd hoped to impress my neighbours by hopping out of the back of a squad car when I got home. We could handcuff you if you like; was their kind offer to boost my street cred, which I declined. My date called me from jail later that afternoon, wanting to know if I was free for dinner. I wasn't.

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