It's a new year. Huzzah! As ever, with one eye we look to the future, with the other we look back at our achievements. With both we look for our keys. Meh. Time passes. One year becomes the next. But in 2016 it's fair to say our mortality was sharply underlined by the loss of some truly significant icons. Those loses sucked, but they did come with a healthy dose of reality.

Last year reminded us that we're all going to die. The Grim Reaper is forever sharpening his (her?) scythe and no one escapes, erm, hir cold, bony embrace. But take heart humans, we're all in this together. Death could come a-knocking for any of us on a whim and there's a kind of solace in that. In fact, science says we may very likely all kick the communal bucket at once. More solace! Ultimately, Black Mirror is on point and all those scary apocalyptic sci-fi flicks are much closer to the truth than we'd care to admit. Cue awkward laughter and collar tugging. Also, stop. Smell roses. Repeat.

Not convinced? Here are 5 scientifically plausible extinction scenarios that could take us all to hell in a handbasket (or heaven in a luxury sedan, I guess, if you've been minding your P's and Q's):

Big ol' space rock

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If you don't think death can come from above in the form a gargantuan asteroid, just ask the dinosaurs. 65 million years ago a massive impact ended their reign when it set off tsunamis and earthquakes causing catastrophic seismic shifts. It also triggered eruptions from super volcanoes that blocked out the sun with ash sending any potential survivors into an eternal winter. Could it happen to us? Well, NASA thinks so. Oh, BTW there's an asteroid that's roughly the size of British Columbia. It's called Ceres, named after the Roman goddess of agriculture. The only things she's harvesting is souls. Pray to Bruce Willis. Maybe Aerosmith can play us out.

Robopocalypse

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The military is already experimenting with AI bots that can terminate autonomously without any human influence. That's happening right now. As you read this. And unless you're a robot, that should make your o-hole pucker. Also, have you seen the dog-bot? It's terrifying. Of course, we're also designing sex bots to do our depraved bidding in the bedroom, which comes with it's own special dangers for humankind. The gist is we're essentially using robots to do the worst kinds of work. The stuff we wouldn't submit a human to. And they're just getting smarter: they can already beat us at chess! It's a not really a question of will they will surpass us, but when. No, the real question is whether they'll be content with merely enslaving us or erasing us from the planet altogether.

Slight tickle at the back of your throat

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Just because we haven't seen the effects of massive plague like the Black Death since the middle ages, doesn't mean it can't happen again. Scientists say it's entirely possible. Yup. It could all be over in a flea bite. Couple that with our hyper-mobile society and that guy who refuses to cover his mouth when he coughs on a plane. There's also the possibility of a global pandemic that makes it impossible to reproduce effectively (tip of the plague mask to the Zika virus). Or some disease we've never even encountered before like Heartsplosion-itis or Facemeltia — which actually sound less scary than diseases that already exist.

Giant black suck hole to go

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Not only are black holes a very real thing, but they wander. Yup, some of these galaxy-slurping death portals meander about the universe. If one such travelling stuff-sucker happens to saddle up to us, we're done. And probably in a weird-ass way. A wandering black hole was recently spotted on the edge of an adjacent galaxy. His name is XJ1417+52 and he's 100,000 times the mass of our sun, which makes him a little guy compared to supermassive black holes, which are also a thing. Again, if any one of these very real cosmic bodies gets close, it'll drink your milkshake. Mine too. It'll slurp us down like a rich guy eating oysters. The only thing on the other side is us not existing anymore.

Bigger stick theory

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Without getting into the newer horrors of biological warfare (see 'Slight tickle at the back of your throat' above), a large scale nuclear holocaust would likely snuff us out. It's not so much the detonation of one nuclear device as the threat of a global retaliation that would be our death rattle. The result would be megadeath from initial impact and then firestorms, nuclear fallout, and finally a nuclear winter taking us from fire to ice. Eventually, only invulnerable creatures like cockroaches, water bears and Kanye's ego would inherit the earth. Could this happen? It's possible. Sometimes obnoxiously arrogant people get elected to power who may be more volatile and less even-keeled and they have full access to weapons of mass destruction and share a massive undefended border with Canada (wide staring eyeballs emoji). And if that kind of person can get elected, anything is possible.

I hate to be a fly in the ointment, but again, we're all going to die. Eventually. Aside from the varied possibilities above there's still old age (fingers crossed), pollution, the sun exploding, people just giving up, or, a good old-fashioned all out Judeo-Christian end of days rapture with angels, demons, rivers of blood, locusts. So many locusts. But probably just the sun exploding. The doomsday clock is forever ticking. So, definitely have that "the works" bagel for breakfast next time you're on the fence. And maybe keep your eyes peeled for Four Horsemen.

Okay, I'm off to ask my editor for a story on Guide Dog puppies, special needs kids helping each other, or something with a "triumph of the human spirit" angle. Or unicorns. Maybe I can do one on unicorns.

Marc Beaulieu is a writer, producer and host of the live Q&A show guyQ LIVE @AskMen.