Tonight:

I'm dreaming of a white-knuckle Christmas story. It's an "As It Happens" tradition -- tonight, the thirty-fourth annual broadcast of "Fireside Al" Maitland, reading Frederick Forsyth's "The Shepherd".

The Hosts of Christmases Past. We revisit some of the more spirited interviews piloted by "As it Happens" presenters of auld lang syne.

Meet Cap'n Snow, Santa's wingman. Former host Barbara Frum interviews pilot Ted Snow, who for years showered lighthouses along the eastern seabord with gifts, from his single-engine plane.

O Tinselled-bob, O Tinselled-bob, thy locks are so unchanging! A Michigan hairdresser gives his wife's hair the full Christmas Tree treatment -- highlights, extensions, and plugs -- and the results are electric.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree, thy leaves have long since left you! In terms of evergreens, it was a definite has-been -- still, a Nova Scotia man just couldn't bear to part with his very bare, decades-old Christmas Fir.

And...keeping up with the Grinches. When a man sees his light show shut down by the city, that man blames his neighbour...whose heart, he believes, is two sizes too small.

As it Happens, the Christmas Eve edition. Radio that brings you a seasonal smorgasbord -- from Seuss to nuts.

Fasten your seatbelts, folks, and prepare for takeoff.

For the thirty-fourth time now, we begin our last show before Christmas with Fireside Al Maitland's classic reading of Frederick Forsyth's short story -- as we have done every year since 1979.

The year is 1957. An RAF pilot is heading home from Germany for Christmas. Fog sets in, and all radio communication is lost.

Without further ado, former "As it Happens" host Alan Maitland with The Shepherd.

We're about to embark on another exciting journey -- through the "As it Happenses" of Christmases Past.

Our first stop: December twelfth, 1990. That's when former "As it Happens" host Michael Enright spoke with real-life shepherd, Howard Stevenson in North Yorkshire, England. Much like the hero of Mr. Forsyth's story, Mr. Stevenson was overcome by terrible weather -- one of the worst snowstorms to hit the region in years -- while out tending his flock. Taking matters into his own hands, he nonetheless appealed to the hand of providence to guide him through the crisis.

Howard Stevenson spoke with Michael, not long after he'd returned from the hospital.

We're going to take to the skies again now. Our destination: December twenty-second, 1973 -- when "As it Happens" host Barbara Frum spoke with pilot Ted Snow -- an aptly-named, real-life Santa Claus.

Here once again is Barbara's then-co-host, the great Al Maitland, introducing that interview.

We're going to venture even further afield now -- to the far reaches of the galaxy and back. Or at least "super far out, man" in terms of an interview, if you dig what I'm layin' down.

As you may have heard, the world was supposed to end three days ago -- at least according to some contemporary wannabe prophets with a very liberal interpretation of the ancient Mayan calendar.

But as you're about to hear, "As it Happens" has encountered its share of doomsday predictions over the years. Here's Barbara Frum to explain. This is from December 19, 1973.

All right, so far the doomsday theories have proven wrong. But what if we're completely off about Christmas altogether? That was the theory a British physicist shared with Barbara Frum in 1976. He tried to convince her that it wasn't 1976, it was 1981 -- and also, that Christmas that year had already come and gone.

Here's part of what David Hughes told Barbara on December ninth, 1976. Or sometime five years later -- depending on who you believe.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around what year it is, if that physicist's logic is sound. In the meantime, we're going to zap back to the year 1981 -- the generally-established 1981, that is -- not Mr. Hughes's 1981, which was apparently 1976 as we knew it.

I should stop drinking this spiked egg nog. It's not helping at all.

Anyway, our commonly-accepted 1981 was the year hairdresser Joe Pollock wrapped his wife's head in a fully-operational, blinking Christmas Tree hairdo.

Here's how he described it to host Michael Enright.

Speaking of The Browns, and Christmas trees, that's what Murray Fraser's Christmas tree developed. A bad case of "the browns".

That's because, by the time the Lunenberg, Nova Scotia resident spoke to "As it Happens" guest host David Schatzky on January second, 1986, he'd been holding on to his Christmas tree -- a real one -- for nearly twenty years.

From January 2nd, 1986, "As it Happens" host David Schatzky speaking with Lunenberg, Nova Scotia resident Murray Fraser, about his two-decade-old Christmas tree.

Well now.

From Fir trees -- and those made of womanly tresses --

We turn our attention to decked-out addresses.

For it seems that some folks...well, they just lose all reason,

When adorning their homes for the holiday season.

Take John Storms, for example, our friend down in Texas,

Who told us last month what he'd set up for X-mas.

A Gangnam-style light show, to befit any tech nerd,

If you missed that discussion, here's a clip, fer the rekerd:

From just this November, in our A-I-H files,

The Texan who X-massed his house, Gangnam-style.

Now you're probably wondering why suddenly I'm

Committing to speaking in Seussian rhyme,

Well, it serves as a segue -- one I'll not long belabour --

For the following tale, 'bout a Grinch of a neighbour.

From our archives -- November, Two-Thousand-and-Four,

Here's the great Barbara Budd now to tell you some more,

Her splendorous poem introduces the guest --

Then Mary Lou Finlay takes care of the rest.

He went without Santas! He went without sleighs!

He went without blazingly bright light displays!

No more than a Grinch...pointing there. That was all.

A mechanical Grinch -- one three sizes too tall.

That November, Two-Thousand-and-Four interview

Was brought to you by former host, Mary Lou.

That's it -- with the rhymes? You're all done for the night?

Yep, I'm done. That is it!...Then again, I just might...

It's the end of the show, everyone. Merry Christmas.

Wait! We're all done here? Did you just dismiss us?

As it Happens will be back the day after tomorrow.

Same time as always. Not a moment before, though.

Happy Christmas to all.

And to all a good night! I'm Carol Off.

I'm Jeff Douglas. Good night.