SWEEPThe 2018 Winter Games unite Canadians with one thought: 'I could totally become an Olympic curler'
FIGURE SKATINGPotential hurdle: Canadian figure skater's mom made her wear those dangling mittens on a string
FLIPPIN' OUTWhen to use frickin', flippin', friggin', or freakin': a guide for those who grew up sheltered
QUIZ: Is it a poisonous mushroom or a regular one, which are also disgusting and shouldn't be eaten?
NOT A FUNGI
VALENTINE'S DAYI just found out my love language is Norwegian and it's so hard to learn
IT'S NO SACRIFICEElton John agrees to be organ donor, but will keep pianos in the family
IT'S NO SACRIFICE
PIECE OFFERINGTetris admits to deliberately withholding long, straight pieces to teach you lesson
JUST THE WAY HE ISBruno Mars is having trouble convincing the 9-1-1 operator he's not feeling amazing
JUST THE WAY HE IS
SPORTSI only watch the Super Bowl commercials — no, like the ones for that new stainless steel bowl
DAMSEL IN DISTRESSDo you jerks even realize what goes into making your $480 pre-ripped, distressed jeans?
DAMSEL IN DISTRESS
NEVER MAKE THISImpress your dinner guests with this recipe for braised duck in an agitated Tide Pod jus!*
NEVER MAKE THIS
THE GREAT ONESYou miss 100% of the Costco free samples you don't take, by Wayne Gretzky
THE GREAT ONES
OH NOSOCIAL MEDIA FAIL: Sears Canada's Twitter burned Zellers for going under because nobody told them the news yet
2 BSB OR NOT 2 BSB'Nay, I Desireth It In That Manner' and other Backstreet Boys songs rewritten by Shakespeare
2 BSB OR NOT 2 BSB
THUS IS THE JOKETranscript of an extremely pretentious comedy set at an Open Michael Night
THUS IS THE JOKE
AWARDS SEASONOP-ED: As a man named Oscar Buzz, I find awards season confusing and stressful
THE PATHDowntown Toronto lawyer emerges after 9 years lost in underground network of food courts
BLACK MIRRORBlack Mirror fan spends weekend watching fantasy world where people are slaves to screens
PITCH PERFECTWill I still 'get' Pitch Perfect 3 if I haven't seen 1 or 2 and will never see 3?
UNITED NATIONSOfficial UN declaration on how to handle small talk in the workplace bathroom