TORONTO, ON—What a way to ruin a morning.

Garvin Meldrew (Editor's Note: not his real name, though it's a pretty fun one), an aspiring serial killer currently at-large in the GTA, was deeply disappointed early this morning when he heard jingling bells from a passing truck and ran out with a burlap sack full of knives, only to be crestfallen when the truck turned out to be merely selling ice cream.

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"You get your hopes up, you know? That ring, it's like… Pavlov's dog. Man, I probably woke everybody up clanging my knives altogether throwing them into the bag. I don't like that, I want them to think that I'm quiet, you know, keep to myself mostly," said Meldrew.

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"Though I guess no noise I made would have woken them up if the truck's ringing didn't. So I guess I'm off the hook there."

We contacted the mayor's office about the similarity in sounds, which can lead to disappointment for children and potential criminals alike.

"Ideally, the two trucks would choose very different-sounding chimes, so that nobody ends up disappointed, but it's not really our department" said a spokesperson for the mayor.

"Also ideally, you would tell us who this person is whom you interviewed, since he seems to hoping be a murderer and all. We would really appreciate that."

At press time, why doesn't he just buy a knife-sharpener to make it easier? I mean obviously we hope he doesn't, but just from his point of view.

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