Animals: they sure think they're cute! From the zoo to the screen to the nature magazine, animals love rubbing how good they look in our faces. But we sent our photogs out to the fields and swamps and instructed them not to return without some shocking snaps of your favourite animals with no makeup on, looking mad homely and gross! You won't believe that these cringeworthy critters thought it was okay to leave the house/cave/animal hole looking like this!
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Hey, rabbit – good luck reproducing all the time with all of THIS happening, because it's a Category 4 mess! Throw some contouring on that white-ass Dracula face you're carrying around and Handle! That! Fuzz, buddy! When they decided to stop testing makeup on this disaster, makeup was like, "uh, are you SURE?" Woof!
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Ay yi yi! If James Cromwell saw THIS dud coming he'd be like, "That WON'T do, pig!" And here I thought mud was supposed to be GOOD for your skin! Yuh-ikes!
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Wee-oo! Wee-oo! Fuggo alert! Looks like in this fairy tale, the Ugly Duckling grew up to continue to be hella nasty! Mind you, that's not really fair of us; we're judging this duck based on a picture where it's doing that duck thing where its face is underwater and only its butt is sticking up and oh wait no we're not – that's the duck's FACE! (We knew it was its face burn burn burn duck.)
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Uhhhhhh 'scuse me, we evolved outta THIS old mess?! I'd like to speak to the manager, science! Take note, other primates: Monkey see, monkey DON'T leave the house with your nasty-ass eye bags on show like this! And it looks like monkeys' paws can't grant wishes after all, because those paws are wishing for a mani BIG TIME!
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...Okay, credit where credit's due: she's totally pulling off this look.
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My eyes! The sun! Slap some matte foundation on that shiny beacon of a forehead before I crash the car I'm driving while writing and posting this article! You can borrow mine for Free, Willy! (I know you're a dolphin and not a whale. That was just an extra bonus fat joke, my GOD my job is fulfilling!)

Canada geese are also terrible, those smug jerks:

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