When I was a kid there was a story that went around the schoolyard in winter. My friends swore to God that you could miss school, watch TV, and eat all of the ice cream that you wanted, if you just had your tonsils taken out.
A part of me didn't believe this because it sounded too good. But as the freezing weeks went by I kept thinking, but what if it is true? Could I really eat a tub of chocolate ice cream and stay at home and watch Rat Patrol?
Something about the story still bugged me though. How come the kids that told me didn't have their own tonsils out? Was it a trick? Was it only one flavour of ice cream? And what was a tonsil anyway?
In the end it didn't matter to me. I found out from the kid who chewed bugs during recess that all you had to do was eat yellow snow.
So that's what I did. Everyday on the way to school I grabbed a wooly mitt-full of the stuff and munched away.
Before long I was in the hospital.
And soon enough I was home watching TV, but bug boy had left one part out. The part about your throat turning into a swollen, painful, mess that hurts even when you swallow ice, let alone ice cream.
So what did I do? On my first day back at school I told everyone, I ate so much ice cream. I swear.