WASHINGTON, DC–Ever since Harry Truman was dubbed "General" in 1945, it's become a well-known tradition that the Secret Service refers to the Commander-in-Chief by a special nickname. President-elect Donald Trump is no exception and according to inside sources, will now be addressed by his new codename, "Shithead".

Previous Secret Service codenames have included "Renegade" for Barack Obama, "Rawhide" for Ronald Reagan, and "Lancer" for JFK, but perhaps none has captured the essence of its owner quite like "Shithead" does Donald Trump.

"This was actually a really easy one," explained White House Communications Deputy Director Sam Copeland. "Usually it takes several rounds of discussion and voting to arrive at the name, but with Trump we sat down with the team and all 17 of us literally blurted it out in unison. We tried to continue spitballing, but there was no point. When you reach the summit of Everest you don't keep climbing, do you?"

Secret Service agent John Hammersmith says he is equally satisfied with the name. "A good codename should be simple, unambiguous and easy to remember. This fits the bill. Also I've met the man and he's a real shithead."

"If you want to shoot that Shithead, you're gonna have to shoot me first." - Secret Service Agent John Hammersmith

Although Hammersmith admits there is some levity inherent in a presidential codename, the job itself is something he treats with the utmost seriousness. "If you want to shoot that Shithead, you're gonna have to shoot me first."

Since the decision about Trump's codename, there has been speculation in the blogosphere about its "true" meaning. Some rumours, which have even shown up on several fake news sites, have suggested that the name is an homage to former Virginia governor Albert Shithead, but this is untrue as no such governor has ever existed.

In fact, as Copeland explains, "the name simply refers to the excrement that seems to exist inside of the President-elect's head whenever he speaks or tweets or makes a decision of any kind. Instead of brains, which you'd expect to be there, he appears to have human waste."

First Ladies also receive codenames, but Melania Trump has advised the Secret Service that she'll be fine with whatever Michelle Obama's was.

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